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Showing posts from May, 2007

Word of the Day

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I subscribe to the dictionary.com's WORD OF THE DAY. I love getting a new word each day, seeing if I know it, and if I don't, trying to figure out how I would use it in a sentence, in my classroom, or like today, in my blog. Some words roll so easily over my tongue and bring to mind creativity and light. Bri-colage. Empyrean. Pastiche. Then there are those words that lurk and hang on the tongue like black strap molasses....furtive, moil,impugn. Today's word was disconsolate. Synonyms: bad, black, cheerless, cold, comfortless, cracked up, crestfallen, crushed, cut up, dark, dejected, depressed, desolate, despairing, destroyed, dispirited, distressed, doleful, down, downcast, downhearted, dreary, forlorn, gloomy, grief-stricken, heartbroken, hopeless, hurting, in pain*, inconsolable, low, melancholy, miserable, put away, ripped*, sad, somber, sorrowful, torn up, woebegone, woeful, wretched. Well, after reading that, if I was not disconsolate before I read it, I certa

The Gazing Ball

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I have always wanted a gazing ball. Back in the 1960's the backyards of my neighbors in Long Island sparkled with these mercury glass like spheres. Magenta, teal, silver. I was entranced by their beauty; they were like large Christmas balls that people put outside to celebrate summer. For Mother's Day Larry bought me a silver one. He wanted to place it where I could see it from my studio window. I joked with him and said.."when I am in my studio I am working, I am not staring out the window!" He put the ball outside my window anyway, between the rhodadendron and the little "Zen" garden. Today, for the first time in a week or more, I spent some time in the studio listening to an eclectic mix of music and working on some projects. As always I was deep in thought while designing and producing, when I stared out my picture window into the yard. There stood my gazing ball...reflecting the life around it. I smiled. I felt soothed by my childhood memories a

Vacooters and Pusabits

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Preface: the other day my friends and I were talking about how as children most of us were never taught the proper names for our genitalia. We had all kinds of nicknames for them. Many parents today choose to use the correct terms. I live in both worlds. It still has never felt 100% comfortable to say penis or vagina but it sure doesn't sound as silly as some of the other names we have called our "private parts". Fast forward to tonight: I was giving Alanna a bath. I told her to wash her hiney. She washes and says,"I washed my back hiney." I told her to wash her vagina too. She looked and me and said THAT IS MY COOTER. I looked, and shook my head in disbelief. I guess that is what her mom calls it, and I just said, "ok, it is also a vagina." She looks at me and says.."it's my va .... va.... vacooter!" I almost howled. Then I had a flashback about how my brother and I came up with a nickname for penis--- it was (now are you ready for this.

Angel AND Devil Girl

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I posted earlier, and am too tired and crampy to post much again, but I had to post these pictures from my Memorial Day Afternoon barbecue with Alanna and Megan. Megan is a Veteran of our current disaster of a war, and rather than march in a parade, she opted for a quiet afternoon in mom's backyard, having a few beers, eating some food, and just hanging with family and a few friends. Thank you Megan for your service to this country, even though the government has not served YOU as well as you have served them. Thank God for community and friends who will indeed take better care of you than the Veteran's Administration does. I hope this changes for our Veterans!!! Alanna in her coy sweet mood, and Alanna when Mimi (me) told her not to play with the gazing ball, and upon this request Alanna screaming "I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE". To bed, Patti

Artists in the Mountains

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I may have used this little watercolor before in a blog, but it so captures the essence of my beloved Catskills. I miss the mountains. I hated them when I was a teen as I was transplanted from Long Island, a place where there was tons of kids in a block to hang with, into a hamlet (A HAMLET - not even a town!)in the middle of nowhere, with trees, chipmunks, and other wildlife to converse with. I hated my life back then. I was depressed, and, with good reason. But now, as an adult, I yearn for the coolness of the forest, the smell of the pines, the sound of the wind when it roars down the mountains. I wish I had the privacy that I once had..where you could walk outside with nothing or everything on. Last night's party at Judith's house was splendid. She lives off Route 28, one of the main routes through the Catskill Mountains, in a log style home, with a terraced waterfall and pond full of thousands of poly wogs, surrounded by woods and bordering on state land in the Catskills.

Speak Softly and Carry a Magic Mallet

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It was the opening of the Farmer's Market in our little city in the Hudson Valley. I love strolling down the closed off street and buying things that I can't find elsewhere such as homemade quiche with salmon and leeks, or fabulous cheeses, black currant juice, plants. There was not much produce as the season is slow this year. (my peas are still only 6" tall, I only got one spinach plant, and not much is progressing in the garden), but to stroll and see old friends and feel the energy of an open market is always fun. We got some more gardening done. At this time of the year the outside of the house always looks far better than the inside! The winter snows can hide a multitude of sins, so that we can concentrate on the inside, but spring/summer/fall is a time where most of my energy goes into making our small city plot a garden full of flowers and organic edibles. Larry planted all of our cannas which are multiplying out of control. When we dig them out this fall (and they

While My Eyes Gently Weep

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So the ante has been upped with my allergies. Not only do I sneeze,cough,have a voice that is several octives lower making it sound like I am changing sexes (now isn't that in interesting thought- I would be a very scary man) but my eyes are running, giving me the appearance of being a sad sad weepy woman. And, even though I have had PLENTY of reason to carry tears in my eyes, I am not the crying type. My day yesterday was stressed. I tried with all my might to get the yearbook done and the final copy on three supervisor's desks. Computer freezes, constant program crashes, file problems etc. made it IMPOSSIBLE. I sat at my computer for 6 hours non-stop and finally had to give up and tell my two students who were feeling the stress with me that we did our best, and we will resume next week to finish it up. Turn off computers and I zoomed to the foot doc who assured me I am healing fine and I only have to keep the bandage on another week. Anything after a tri-malleolar frac

A Gift to Myself

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For the first time all year, I took 1/2 a personal day for myself today. I take time for everyone else but so rarely take time for me. At noon I left and headed straight for the nursery and bought my lettuce, herbs and tomatoes. I put on the least amount of clothes that are legal for a middle aged woman to wear while gardening, and dug, fertilized, and planted most of my plants. My daughter and her toddler came over, we hooked up the sprinkler, filled the baby pool, and all proceeded to dance and run though them---clothes and all. The sun was shining strong, it was a clear blue sky, it was in the 80's, and I thought "It just doesn't get better than this." Afterwards my friend made me and a few other of my coworkers dinner, and we had a GREAT MEAL and laughed the entire time. I am back home, sneezing up a storm. I can't breathe, but I am smiling. I have a bit of color, and I am once again grounded by my work in the garden and gratified by my using the earth an

Dichotomy of Spring

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Spring is here. The violets have disappeared as mysteriously as they appeared. Come to think of it, I have never seen a dead or brown violet, never found little brown corpses slumped over their green heart shaped leaves. Nor have I ever seen a bird die and fall out of the sky while in flight. The mysteries of nature. The daffodils are little brown paper wisps, and the dandelions have turned into little puff balls in my yard. The wild iris are starting to open, while the lily of the valley are still tight in their buds holding onto their scent for yet another few days. Forget-me-nots still embrace the Buddha, and Larry won't mow the lawn where they grow. I love the garden at this time of year, in its youthful green and new growth. However I have been suffering horridly from the pollen of spring. I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep. I lay awake for hours while snippets of dreams and thoughts course through my brains for hours. My ex comes to me in a dream, I slash him with a broken glas

Still Thinking of the Soldiers

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I raced to the grocery store after work to buy some food so that I could make dinner for Megan, her friend Sunshine, and Alanna of course. We had a lovely dinner, just us girls, nice organic salad, pasta and sauce, garlic bread and dark chocolate KLONDIKE BARS!!!! Oh and a nice bottle of red wine. Megan's boyfriend Dole is in the desert of California where it is 114 degrees, in training for his future deployment to Iraq. Sunshine, a sweet 19 year old friend of Dole's and Megan's...is also alone. Her fiance was deployed in early April. They got married by the Justice of the Peace before he left, and plan a "real" wedding at the Mohonk Mountain House (for the 10th time---one of my favorite places in the universe...) when he comes back. I looked at these two young girls..so in love with their men, and so lonely without them. I of course, being hardened with time and VERY independent, told them that they will live, and to enjoy their lives without the men around

360

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I rarely have a morning like this, but I was so miserable while trying to get my act together to go to work. I could not find a thing to wear that suited my mood, I hated my hair, slammed it up in a quick bun, and stormed off to work. Work proved just as difficult as it seemed that many of the kids were in the same mood. Agitated, cranky, tired, lazy. After three coffees and a couple of classes under my belt, the day went a bit smoother. Then I went to Marshalls to buy some t-shirts and summer shirts as yet ANOTHER one of my bags that contained my summer clothes has disappeared!!! (two years in a row that this has happened!!!!!) and came home aggrevated because out 16 or more shirts I tried on (and I had to pour through 1000s to find these) only 1 of them was right. You know the gig---too short, too tight, too big, too itchy. We just want to look 30 again and it is getting harder and harder to find clothes that help. But the evening ended nicely as Larry and I went to hear assem

Erupting

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I have not been in the mood to write much. Lots to say, no energy to say it. I was severely hormonally challenged this weekend and feel like the volcano in this picture. I REALLY REALLY wish I had a little cabin in the woods, where at times like these, I could tuck myself away for a few days, with some food, my paints, a few books and my Ipod of course. Sort of like when Lon Chaney was locked up as he was turning into the wolf man!!! I did spend a lot of time working on my computer doing maintenance, and getting small projects done on the house. It took me hours to get 3 gb of hard drive space back, and I had to delete a lot of file and programs to do it! We have torn all the wallpaper off the kitchen walls, and it is a slow process to wipe the excess paste off, wash the walls and woodwork down. When we moved the fridge and stove I was appalled how much dust and dirt there was under them! So the floors had to get scrubbed down too. There is the spackling, priming, and then pain

Beautiful Light

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This is the third of the card designs that I have of Rob's. Even though it is a scene with cursed SNOW, it is so beautiful that I did not mind posting it. I saw a similar view tonight as I crossed the Hudson River. The clouds were a dark blue ahead of me over the river and east banks, while the sun was setting behind me, casting brilliant light over the trees which glowed a rich full Crayola green against the navy sky. I kicked myself again for not having the camera. I have been too preoccupied with other things in my life these days to remember much of anything except to take my ipod where ever I go.... I joke about how much I love my ipod. In fact, Alanna said to Larry "don't touch Mimi's IPOD!! It is the mini transporter that provides me with amazing amounts of music and moods where ever I go. I listen to music in order to quiet the perseverating thoughts and conversations that run ceaslessly in my hyperactive mind...I get too far in sometimes and the music

Quick Morning Muse

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Allergies are really kicking my ass. I got home late, Alanna got dropped off for the night, and after I got her to sleep at a late 9:30, I was unable to do much more than go to bed. Combine allergies with the fact that I am up awake these days as soon as the first bird sings..... This is another one of Rob's cards and paintings. I love it.....the day lilies calling of hot days and swimming and the summer off. I can't wait. Off to school. Yearbook is still not done, I have an art show for at our local community college and have to deliver the student's art by 4 PM, then to meet Jay at the Cafe in High Falls to pay him for my Bob Dylan tickets, then to Rhinebeck for my hair cut AND you KNOW Lois and I are heading out for a drink and a bite to eat at the end of a busy week. My therapist is also back from a four month hiatis in the hospital...she nearly died and I am so glad that all is well. I am sure I will twist her head around a bit with what the last four months in

Wild Blossoms

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I was supposed to go plein air painting with Rob after school, but nature did not cooperate. We had to call off our original plan, but I took a trip down to see him and the new paintings he has done in spite of his being quite ill. Comfortably tucked deep in his old soft leather chair, I was surrounded by canvases that were heavily textured with white and pink blossoms. I gazed upon fields of apple blossoms that were full of light and life. I am sure the blossoms are gone now, especially with the heavy rains that passed through, but I got to experience them through his eyes. Tonight's photo is one of the three cards he has had printed up that I will be carrying on my eBay site, or directly through me. It is titled "Wild Blossoms". I will post the other two on another blog. He is having a show at the ASK Gallery in July in coordination with the Sculpture Biennial in Kingston, so those of you who are local should come down to see his work at that first saturday openin

Skeletons in my Closet

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Now you REALLY think I am going to tell you about the skeletons in my closet? I am sure I have let a few out over the past year or so that I have written this blog. But I know you won't sleep unless I give you just one......BUT at the moment, I can't think of one story that would be appropriate. Add some more to the post retirement blog. (I will be taking sign ups for that soon...) What I CAN tell you is that the photo of these skulls is from 1918, and was taken in Oahu Hawaii. Information about burial rituals of native Hawaiians can be found on this Hawaiian site The spirit resided in the bones, and there were different methods used to return the bones to the ground which enabled the spirit to depart, thus completing the cycle of life/death. This is one of the photos I have been listing on Ebay. It has been a long time since I have done any listing, but this lot of goods REALLY interested me and it has been fun putting out some rare historic photos into the world. I decid

Two Lips

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An appropriate card for the season. Tulips, two lips, ah it is spring and either kind is a good thing to have. I am close to ending this long day of work and dealing with family illness and issues, and am thinking that a nice warm bath will loosen all the jams in my head and the stress in my body. I need to recharge and I look forward to another evening of a deep sleep. I travel far in my dreams and go on great adventures. I look forward to these journeys and often feel like I live another life when I sleep. I believe anything is possible and these epic tales and travels are just another part of me, in another space or plane. The really strange part is when they cross over into my waking life and vica versa. Sort of like living in a constant state of deja vu. I am sure some of you are shaking your head wondering what the hell I am talking about. She must have gotten into the wine again you think..are they REALLY morels that she is eating? Well never mind, it is just the ramblings of a

With All My Heart

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With all my heart I love you and promise not to judge your actions and decisions which I may not understand nor agree with, but accept them as part of your journey, not mine. With all my heart I give you all that is possible but I will not enable you in behaviors that could hurt you, because I love you so. With all my heart I will remember what it is like to be young and laugh and embrace your youthful antics and keep them dear to my heart. With all my heart I love you and yours and am glad that I got a second chance to be the mother I always wanted to be. To Megan on Mother's Day xxxmom

The Garden of Distraction

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Beethoven's Fur Elise (sorry, I don't know how to put the umlauts in over the u in fur) is playing on WHMT. I smile for a moment, remembering how I tried to play that piece over and over again on my father's piano. My mother never complained, though I suspect she may have been in some sort of altered state and did not hear me. My father, who was the authoritarian in the house, would never give me lessons, and my parents spent their life ignoring their eldest child's talents, passions, and dreams..... By that being said, I am lucky that I have several avenues in which to sublimate my anxiety, my sorrow, and my frustrations. My first choice is always my studio, but a close second is working in my yard, making installation art with my gardens and sculptural pieces. I spent a good part of the afternoon in the warm spring sun weeding and mulching different parts of my gardens. I have many small gardens which meander through my small city lot. Many house a sculpture within, a

Foot Trauma Part Deux

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It is a few months short of two years since I had major surgery to repair my broken tibia, fibia, and some other bone that I pulverised in a fall. I was traumatized by the entire experience. The fall, the crunch, unbelievable pain, swelling, emergency room docs, needles, morphine, setting the bones, casting, and surgery three days later. Waking up twice during surgery. The insane pain for months. At my last doc's appointment she said, "whatever you do, don't get in ingrown nail." NO PROBLEM I thought, never had one, never will. NOT. About a month ago I experienced a very painful infection, and today, I had to deal with minor surgery to remove part of the nail and dig out all kinds of debris which was in my foot post infection. My foot is still numb. They shot me with so much Novocaine that I can't feel half of my leg. I am limping, and this is all too reminiscent of a my prior trauma. I had agita most of the day over this, the docs gave me a 2 mg Valium which was

Black Book (Zwartboek)

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I had plans tonight to meet a good friend whom I used to work with. At 4 we met in Rhinebeck, and being a lovely spring afternoon we sat outside at what was once the Starr Bar (not sure what it is called now...the Rhinebeck Cantina?) Drinks, light dinner, great conversation and many laughs made it a delightful relaxing time. There was a man behind us who was very loud, and a bit of a braggert about his involvement in the art world and with some woman who worked at a hospital and I could hear snatches of his conversation...."she does it for money, she won't do it for free" (sing?) and the last part was garbled so I could not determine if he SLEPT with her or SCHLEPPED with her. All of a sudden I started laughing so hard that the tears were rolling down my face. My back was to the man, so hopefully he did not see, and I think he was too involved with himself to even notice. I dragged my friend out of there before I made a complete ass of myself. Besides, it was time fo

Shrubbery

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I am getting a bit punchy right now. I just posted a rather intense Meganaid blog and I don't have much left. Don't ask why all of a sudden I thought about Monty Python and the Holy Grail, where the Knights of Ni want Shrubbery. (you have to know the movie to understand this drivel...)SHRUBBERY in that high pitched accented voice. SHRUBBERY. I just ripped out all my shrubbery (for your information) in the front of my house. It looks rather naked now, but the shrubbery was overtaking my modest home. I will find some less imposing plants, and am done with the shrubbery for now. Tonight's vegetation is a photo I took of a dock in Mystic CT quite a while back. The film sat buried in my car for years and got rather grainy. I quite like it. No photoshop in this photo! Here's to keeping your shrubbery under control, Patti

Homophobia at the Metropolitan?

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Last night I talked about my world..the secret, and often not-so-secret world of P.A. - a world where everyone is accepted for who they are. This world does not see skin color, religion, or sexual preference. This world is also my reality. Sadly, this is not the reality of mankind. We pride ourselves on our freedoms, yet live with intolerance, violence, and hate. Sadly, one of the biggest institutions in the arts, the Metropolitan Museum of art, is perpetuating an air of homophobia by choosing to ignore any mention of the the role of homosexuality in Ancient Greek culture, even when the artifacts that reside in the new Greek and Roman galleries graphically depicts it. Yet it is my understanding that heterosexual acts are discussed in the descriptive text on the walls and artwork, but the other side of human sexuality- homosexuality, is ignored. This is a sin of omission - to leave out such an important part of culture and history. Shame on the curators of such a world renown institutio

The Secret life of Ms. P.A.

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I started writing a blog about the process of being middle aged and stumbling upon all kinds of amazing discoveries about life and one's self. It got rather thick and sticky and even a tad bit maudlin. So I stopped writing, went out to the studio, and sat down with the FULL intention of making more cards for my client who is my BEST customer ever. As usual, I got sidetracked, and began making bricolages. Paraphrased from my favorite online dictionary ...Bricolage is art made from existing materials.. a bricoleur is person who makes bricolages, and is creative and resourceful: a person who collects information and things and then puts them together in a way that they were not originally designed to do." So, into the surreal and twisted world of P.A. we go, down, down, down till you can't get any lower, where every word has a double meaning, children have dog heads and crickets ride on the backs of mice. As I dig in the detritus in my studio, words from an antique child

Concerts, Royalty and Old Friends

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This is a great photo which I have listed on ebay. A pic of the Prince of Wales who became King Edward VIII who had to abdicate the throne in order to marry his love, divorcee Wallis Simpson. If you enjoy biographies, Wallis and Edward: Letters 1931-1937, is a good read about their love affair and relationship. I have been fascinated by royalty and have read assorted biographies over the years. Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, ET. AL. I recently finished one on Jenny Churchill, Winston's mother. This photo is interesting as it shows the Prince in a canoe on Waikiki Beach, Honolulu Hawaii, in 1920, and he is surrounded by a few photographers trying to get THE photo. This photographer got a great shot. Last night's concert at the Bearsville Theater was fabulous. Dar Williams is a lively and fantastic performer who serenaded us for almost 3 hours. She did an acoustic set alone on stage for the first part, then bought out her band for the second set. They were both filming and recording th

Back in the Garden

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A quick blog as I am getting ready to get into my concert gear and head up to Woodstock. Going to Woodstock is a trip. You never know who you might run into at the Theater, or in town for that matter. I love dressing up..it keeps people wondering..who might THAT be? I think it is a leather night....and I think I am going to keep it all black. Or jeans and black. I don't get to go out for an evening of music often, so I like to make it as fun as possible. Tonight Dar Williams is doing another evening of a concert and a live recording. I am looking forward to the partying and going to a venue which is really really cool. Off to dress, and will report back tomorrow. Oh, and my fabulous pedestal in my garden, needing to be leveled and have some sculpture or plant grace it soon. till the morning, Patti

On Being Mary Poppins

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"Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking." --Mary Poppins. I was in the bathroom at my sister's house doing my routine of massaging in my face lotion, brushing my long hair, applying the little bit of makeup that I wear...and suddenly I felt very sad. I put down my brush and stared off into space in the tiny bathroom thinking about Mary Poppins, and how I felt like I have been popping in and out of people's lives, fixing things, making people laugh, nursing them back to health, loving them, making magic, and then leaving. I cried a few tears thinking about new life and how death lurks near, about illness and health, and how I have tried to make things better and how love has given me strength, joy, and wisdom. I wondered how Mary Poppins felt when she had to leave the people who's lives she had touched and changed? I had come to my sister's house, befriended her animals, had a wonderful time with her 12 and 2 year old, kept u

House Aunt

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I cannot call myself a house wife as I don't have a husband here, so I guess house aunt will be good enough. I have transported Helena to her events and practices, made sure the animals are fed and happy, kept the sink and dishwasher empty, and the floor swept of the days detritus. I have enjoyed spending time with my 12 year old neice, going out to dinner, playing scrabble, talking, reminiscing about the folk art Halloween doll that I sent to the girls a few years ago that gave Helena nightmares. Peter had to take it to his office as it scared the bejeezus out of Helena, and my sister said "I am NOT giving my children that doll!" It became Peter's office mascot as the adults thought it was really cool, and when I gave Helena a little gift of a fairy when I arrived, she looked at it and breathed a sigh of relief and said, "ah, at least she is not scary". I have spent some time driving around the town, pleased as punch that I have not been nervous nor got

Seven Deadly Facts

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FIRST OF ALL I AM AN AUNT for the THIRD time today. My sister gave birth to Alex, at 8 lbs 10 oz. They are both amazing! Well this is a first. Amber Dawn, a good internet artist friend of mine tagged me. I have never been tagged, but I guess I am supposed to follow the rules of the game. So here are the rules, several of you that I have links on my blog to, will be tagged, but I don't have 7 people to pass this too I like to play games, and hope that those whom I tag will play along. Let me know if you do, as I LOVE to learn about friends. Here are the rules…. each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog! Now this is really hard for me as I have lots of interesting

On Losing a Phobia

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I will post a picture tomorrow as it is late, I am on an APPLE, I don't have all my gear out to try and figure it out. But being that I have a bit of spare time on my hands tomorrow, I will figure it out. Just what I love, another challenge. After a CRAZY busy day at work, I hopped in my car, gassed up (where I saw my long lost son--that is for another story-I have so many of them) and headed south to Pelham. Perfect journey save for a bit of rush hour traffic on the Hutchison River Parkway (which heads into NYC). Not a stomach ache, not a worry. Not a care. I wondered, what happened to the anxiety and phobia I have had for the past 40 years about traveling? Why did it disappear? I know when, but why? For years I have been crippled by it, causing me to not go places on my own, especially strange places I have never been to. Perhaps it came out of the desperation of needing to escape last month, and my booking a flight across country and not thinking about it. Is it because a