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Showing posts from February, 2009

Workshop Photos

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Not a good start to the day. I thought the workshop started at 10. At 9 am I double checked online. It started at 9. I live 1/2 hour away from the center. In my rush to get leave (sans breakfast) I hit the portable dishwasher, which knocked over the bottle of wine, whose top was not on, and spilled all over the wall and behind the stove. The timer also fell, which I promptly whipped across the room and broke into a half a dozen pieces. I am not proud of this. I know I snapped. I have not done so in such a long time.I am a total hormonal mess, and this can't go on. On the way to class, I thought "great. I am just like one of the kids that I teach. I am going to class a total mess, and ready to have a meltdown". In that reflection, I understood how my kids must feel, some of them on a daily basis. I knew that I needed a cry, to be left alone to dive into the paints and get myself back into a human state. I have no excuse for this. I don't have any stressors in
It has been a REALLY tough teaching week, and I have not been well physically. My hormones are making me really sick and playing Russian Roulette with my brain and my body. It is probably the last big party before they head out, or at least I can only hope. If this happens again in 2 or 3 weeks, I am abandoning my body. Or heading to a warm Caribbean island. Below is an excerpt from my art blog. In addition to work and physical frustrations, I came home to "the letter".... "I had spent 135.00 to join an elite art organization, and another 20+ for the fee to have 3 pieces submitted to a show that was curated by a Bard College professor. By now you know how deep my love for the Hudson River Valley region runs, and how it is reflected in some of my art. It come from a very spiritual place inside of me, and I love the work that I produce from my experiences spent hiking, photographing, painting, and being one with the region. 200 pieces submitted, 47 accepted, I sent in

From the Observation Deck...of life

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Tom has been working on my house...he was still here when I got home and we chatted for a bit before we both had to do other things. He is a faithful (I think) reader of my blog and was talking to my daughter online about where I was last night. "You mom must have had a bad day. She hasn't been online at all and she still hasn't written her blog". She agreed, and they wondered what was up. I have had worse ones, but the days on end of cramps got to me and I hauled poor Annie out to Ugly Gus's for A drink. I had only a thimble of wine left in the house (I put a lot of it in the bean salad - and am still feeling the effects of from the day before). Needless to say, we met up with other people, and one hour turned to three, it being so easy to sip on our drinks and share stories and discuss our lives. Finally I realized that I had to get home to write and tidy up the house a bit before another day rolled around. Back to today and Tom. He is running speaker wire

Thoughts While Meditating

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I meditate each morning for 8 minutes. I have it down after doing it since October, at least on work days. I have to get better about it on the weekends, but at the very least I do it before work as I know that is the time I need to be calm, be in the moment, and have a sense of peace before I start my day. The alarm goes off at 6 AM. I lie in bed and dream, think, snuggle, or stay warm for another 30 minutes. I tear myself away from the warmth of the bed and of Larry's curled up body to get up, put on sweats or my robe, and go into my little meditation room. At 6:30 or so it is still dark, a faint light coming through the open blinds. I know in another week the clocks are turned ahead an hour and the room will be softly lit with early morning light. It does not matter; I close my eyes. I never know where my meditation will take me. I try and have an intention every day. Sometimes my mind goes all over the place, and I have to let the thoughts come in and let them go. Today I

FAT TUESDAY!

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First of all, my friend sent me a fun thing to do on Facebook, which I am going to post here for all of my Photoshop savvy readers. My "random" results were quite interesting. You take a bunch of random links through which you get the name of a band, and the name of an album, and an image, and put it together. The photo I posted tonight was my band and album, and what a hoot. Here are the directions if you want to play: 1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random...or go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2 - Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together. I just got ho

More Secret Obsessions

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I love historical books and movies, whether they are biographies or historical fiction. I wonder why I have such a passion for it as there was nothing in my life that would have influenced such a greedy hunger for it. Perhaps it is the little girl or pre-adolescent deep within me working through my fantasies of knights in shining armor, of being rescued, or treated like a princess or a queen. Or maybe the artist in me yearns to don gorgeous dresses and jewels. And let's not forget sordid affairs, cuckolded husbands and the such. Though I only read 35 of the 100 greatest fiction books listed by the BBC, (and I am sorry, but The DaVince Code should have NEVER been on that list) I have also read countless books on subjects such as Marie Antoinette, Henry VIII, Mary Queen of Scots, Edward VII, Jenny Churchill, The Duke and Duchess of Windsor, Cleopatra,etc. I have watched also lots of movies that are also of this ilk, and as I sit and type here, I suddenly have a flashback to the fi

Widgets and Gadgets and Code OH MY

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So I pretend I am a code writer. I try and make one of my logos link to my Catskill Paper blog, the one that has all of my art on it. I copy code from another source, and blindly try and write my own. I post, review my blog, and horrors, instead I lost all my blog writing. How I did that, I have no idea, but the combos of periods, forward slashes, words, etc. made all of my writing go away. Everything else was fine, but instead of my cute little picture that was supposed to link to my other blog, blogger went bonkers and poof, my wonderful (or for some of you -- not so wonderful) words of wisdom vanished. Fortunately I got rid of the code- once I found it, and decided that I really need to consult with someone about my marketing ideas, my coding etc. Let's face it; I am not a professional graphic designer (though I am not too bad at some of it) and I have MINIMAL HTML coding experience. And widgets, aren't they cousins of midgets? So, I have found someone online whose wor

Bargain Art

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I have been having endless conversations in my head, and a few with my therapist about being able to sell art. I do it for the love of it, but isn't there a book that says do what you love and the money will follow? I'm still waiting. The problem is I what I make fits into a small niche market. VERY SMALL. Not many people buy cards these days, especially BLANK cards because that means that they have to actually write. Then to top it off, they contain Victorian images, and a majority of Americans have no clue about what they are nor care if what I make contains the original pieces, not reprints or copies. Then there is my twisted sense of humor. Once I heard a woman walk by my art and say "I don't get this".Bada bing. My mixed media pieces are very cool, but Larry keeps reminding me that people like to buy PAINTINGS. And I have a hard time fitting in time to paint, as I need more than an hour or two here and there to do it. It requires a commitment of sever

Cancelling my Myspace Account

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I came home from a very difficult work week, and headed straight to bed. Not out of depression and frustration, but out of pure exhaustion. A majority of the staff and students were sick all week from the flu, and I felt that my body was telling me something that I was going to listen to. I slept for a few hours, and woke up to CNN which I had put on for some news before I fell asleep, also hoping that some of it would seep in while I was in the zone. I woke up to the story of the cartoon published in the NY Post on Wednesday, depicting police shooting a gorilla/monkey in regards to the stimulus bill. An excellent article about this is on the Huffington Post which will save me a lot of typing, so if you are interested, give it a read. I believe in Freedom of Speech, but not when it promotes hatred, violence, bigotry, racism etc. The Post could have saved a BIT of face by issuing a forthright apology, but instead issued one that I found INSULTING. And further more, I think that the

It's All How You Look at It

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Originally I had hoped that I could meet up with a friend tonight for dinner, but one was dealing with relatives, my other friend I tried to text, but it turned out either she has a new cell number, or someone has stolen her phone, as I got Edgar returning my texts. I gave up after trying twice, and decided that I really needed to go home and just settle in. Besides, the wind was kicking up a storm and I HATE WIND unless it is 75 degrees and coming off some ocean,preferably the Caribbean. Larry had bought home some food from Woodstock, and told me I could have the left overs. As I was attempting to lay it on a plate, the tempeh fell on the floor, scattering the sauce all over the place. I wiped off any cat hairs which may have stuck to it, and proceeded to heat it up. The polenta was OK, but the tempeh SUCKED. I ditched it, and settled into eating the rest of the brie on crackers and sipped on some wine. During a discussion with a friend, he referred to me as being a lovely energy

A New Doctor

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After school I had a visit to a new doctor. I had been putting off the visit to this doctor for a long time, until I found a suitable candidate to explore my last unexplored, and/or unexploited orifices. This was not an easy task. The most poop-u-lar gastroenterologist in town lives down the street from me. Dr. Steckman. Now what kind of a name is that for a doctor who explores one's gastric regions? I AM THE STECK MAN. I AM THE WALRUS. GOO GOO CA G'JOOB. GOO GOO my ass. NOT MY NEIGHBOR. Can you imagine, your neighbor doing YOUR colonoscopy? Running into him on the street or at the local deli? Oh hi Dr. Steckman, how IS the chocolate pudding here? I have been having some stomach issues for a year now. I am also over 50. So I knew that I had it coming...the exploration of both regions. The question was WHO? My doc (who is a woman, as are most of my physicians thank you - save for the crazy woman dermatologist who traumatized me by having a man come in and look at my ver

Bewildered

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Tonight's painting BEWILDERED, along with last night's piece, PLANETARY PINCH are listed on eBay . I don't usually list my art there, as I have other venues to sell my art, but right now, I have art, and it all isn't out and about in places to be seen, and I figure that at the very least, different people will see it on eBay, and maybe someone will say I HAVE TO HAVE THAT. As the old adage goes, "you can't win if you don't play." I also look at it as a way to get my artwork out for the world to see at the very least. Pretty cheap advertising I say! And, if I make a few people chuckle, or it brings to them a memory or reaction, then that is part of the joy of making art. This piece is titled "Bewildered". Painted on location at Wilderstein , a historic site outside of the town of Rhinebeck that has a view of the Hudson River. Painted in acrylic on a 5 x 7" canvas panel, and collaged with an antique Victorian die cut, the little girl r

A Perfect President's Day

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Today was MY day to cater to myself, and shut out the world, except when I wanted to be part of it. I joined Twitter, though I am not sure what the point of it all is quite yet. What I have discovered is that places like Twitter, Facebook, and yes, probably even Blogger, have the rights to anything you publish on their sites. Yep, you read it right. I have to do more research and see if any of these sites have ever USED any one's writing or images, but it makes you realize how as artists we need to read all the fine print. So any art images from now on will be at low resolutions, and probably watermarked, so that they won't WANT my images. It makes the viewing less lovely for my readers, who I am sure are all honest people, but I don't want blogger stealing my artwork! I am not going to bother doing all of that for my photos, and I will keep writing, but it makes you realize how vulnerable we are to having our art taken without compensation. I spent much time working in

The Week in Review: movies and music

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Amazingly I got to the movies TWICE this week! I love love love going to the movies, but never seem to have the time to do so. I have a tough time watching movies at home too, as I usually head up to bed too late to make it through an entire movie. The last two movies I have rented were bombs...or else it was too late to wrap my head around them. TITUS was WAYYYY too much work to watch after an incredibly long day, and THE QUEEN put me to sleep. I have not given up on the movie, and am hoping that it's slow pace was again, just too much for me to deal with at 11 PM. I went with a friend to see TAKEN. It was not a movie I would normally put on my "to see" list, but there was nothing else that I was interested in that was showing at the time my friend and I went. Besides, I figured, with Liam Neeson headlining, how bad can it be? What was bad was the cup of coffee I had before the movie. It should have been something sedating. Instead I sat on the edge of my seat rocki

VISIONARY ART COLLECTIVE

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Tonight is the opening of the 5th annual Varga Gallery showcase of women's art. I joined the Visionary Collective yesterday, which was a good step in the art world for me as it will force me to come up with two new small art works a month, to hang in the Christina Varga's Gallery in Woodstock, New York. I now belong to the Woodstock Art Association and Museum, am an artist "repped" by the Varga Gallery, and the jury is out as to whether I will re-join the ASK network in Kingston. I will eventually re-join, but with money tight, I will have to bring in more money to pay the 55.00 fee. It is expensive to be an artist, as there are dues to pay, art to make AND frame, and with a sales of fine art sporadic, I have to invest my money wisely. I held back my notebook from the Notebook Project as I found out that the fine print states that they own the copyright to my work! The limericks and art were unique enough that I cannot chance their using my art and writing, with

The Church Part II

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After last night's blog, I don't want you, my readers, to think that I am totally soured on religion. Instead, think of me as one who has been able to throw off the cloak of guilt and of the fear of eternal damnation for my sins, to receive a loving and kind God. I grew up in a time where anything I did was going to put me in hell. Patent leather shoes, french kissing, thinking of sex, and such things that I can't get into here. (remember the big brother of education might be reading this blog) I was married for the first time in the Catholic church, and then got a divorce after #1 represented a severe threat to our lives...according to my current therapist. He was right, and I knew I had to leave. I met #2, who was a good man, but emotionally bankrupt, and then finally met #3, who is the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with...in sickness and in health, through thick and thin. I am sad that my mother would not come to my second wedding because I did not get mar

A Sick Joke

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Sent to me by a dear friend...Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it. He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your dick.'The other one replies, 'It's working just fine.. I'm down to two butts a day.' Now some of you may be offended by this joke, but it is a commentary on an issue that some just wish would go away, choose to ignore, or are in denial about -- like the abuse in the Irish Catholic culture bought to light in Frank McCourt's books and in movies such as The Magdelaine Sisters. The Catholic church has lots of deep dark sins over the past 1,500 years or so...from the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the selling of indulgences, to the present buying out of your marriage through annulments, and many many layers in between. On a personal note, I never knew what

60 degrees of roof separation

I woke up this morning after a series of nightmares quite disturbed. The first one made me want to hurt Larry. I hate those dreams where one's spouse or lover does things to you in your dream that make you so mad that you want to hurt them either in your sleep, or when you wake up. One night I had such an evil dream that I bit Larry in my sleep I am embarrassed to say. That was a definite "WTF!" response on his end. Then there was the dream of my swimming with my granddaughter in an pool of dead sea creatures. Rotten giant squid and jelly fish come to mind, and huge fish, like sturgeon, were swimming threateningly beneath our feet. At one point Alanna and I went under, and all I knew was that I had to get her out of there. Two intertpretations are that it is the symbol of dying fertility (duh) or that it symbolizes the loss of wealth through some disaster. Is that what happens after you watch hours of CNN and its discussions about the stimulus package? (FYI, the onl

An Upside Down Day

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I was in bed after work today, only to roused by Larry tempting me with brie on a cracker, and the promise of some wine downstairs. I don't know what it is, but I will blame the hormones, cause it is easy. But I suspect it might be the stress of the day and my life that comes creeping in disguised as fatigue. I did not want to write last night. I did not go on the computer much at all today, which prompted my friend Tom to call and ask if I was OK. (he also had to ask me some questions about tiles for the bathroom). After work I crawled into bed, something I NEVER DO. I laid there and sulked. Today was a rough day in school. It was a day where I almost walked out and told them I can't do this anymore. This has been the first time this year since I have felt that, but I work with very difficult students, and one class makes me feel unsafe, angry, and frustrated. At the end of the day I fought back tears as I sat writing up reports. My stomach started bothering me again; i

A Noble Cause

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My friends Kathryn, Zoksang and their two lovely children live down the street from me. In fact, they live in a house that I wanted to buy with #2 some 20 years ago. At the time I thought 180,000 was preposterous, and we found the home that I live in now, for 128,000 which I thought was still too much money. It is a huge Victorian home, with several parlors that have pocket doors, a bay window, two kitchens, a huge bathroom with built in cabinets galore, and a double sized lot PERFECT for a huge garden. It had a slight structural problem, the woman would not come down in price, so we found another home. BUT I still get to visit it now and then, and they have done a beautiful job doing the work that it needed. The photograph above was taken by Zoksang, who graciously allowed me to post it on my blog. He is a photographer and owner of VISIONS OF TIBET I believe he is one of the main photographers of the Dalai Lama, and this photograph is available from his website (link I just provi

Shameless Promoting

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I have been working hard on building up more stock of my cards for submission to Olana, to have them ready at the drop of a hat when my client emails me "NEED MORE CARDS" and to have for others to buy. I just spent nearly 100 dollars investing in about 500 pieces of new paper and postcards, in order to be ready. It is harder and harder to get antique paper at a price that I can afford to create with. I am a one woman show here, and only hire someone on occasion to help me put on the finishing touches of glitter for holiday cards, to package/label/price them, and that is usually just before a big show. The rest of the time I do it all myself; the designing, sewing, and usually everything else in between. Then there is the marketing, the listing on Etsy, and the occasional post here and on Facebook etc. I will never get "wealthy" from these cards, as they are labor and material intensive, but oh do I so enjoy making them. Since I often can't get into the studi

The Meaning of Life

I had this great blog percolating in my head, and I had a great session planned out in therapy - about the meaning of life, and the wonder and greatness of it all. I thought I had it all figured out. Then POOF, Peg played the devil's advocate, and twisted it all, just a little bit. She knew I was strong enough to face the challenge. And she pointed out, things don't have to be ruined or put on hold, it is how we approach things in our head and in our heart that makes the difference. But back to my original thoughts. I have been pretty stable for the most part. Health of family stable (well, not really, but nothing critical). When life is stable, I am able to dig deep and think hard about life. Not my life necessarily, but life in general. I think about our purpose in life. I believe we are put here on this earth given certain gifts. For me it is the ability to work with young people through my teaching, to love others to the best of my ability, make and share my art, a

Definately Sloggin'

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First of all, if you are a man and you are squeamish about discussing women's bodies and such, stop reading. This is NOT for you. But for some of you, it might be educational, and give you some insight into the women in your life, whether sister, lover, wife, mother, etc. And for my women friends, I can see you shaking your heads up and down in empathy. At almost 52, I should be done with this menstruation bit. Somehow, when I turned 50, I thought, HOORAY, it is going to be over! Then my dear friend told me she did not go through menopause until she was 62. I wanted to scream. I am having "issues". For three years now I have had cycles that last 14-28 days, usually on the 14-21 day end. For a week ahead of time I have insomnia, night sweats, and the day before it hits, I get a headache that drops down over me like a cowl. We won't even discuss the occasional melt downs from time to time, but I know enough now to warn Larry and tell him (in the middle of being sarca

Some Beautiful Prints

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Today was a busy day. Studio work again, but I so LOVE being in my wonderful studio, built by my friend Tom. I fantasize about bumping it up to a second floor, with a sliding glass doors that opens out to a small deck. It would be sort of like a loft, and the floor where I would just paint. I would have a day bed there of course as I have always wanted a day bed in my studio. Dream on...I think. But dreams CAN come true! Here are some prints I have on Ebay. They are late 1800's, fab for framing for your house. From a traveling salesman's catalog. My ID (in case you are hankering for one) is catskillpaper. Off to finish off a bunch of stuff I still need to do before I sleep. Ciao for now, Patti O Seller

Olana

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My love for Olana runs deep. I wish I could remember the first time I visited it; it was probably at a time that I choose not to remember, like when I was raising two kids alone, working, and going to graduate school. But I am a sucker for romance, landscapes, Victorian painting, and exotic architecture, so I fell in love at first sight. I have made several paintings and numerous sketches of the site and landscape, and photographed it many times, during different hours and during all four seasons. I have been married there on the autumnal equinox at sunset. I have embellished my house with decorative objects that I have bought in the gift shop. I have sipped on wine and watched the sun set over the Hudson. I have heard the crunch of snow and ice, and felt the suction of mud on my boots on a late winter day. I have watched the sun reflect the windows at sunset, and witnessed the house turn a liquid gold on a hot summer day. I fantasize about living in the house and painting the la

Tromping Through Massachusetts

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Larry and I promised ourselves a break after the holidays to spend time together on a little romantic jaunt. We headed north, crossed over the Hudson, and headed to Stockbridge, Massachusetts. As we drove thru the Berkshires, we saw the horrid damage from the last storm. The tops of the trees along a several mile stretch were all broken off from the severe ice build up. The weaker ones were flattened, the younger ones losing the weakest branches and the tops. It was surreal. We stopped in Great Barrington for lunch at a Thai restaurant, and went to the Outfitter store which had a GREAT buy on winter boots. As my feet were freezing in my leather boots, I bought myself a pair of Canadian boots - Pajars. The last pair of Canadian boots I had were toasty warm, the bottoms lined with some kind of silver space age material. They lasted for years until I rode them horseback riding and they got full of mud and manure, got thrown into the basement, only to fall victim to the mold monster.