Tears and Chuckles

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It is with a great sigh of relief that I am writing this blog. After two very long days, I feel like I can take a brief break to write, sleep, and start it all over again for the final day.

Amidst all of this I had another visit to the doc, getting my throat swabbed (negative for strep!) and discussion about my inner workings and their fate, as well as a lump in my hand that bears attention from a hand surgeon. I am not too fond of all of this and it made for some more stress.

I started the day in tears. I don't know if it is my hormones which are off the charts, or the pressure of the past week, and I ended the day in tears after an intensive session with my therapist.

I have buried some traumas which I thought were long forgotten, but they rear their ugly head to pop up at the most inopportune moments, forcing me to do the reveal, deal, and heal. I have skated around these issues for years, but some things have necessitated my facing it in order to move on in the last part of my life.

But there were also moments of wonderful beauty. A ride to Rhinebeck and then to Woodstock with the top down, blasting fabulous tunes to the wind - Roxy Music's Slave to Love, music by Sting, Ryan Adams, and others. I saw flocks of various birds returning to the north, heard peepers singing joyously from a pond. I had just been given a wonderful hair cut, spent time with a genius therapist, came home to find a set of gouache paints left for me by my husband. The gift of a hair ball from the cat, the kindness and love from friends.

And a laugh to balance out the tears - when I dropped by favorite lipstick in the toilet at the Health Club. I looked in dismay as my lovely lipstick in its silver case sunk to the bottom. I groaned, knowing I had no choice but to do the royal flush and pray that they had invested in one of those toilets I just bought..advertised to be able to flush a bucket of golf balls. It passed the test, and my lipstick traveled swiftly to some unknown destination. A lovely luscious dark red. But I had to laugh and will have to buy another one in Spain. I am sure they make some sexy reds.

So off to sleep, to dream, and only two more days till I am on the plane.

Patti O Confessor

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