The Truth be Told Part I

I haven't written much.  Emotions have been too raw.  I wasn't writing out of the respect and wishes of  the parties involved.  But now that the cat is out of the bag, and I am less emotional and perhaps accepting of phase two of my life, I can share, breathe, and go forward.

Many of you have followed me over the years, especially in regards to my daughter....who looks like a cross between Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts (oh so lovely lips which came from her father...not me) She served in Iraq, and well, the rest of the story is history and would make for an excellent book. Megan is a gifted writer..perhaps one day she will tell her own story.  She is a miracle child, and bore a miracle baby following her chemo, radiation, and severe pregnancy problems. She is a phoenix who has risen out of the ashes again and again.  It's not to say that she doesn't suffer from the things that have happened to her, in fact, it is quite the opposite.  But she keeps going forward, never letting anything get in her way.

Megan has been clear of cancer for the past three years.  During her remission she has been diagnosed with lupus, and had various complications from that.  Then it was discovered she had brain damage from one of her accidents.  Two weeks ago they found a spot on an x-ray in her throat.  She has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer- the kind being GIST, or gastrointestinal stromal tumor. A sarcoma of a sort.  The doctors are now questioning her previous diagnosis of leiomyosarcoma, which was done here in Kingston, but now there is no way of knowing that,  as it was a wet slide, and those can't be kept.  These two sarcomas are related, but have different treatment plans. (note to self: go straight to NYC if anything major is to befall me medically)

Bad news: inoperable. Good news: they found it before it became a death sentence.  It is small, about 1/4" in size. Most of these throat cancers are found too late. Hers was found in an incidental x-ray.  Another miracle.

She has started  her chemo, which is oral.  She is grateful for not being stuck with needles, and sitting for hours with a drip.  Four weeks into the chemo, she will be getting radiation.  Right now the side effects have been severe muscle cramping, but should subside in a day or so, till the next pill. 

Megan is in Kentucky, too far for me to cook for her and the family, to help her with the children so she can rest and do her college work.  She needs a live-in nanny.   I have many sick days, and have informed my boss that I fully intend to help her if she needs me.  Family first.  I learned that lesson a long time ago, and regret not staying home with my kids when I should have,  because I was afraid of missing work,  or that others would think less of me not showing up to the job.  (which theses days, is more like going to a war zone every day...)

So I have pulled out my brave heart and am ready to fight with her.  If she can go to college while undergoing all of this, and get an A, then I must bear this with dignity,  and save the blubbery moments for the movies.  I will also be kind to myself, and do things that give me strength, whether it be quietude (that is why many of you have sensed I have dropped off the earth) or the studio, or a visit to the gym.  And I have been cooking and feeding others as somehow that heals my heart.

The Truth Be Told- Part II or "I'm Not Going to Take it Anymore" to follow.

Patti O Tales

PS Check out those baby blues on her husband....who has a tough job working for the Army, and
having to take on a big load.....hugs to you Dole.