Which Path to Take....
Lately I have been pondering my future. I have been teaching for 19 years, and am fantasising about when I can retire and reinvent myself. I sense that this reinvention will be a synthesis of art/writing/teaching, and I have been told over and over that I need to start pulling my work together in a series.My ADD head steers me in many directions, and I fear that the only way I can do this is by making many series of works.
My themes are varied, and include landscapes in oil and encaustic, and narrative mixed media works. But wait, I've got fantasy, social, historical and auto-biographical narrative themes. Which theme do I explore, which medium? What am I best at? What does the public gravitate toward? Do I care what the public likes? What do I love to do most? By taking more than one path am I sacrificing quality? Did Picasso ponder this, or did he just follow his heart and make what he wanted?
While writing this, I become overwhelmed and meditate for 15 minutes, which is a practice I have been indulging in when I feel stressed. It helps, though I sometimes wonder if the state I feel myself get into is called "nodding out".
I received an email from a friend, which whispers... "challenge" in my head -the guidelines and application form for a NYFA (NY Federation of the Arts) program which helps artists set goals/plan/market their art. Only 25 lucky winners will get to do this series of workshops.
I don't do well with odds like that. I lost out on quite a few shows that had odds like that. Yet is whispers DARE TO DO IT...and the form sits in front of my by my computer. Teasing. Taunting. Beckoning. I only have the time to do it at stake here....
This could be IT. The motivation, the impetus, the magic.
I wonder what my notes from the Universe will tell me tomorrow. I wonder if there is an answer in the fortune cooking on the kitchen counter. I wonder if I will have a sign through a dream, or even better yet, a meditation.
I wonder...which path to take.