Driving under the Influence.

It was the usual, busy week. And, as usual, not much of it involved art, which HAS to change as I need to paint.  I see the images, and boards and canvases and feel the consistency of the paint somewhere deep in my brain where paintings  are churned out in automation, and it needs to leave the brain through my arm and into a paintbrush and onto SOME kind of surface SOON, before I lose momentum.

And somewhere deep within my body are channels that are very jammed up - thus my back/hip pain,intestinal distresses, mixed with nightly sweats that wake me up at 4 am. which was the reason for a visit to my naturopath for an appointment and  accupuncture on wednesday.

Though I am doctor and needle phobic, going to this doctor is enjoyable. Issues are evaluated, and homeopathic/natural methods are used to adjust and heal the body.  The office visit concludes with accupuncture in a healing space.  Tammi was treating several issues,  one of the being my insomnia.  With 12-15 needles in my neck, stomach, and legs, she told me I was going to "go out", and I proceeded -- to my surprise--falling into a deep sleep for 1/2 an hour.

On the way home I was very mellow.  I felt like I was somewhere else. It was warm, sunny, and I felt good for once.  I took the back road to avoid the highway construction.  The flats along which the farms rolled along were beautiful with the dark earth just waiting to be turned over.  I was enjoying this quiet scenic ride home, feeling light, mellow, and I felt very aware of the essense of spring and renewal.

Until I saw the red flashing lights. I pulled over, thinking that he wanted to pass me.  Oh no! He wanted ME.  I rolled down the window, and asked nicely "offficer, may I ask what I did?". He looked at me with a sheepish grin and said: "you were doing 62 in a 45.".  "I WAS?!?".  I knew I was coming close to a school zone and had to slow down, which I did, but never knew what speed I was traveling when he pulled me over.  How could I explain to him that I was under the influence of accupuncture and had no CLUE how fast I was going on that straightaway.  He told me that because I had a clean record that he was ask the judge to ACD it. That's all well and good, but if I do anything wrong in the next six months, they will slam me!!!  It's better than nothing, but I am going to try for better.

I was very upset. My pristine record could be besmirched with a ticket speeding more than 15 mph over the speed limit.  I could be labeled as A SPEEDER.  And once the insurance company gets a hold of that, OH BOY, LET'S RAISE THE RATES even though I have not used my insurance in 25 years.

After some facebook consultation with people in the "field", I am pleading not guilty - how can I plead guilty if I did not know how fast I was going, and besides, perhaps his radar is off !  In the meantime, I have a call into some friends, am lighting candles for the judge to be kind and merciful, drop it to a lesser violation,  give me the fine, which I heard, is a minimum of 85.00 for JUST walking INTO the courtroom.  A friend of mine had a bad inspection sticker...THAT WAS 300.00!!

So lesson learned.  If it isn't raining, I will use my cruise control while driving home from accupuncture.  And I wonder what this next court adventure will be..stay tuned in for the next segment on this!!

Patti O Criminal

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