Monday, January 25, 2010
Other People's Moms
A phone call that rocked my world. I can't project what could happen, I have to live moment by moment. It came before I had to leave for a class tonight which made me late and deeply rattled.
Class started, the medication kicked in for the blooming stress migraine, I regained some composure, though I had no desire to share any ideas or stories. It's just that way sometimes.
It was a class on creative journaling, and one of the prompts was "Other People's Moms". I chose to write my brief memory using another prompt, "what are you doing now" during a time with that mom. (preface, she was my best friend's mom, and I talk to her still)
"We are at Ohler's Mountain Lodge in West Hurly.
It is a hot summer vacation day, 1974.
I am wearing a borrowed bikini from Wendy, but it is a bit too big on top, and it covered my breasts and then some, yet showed more of me than anyone else has seen.
If the nuns saw this, they would probably tell me I am going to hell.
Erna keeps her distance, and let's us hang with the other teens. I am shy and want to be popular like the others. I am very awkward, me with the size 2 body in a size 8 suit."
Years later my best friends brother said to me, "you had a great body but I never said anything because you were my sister's best friend".
I grinned, as I had a hard time thinking any part of me was great back in those days. I wince thinking about those times, that I had no sense or appreciation of my self on ANY level. I had such little self worth.
I loved him for saying this...and Wendy's mom for being so kind to me at a time where I craved love.
Art tonight is a portion of the art journaling I stared. I will post more when I a done.