Insomnia

Day #4.

I need to try one of those new sleeping drugs that I have read about. The ones that just put you back to sleep when you wake up at 3 AM and can't take an Ambien because you need six more hours of sleep in order to take it.

I don't like taking sleep meds, but I also don't like days without sleeping. My edge is gone, as well as any possibility of being in the best state of mind. So, when it gets to the point of 4 days w/out sleep, I sometimes take one so that I get one solid night -and even then I sometimes wake up.

It's 3:40, and I have to be up by 7 so that I can get out of here by 9-10 in the morning and head to the Cape. I also have cramps, so that sucks in and of itself. It sucks even more that I have my period on vacation at 51, though it is better than being pregnant at 51. In fact, at this point in life, as I start to skip periods, I can be found at the counter in Walgreens, buying both Tampax and a pregnancy test. Yeah yeah, old ladies like me don't usually get pregnant, but after talking to my friends, almost all of them know someone, or have some distant (or not so distant) relative who had, or is, a "change of life" baby. Yeah, if that happened, I'd want to change my life.

So instead tonight I am trying the Ouzo that Meredith bought me back from Greece. It sort of tastes like Paragoric, a drug that my mother used to give me when I had the runs as a kid. I hated the taste of it, but I remember liking how I felt afterwards. Only recently I found out that it had opium in it - NO WONDER I liked it so much.

So here I sit, still not feelling sleepy, thinking I will down the rest of it and head back to bed for hopefully another 3 hours of sleep. I will try and empty my mind of all that has to be done when I hit the floor in the morning. I would do them now, only it would wake up Larry. Again.

So, next notes will be from Wellfleet, where I hope I get some sun, fun, and rest.

Lord knows I need it.

Patti O Insomniac

wonderful cover of the Cure's song. I just downloaded one of her CDs from iTunes, as well as another Amos Lee CD for the trip. I just love iTunes.......