Realizations....

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The past several days have been incredibly busy. So busy that I have not stepped into the studio in weeks. I am getting withdrawal, and wishing I had a vacation from the vacation.

I don't want to use this as a forum for whining, and I try to be positive, but I have had to face some realities, and must learn how to deal with them. This year I have decided that "realizations" are more beneficial than "resolutions" as they mean I am thinking and reflecting, and desiring change. Or perhaps the reality is they are one in the same...

Some things I have reflected on about myself and need to resolve are the following:
1) I don't like entertaining. I love to hang with people, (sometimes) but hate the prep that it takes to make it happen. If I had a magic wand and could have someone clean and cook and then clean up the mess, it would take a lot of the pressure off me and I might actually enjoy it.

2) I no longer like to cook. Somewhere along the line I ran out of juice. I am a good cook who lost her creativity except when it comes to soup. I'd rather be in the studio.

3) I am a messy person. It cost me a relationship (OK one of the reasons) and it makes doing #1 much more difficult. I don't like coming home to a mess as my job is a conglomeration of messes that I deal with all day, and I wish I could just come home to some order.

4) I don't like to clean. So combine with #3, no wonder it makes #1 so difficult.

5) I have problems focusing on my goals, ESPECIALLY when it comes to my art. I am trying to get rid of the detritus that keeps me unfocused....

6) I am frustrated that I can't keep up with the maintenance on my house. There is so much to do.

7) I need to get a grip on my health issues...in a natural way. I don't want to be a slave to medications, which only put stress on ones liver and kidneys, (and more) creating another whole set of problems.

7)If I had a better cash flow, then I could probably hire people to do #1, organize so that #3 would not be an issue, ease up #4, and help out on 6 AND 7.

I have to prioritize. I suspect I have to focus on #7, as if I don't have my health, I can't do #1-6 anyway.

It's a huge undertaking to solve all of the above, but I am convinced that I can do it.
I am selling lots of my collectibles and such on Etsy and Ebay. I no longer have the desire to collect unless it has a direct influence on what I am doing at the time.

I am not making any resolutions, save for doing my best to start solving some of these issues. Admitting that I need to make change is a step in the right direction, and action is necessary in order to make them happen.

Oh and there are the spiritual/meditational/excercise issues.

Can we have a 48 hour day?

To the New Year,
Patti

Photo: Holiday Greeting Card I designed. Appropriate for this blog "It's all a balance".

Comments

Tangled Stitch said…
Happy New Year! Your realization list is a lot like my realization list. But I realize if I don't take care of me, don't take care of my home, then I will never be free enough to create art on a consistent and peaceful basis. Here's to a different set of realizations next year. Happy New Year!
4:51 PM
Shades of Scorpio said…
I could have written most of your list, Patti!!! Same here, same here....I hate having to clean constantly. and a turn on for my honey is cleanliness. So....being the scorpio that I am ...I will be baited for the carrot. Off to get my dust cloth....
Happy New Year! x0x0x0x
9:55 AM
Jools said…
The solution to all these problems is to get a man who likes to cook and do housework (however, he'll be gay, too)...just kidding (about the gay). Seriously, without an equal partnership, you might as well live alone (speaking as one who has the same complaints and similar husband). A less severe alternative is to buy my friend Laura Finestone's new book, Vision in Action: 8 Steps for Transforming Your Dreams into Reality. I edited it, so I read it 4 or 5 times--it's really good. I can't wait to do the exercises and get my life on track. You'll be getting a copy as a gift from me. We can set up a support network of people we know who are working through the book. Anyway, I totally empathize with you. And, Happy New Year!
9:08 AM
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