Sunday, September 06, 2009

Making Amends



After a second in two days close woodchuck siting, I decided to take heed and pay attention to the fact that it could be one of my spirit guides, and they are connected to altered states of consciousness and dreams. I am on that journey, have very intense dreams, one of which I had last night.

I had the usual stress dreams about school, which I have had all summer. They are usually involve my difficult students (and some staff..) and can involved insubordination, throwing art supplies, and sometimes violence. I have to find a way to resolve this as it has caused me some anxiety and I have to put in at least another 3 years there..before I can make any major life decisions. I need to be able to work there in peace and in joy and let the craziness wash over me.

But the dream that was etched on my mind most, was a dream about two people in my life who are sick, but who came to help me out in spite of their ill-health. They had stopped by my house, and finished all the unfinished odd jobs, so that when I came home from work I had peaceful place of refuge. "What a selfless token of love and friendship" I mused as I wiped the webs of sleep from my eyes.

Flash back to August 25th, it is during the burial mass of my aunt. The priest asks us to think of those we have hurt in our family who were there, have fought with, or have bad feelings about. I sat there smugly, thinking that I had no issues with any of them, save perhaps for some political differences that had ticked me off. Easy enough to remedy. Forgive, shake hands, wish them peace, and don't discuss politics or religion.

But after waking up from this dream, I realized that there are others who I have not made peace with, others with whom there were misunderstandings, bad words, anger, hurt. And one of these came to me in a dream to help me out.

I think I will write a letter or an email, and make peace. And I will think if there are any others that I need to do that with, I will reach out. I have made peace with my heart with my father, and also with my ex, though I don't know if I will ever be able to sit with him and do it face to face. Though I have made peace in my heart, I still fear him on some level. But if I can make peace with them, I can make peace with anyone.( OK---the neighbor thing is still my brick wall and perhaps final challenge).

Off I go to write an email and make an offer of peace this Sunday morning.

Oh, and this woodchuck was yesterdays siting from my back porch. He was running to go under my house. Probably had to go to the bathroom to make room for more good garden food, hahaha. And the other photo, a shot from the car while going over the Rhinecliff Bridge. I stick it up over the windshield and shoot w/out looking. This is what I got "No Stopping on Bridge". Not yet, but someday I will!!!

Patti O Dreamer

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