Back in Reality Land
I have landed here in my wonderful home which Larry has lovingly cleaned for my arrival.
I am back on the "real world", catching up on four days of emails, while playing one of the two CD's that I bought at the book store. Buddhist monks and nuns chant in the background(among them Br. Phap Niem and Thich Nhat Hanh), a reminder of the retreat and of the amazing people I have met. I yearn for the mindfulness bell, and the atmosphere of the monastery.
I am wearing a t-shirt that has a simple graphic with the words "A Lotus to You", the lotus representing the progress of the soul towards enlightenment, a true symbol of my journey.
It is ironic that while opening my mail, I got a notification from my insurance company stating that I won't be covered for the last month of therapy. Some psychiatrist who has never met me has determined that my weekly meetings have not provided me with any significant improvement according to some book that they follow. I chuckle, thinking that this is the first time in my life where a therapist has done me any good, and they-who-know-so-much have NO CLUE about healing and "the journey" and how this amazing therapist has lowered the cost of their liability for my visits for stress/anxiety related illnesses. I will deal with them tomorrow.
I have many stories to tell. Some are funny. Many are amazing. All are honest.
In the Dharma group I was told to contemplate and be thankful for three things, and three people in my life. I gave thanks for my home, my job, and to the talent that the universe has granted me. I was thankful to my dear friend Karen who has been on much of this journey with me, to my mother for giving me life and nourishment, and to my husband who has been my steadfast believer.
This once never-recovered Catholic girl might have found a home.
Patti O Namaste
PS Composite photo by my dearest friend Annie, who was one of my crazy roommates, who sent me the information on this retreat in the first place.