Friday, January 01, 2010
The past several days have been incredibly busy. So busy that I have not stepped into the studio in weeks. I am getting withdrawal, and wishing I had a vacation from the vacation.
I don't want to use this as a forum for whining, and I try to be positive, but I have had to face some realities, and must learn how to deal with them. This year I have decided that "realizations" are more beneficial than "resolutions" as they mean I am thinking and reflecting, and desiring change. Or perhaps the reality is they are one in the same...
Some things I have reflected on about myself and need to resolve are the following:
1) I don't like entertaining. I love to hang with people, (sometimes) but hate the prep that it takes to make it happen. If I had a magic wand and could have someone clean and cook and then clean up the mess, it would take a lot of the pressure off me and I might actually enjoy it.
2) I no longer like to cook. Somewhere along the line I ran out of juice. I am a good cook who lost her creativity except when it comes to soup. I'd rather be in the studio.
3) I am a messy person. It cost me a relationship (OK one of the reasons) and it makes doing #1 much more difficult. I don't like coming home to a mess as my job is a conglomeration of messes that I deal with all day, and I wish I could just come home to some order.
4) I don't like to clean. So combine with #3, no wonder it makes #1 so difficult.
5) I have problems focusing on my goals, ESPECIALLY when it comes to my art. I am trying to get rid of the detritus that keeps me unfocused....
6) I am frustrated that I can't keep up with the maintenance on my house. There is so much to do.
7) I need to get a grip on my health issues...in a natural way. I don't want to be a slave to medications, which only put stress on ones liver and kidneys, (and more) creating another whole set of problems.
7)If I had a better cash flow, then I could probably hire people to do #1, organize so that #3 would not be an issue, ease up #4, and help out on 6 AND 7.
I have to prioritize. I suspect I have to focus on #7, as if I don't have my health, I can't do #1-6 anyway.
It's a huge undertaking to solve all of the above, but I am convinced that I can do it.
I am selling lots of my collectibles and such on Etsy and Ebay. I no longer have the desire to collect unless it has a direct influence on what I am doing at the time.
I am not making any resolutions, save for doing my best to start solving some of these issues. Admitting that I need to make change is a step in the right direction, and action is necessary in order to make them happen.
Oh and there are the spiritual/meditational/excercise issues.
Can we have a 48 hour day?
To the New Year,
Photo: Holiday Greeting Card I designed. Appropriate for this blog "It's all a balance".