While Cleaning out my Purse

While cleaning out an old purse, I found this poem that I wrote as my mother was dying, and my daughter was about to give birth to her post cancer treatment "miracle baby".  I was planning to drive    to Tennessee to help her for a week with Larry, as my mother lay in critical condition.  The Clash lyrics to  "Should I stay or should I go" were bouncing about in my tortured brain.

Before I threw it away, I thought I would share it.

Sanctuary music
it says on the tape.
A nun in the nursing home
has left it playing on my mother's radio to soothe her.

New Age music...
to calm the soul for the journey.

The angels are waiting at the gate mama.
I wish you would go and meet them.
I think you have suffered enough
for your mistakes,
and so have we.

Free yourself.
Free us.
Rest in PEACE.

As a postscript, my mother rallied.  It is a miracle she is still alive, though she never gets out of the bed in the nursing home. She seems happy enough with her second chance, watching her favorite movies and cooking shows all day long. She drank herself to a stroke 23 years ago, had brain surgery, and still lives, though I don't call her life living. But who am I to judge or question.

My daughter gave birth to a healthy baby boy who is 2 1/2 now.  She will never have any more children due to medical problems, but she has the million dollar family; a boy and a girl.  She still has her life, even going through a reoccurance of cancer, and another round of chemo and radiation.

Funny how today's FB status was: "I am grateful that I am of strong mind and body. May it always be that way...till the last painting."

Patti O


Judy Vars said…
Amen Patti,
(t's nice to catch up with you. I'm not blogging enough anymore.

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