No Joke

For the past 10 days I have been going through IRS hell. As someone told me, "the IRS is an organization which can strike terror in the hearts of a person with only one weapon - a letter."

I got a letter basically saying:  I made income that I not report to us in the year 2009, blah blah blah with lots of things about payment plans, interest, etc.

When I first saw the word "dividends"  I thought "oh shit, that 35.00 dividend that I may have not reported has come to bite me in the ass".   When I looked at the form that the IRS was referring to, it was for a staggering amount.  185,775.00.  When I asked an investment banker how much was invested to earn this dividend, he answered: "oh, about 20-30 million"

To keep it short  I made many phone calls to the IRS, to banks in NYC and found out that my social security number is the same as the EIN of one of the largest corporate investment banks in the world.  The only thing that keeps me from my millions is where the dash in the number is put.

I am one dash away from being one of the wealthiest women in the world.  But it is also a dash that can make my life hell if it doesn't get fixed.  And let's face it, with the signals emanating from all of my high tech toys, the IRS can find me anytime I have my Droid or iPad on, snatch me up, and put me in jail, where I will have to paint portraits for them using cigarette ash, cement scrapings, and urine, till my debt is paid.  

The IRS has assured me that they understand the circumstances and will be pursuing the right party. The @#@#  Bank in NY has told me that I need to find out who electronically submitted this information to the IRS so that it can be fixed. Otherwise same time next year I will be going through this all over again.

Do they have computers in jail?

Patti O Criminal

Tonight's still life painting which I am struggling with should be titled "Got Wood?"

Comments

Andrea said…
Oh, Patti, I'm sorry you're having IRS troubles, but the way you tell it is really making me laugh!

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