The Muse Sometimes Screams
At my last stop my cell phone rings. It is my friend telling me she is at my house and can I meet her at Michaels. Seems she bought 150.00 worth of canvases, LARGE ONES, at 60% off, and decided that she did not need them. They were holding them for her there and she needed to either sell them to me, or else return them. Did I want them? HOW BIG?
The convertible would not hold the canvases, so I used the CRV, Larry's car, the one WITHOUT A/C (and it isn't that we don't have the money to fix it, it is just that he never has bothered to get it fixed...) and crankily headed over to Michaels, an arts/crafts "box store" that I try to avoid.
In the end, it was well worth it. Six 24" x 36", and two 36" x 48" heavy duty canvas/stretchers, with the nice wide edges. Canvases that won't warp. Solid. BIG. Average price for each- 20.00. Can't beat it.
I used to paint on Sunday mornings. It was a time that I celebrated being one with my higher power through the paint. It had been a long time since I had done that, and decided to spend the entire day in the studio. I immediately unwrapped one of the canvases and placed it upon the beautiful easel that Larry bought me last Christmas which I had not used yet. I kept getting drawn to its largeness and the bright white blank surface. I had other things to do, but I broke out the green gesso and threw down a coat. Once the white of the canvas is gone, it's all fair game.
I did some framing for an upcoming show, and when the gesso was dry, started sketching out a landscape. I was driven, and for the next few hours worked up an underpainting shown here. The moody sullen dreamy green landscape. I love to do monochromatic landscapes; it is something I have periodically explored since my teen years, locked away in my bedroom with Judy Collins or Joni Mitchell playing on my Sony Stereo.
I can't explain the process, save for an invisible force guided my hand, drove me to complete the first layer, and pushed me to my limit that day.
It came again yesterday when I went back to look at the painting with the distance of a day behind me. I looked at the areas that need work, and I started to decide how I am going to approach it on the second round. The paint was still wet, and best left to dry while I am gone. Again driven, I had to start another one, this time a small one, as I only had an hour or so to throw down my first layer of oil. I decided to do a mid day rendering of the fields to change my color palette.
I am afraid to go in there again today. I am afraid that I am going to have to start working on another painting, and I won't get the things I need to get done for my trip. But there was something wonderful that went on the past few days, something exciting, something encouraging. Was it a glimpse of my future, or what I have dreamed my future to be? Is it a sign of encouragment? What DOES my future hold?
The muse pushed me, encouraged me, held me, challenged me, and smiled upon me. I think she found me the Facebook Art groups which have challenged and fueled my creativity.
I think she knew what I needed. And I won't ignore her.