Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dance Light as my Heart Lays Under Your Feet

The title of tonight's blog is also the title I used for my daughter's blog MEGANAID. It is a poem I found in an 1800's book, and I used it in the artwork which I posted tonight. The piece is actually called Hope for Megan; it is one of the many phrases used throughout the piece.

I finished the work, as well as the other two, and am prepared for tomorrows drop off
I am happy with it; it is intense and wrought with symbolism.

The two shells on the top were used in the Victorian era to ward off the evil eye, and the hope piece was given to me by a friend. The Milagros are Mexican symbols of hope and healing, as are the daffodils. The photograph of Megan was taken by Larry several years ago, and was used for a poem that I wrote. I used encaustics (wax) in the piece, and mounted the print on top of a CDV photo from the 1800's. The box is a damaged wood cigar box, and it is filled with antique images and text. dripped with beeswax and encaustic medium.

Two of the three pieces are not for sale -- besides, no one would buy such personal pieces. I think they are some of my strongest, and the artwork that springs from deep with in my heart and soul are the most moving.

However I have been surprised and people have bought some of these intense pieces from me because they speak to them. I have a difficult time letting such pieces go,but knowing that they have found good homes makes it easier.

I am off to bed. I have worked a 12 hour day, briefly interrupted by a brisk walk.

Till tomorrow,

patti o art work

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Difficult Conversations

I am typing from my laptop as my desktop is in big trouble. Ordered the portable hard drive, and when I am not working all the time, I will take the back off my computer and see if my fan is malfunctioning. That would be a relatively easy fix. If it isn't, I will check to see if it is dirty inside, give a spray of canned air, and if it is still malfunctioning and giving me the black screen of death and safe mode, then I know soon it will soon have to be laid to rest. In the meantime, I need to get my files off it!

I have this great headset which I wear when I talk on the phone while I am working in the studio. It is hands free, the receiver clips onto my pants or fits neatly in my pocket, and is one of the best investments I have made. The battery on it goes forever, which can be a disadvantage at times as I don't have the excuse that the phone is dying, and I fade into the air waves. (I have a phone that gives 3 warning beeps and then I am gone...)

Yesterday I had a lot of work to do, and I was alone all evening, so I called my aunt. I am usually prepared for a long conversation with her, thus the headset.
One thing led to another, and soon the discussion about why wait to buy a nice car lead to events surrounding the death of my father at an age younger than I, some 31 years ago.

In May of my second semester at college, right around finals time, my father developed stomach problems and started feeling horrid. The family doc did all kinds of tests, finding nothing. Because my family was connected to people in NY, he traveled down to the city for more tests, which promptly confirmed that his body was riddled with cancer. Doctors suspect that the swine flu shot of 1976 had something to do with his condition. My research cannot confirm this.

The doctors got him well enough to leave the hospital after a month so he could come home for Father's day. By mid July he was dead.

I did spent time with him that last month, where we would sit around the dinner table and pretend nothing was wrong. No one told him he had cancer and was going to die...the decisions of family and doctors. It robbed us of being able to come to terms with some of what had gone wrong within our "perfect little family", possibly forgive, and maybe, just maybe, to love.

His death was traumatic to me. Hearing details I never knew bought back all those old feelings of loss, anger, sadness,and guilt. Thirty years later I still can't talk about it without falling apart. I have never been to his grave.

A year ago my 23 year old daughter was diagnosed with LMS a rare and deadly form of cancer. I worked hard to heal all of our wounds, and have a fabulous relationship with her. Perhaps the pain of the past had a purpose...and I have made things right in the present with her, and in some ways, with him.

This Saturday, ironically, is the opening of the art show at BSP in Kingston called "Touched by Cancer". I have three pieces in the show. One on the death of my father, one of the illness of my daughter, and one on the hope of healing. I will post the invite later in the week.

Oh, and after the phone call ended (thank God she had to go to the bathroom!) I called her sister, my other aunt, and ended the evening with a delightful conversation about books and movies. She too has cancer, bone cancer, but has survived it thus far. Though partially invalided, her Irish will is strong, she maintains a positive attitude, and uses her wheel chair to navigate the city streets and to help support her while she shops. (she won't sit in it, she claims it is better than a walker, and holds a bunch of stuff!!)

Patti o Survivor

ps a detail of the piece I am doing on Megan...encaustic/mixed media assemblage.

Crash of the Titan

I have been having horrid computer problems, but so has Google/blogger. I was unable to access blogger from my home computer which keeps crashing, nor from my laptop which is just fine.

I am sending off for a 350 gig portable hard drive from H and M in NYC today so that in the event it totally crashes, which it is about to, I have all of my files. I have many of them on DVDs already, but not all. I am barely able to do this without it crashing or doing things I have never seen before happen on a computer. I think it has run out of memory, as one of the hard drives is only 15 gig...the one that I am running all my programs from, and it may be the power pack too.

IMAC here we come this time around. Too bad it is happening at a bad time when I am looking for a car and don't need to foot the bill of a computer and new programs that I will have to buy for the MAC.

Off to work. I had lots to tell, but will have to wait on that as shower time draws frighteningly near.

Patti O Crasher

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Why I MUST Have a Sunroof or Convertible

I spent all day yesterday test driving cars. I started out with the most divine car, the VW Eos. A hardtop convertible WITH a sunroof, and no pillars between the front and back seat windows. Pure unostructed camera views. It had the best seats and lumbar support I have found yet in a car, and it was just plain fun to drive.

I then went to the GTI--a fun spunky car that I took out in a standard but was overpriced it seemed for what it was, and then a Jetta.

I was disappointed in the plastic and controls inside the Jetta and GTI. It was just not the luxury that I am looking for in a car. I will take out the Passat next time, and the EOS again for a longer ride.

I still have the Acura TSX, and the Mini Cooper to test. That is a bit harder as I have to travel further to find a dealer. I am not sure if the Audi is a financial option, unless I find a good used one.

My head is spinning from all the stats, the research, etc. that I am doing. But I do know that it MUST have a sunroof, rockin' stereo, and fabulous seats for my back and hips, and like when I bought my house, and found my man, I am hoping that after all this research, I will know when I find THE CAR.

I also thought what fun it must be to be someone who test drives cars and writes reviews for a side job. Some of the people who test drive these cars drive all around the California coast in them, or in Greece and other exotic environs. Yumm. I would write it from the middle aged woman standpoint, who has been through her share of mini vans and practical vehicles most of her life, and is looking for a little excitement in her the form of a car.

Tonight's photo was taken out of my CRV of the many photos I have shot while on the road.

Patti O Roadster

Saturday, April 26, 2008

On Beaver Pond

Beaver Pond
Cody fetches a stick
Bardet and I
Bardet and Karen.

Yesterday I felt terrible, so I called in sick. It was on a Conference day, and I was not about to sit and listen to lectures with a splitting headache. I have weathered going to work and being there for kids for 2 weeks now, and decided I needed a day to take care of myself.

Of course taking care of myself meant sleeping in, swallowing several Tylenol, breaking down and taking a Claritin, and drinking hot tea and ciders. After I felt I could go on with my day, I focused on taking care of art business.

I finished the second of three pieces for a show which are due by Thursday, and I finally managed to submit photos of my paintings and mixed media work for another show in September. I don't know if I will be juried in, but as they say, you can't win if you don't play. My life has been so centered around my job and this horrid In Design class, and I have had to push everything else aside.

I ended the day with a three mile walk along the rail trail with my two closest of friends. Bardet is here for a few days from Sausalito, so I snatched her up for a mellow adventure along the ancient track beds which are used by runners, dog walkers, and bikers. The trail is a short walk through the woods from Karen's house.

I am blessed to have such wonderful friends, even if I only see some of them a few times a year. I cannot imagine my life without them. There are no pretenses, no jealousies, just pure love and caring that I have found mostly only in women in my life. I am lucky that I have that in my marriage too, but if it weren't for my women friends, I think I would be in deep trouble.

Our walk was about 3 miles, and we took Cody along with us. He loves to swim in all the little ponds and streams that run along the walk, though some of them are pretty gross, and when he shakes himself off we are showered in stinky scummy water, lol. I am still marvel that this entire pond was made by the fortitude and instinct of such little animals. It inspires me.

The end of the day was a trip to Lowes where I found out that my little garden plan won't work...and those fences they sell that are faux iron ...will fall apart and rust in one season. So I will do raised beds and figure out how to keep the deer and other critters out without ugly fencing marring my yard and causing whispers among my neighbors. I live in a upper middle class neighborhood where many of the people still continue to spray their lawns with chemicals. Any suggestions or photographs of how you solve this problem are welcomed!

Off to start my Saturday jaunt....and adventures!

Cheerio Pattio!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

More Lessons Learned

A big part of my life recently has been learning about what I DON'T want to do in or with my life.

For example, as I have discussed, I don't want to be a graphic designer. I will design cards for friends, and use Photoshop, Illustrator, and In Design for my own needs and as necessary in the classroom, but unless you are really a good friend of mine or have something wonderful to trade, no go baby.

I have also lost all desire to continue my education to get my doctorate. I was encouraged by a few people, but for what end? I have no desire to go back to school and give up huge chunks of my life for another degree. I would rather take the classes I like, learn about what I am interested in, and leave it at that. I am SURE that a doctorate will involve classes that I will not like, much like some of my undergraduate and graduate classes. I want to get a PP degree..Patti's Passions degree, dictated only by my interests and curiosities.

One of the classes I am dying to take is to take a class offered by the National Weather Service to be one of those people who measure wind, rain amounts, snowfalls, etc. I know in my past life I was a meteorologist, and have a desire to get back in touch with that small obsession that I have. Plus, perhaps I could win the pot in the school snow pool for the first snow day, hahaha.

I am also struggling with my greeting card business and fine art work. The more I learn, the more I think I don't have the time to design a body of work for shows and cards. Even if I get into licensing, I need to be producing continuously, not just come up with a winning design or two. For now I am satisfied with designing for the few clients I have making one of a kind cards, and entering a show here and there that piques my interest. I can only do what I can do, and I can't live up to the pressure that I put upon myself anymore.

Perhaps things will change when I retire, or when the next universal shift occurs. Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls at you. What was once an option becomes a necessity, or the other way around.

I keep my eyes, heart, and mind open, go with the ebb and flow of life, and learn the lesson that exists in each and every day that I live.

And it is all good.

Patti O Wisdom

PS another photo shot from my car while of my fave things to do

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I have had a very full two days, thus my being absent for a day or two.

Today I had to take 1/2 day off for a few appointments, and somehow in between them I managed to sit down in the sun with a few magazines and just relax and turn one shade darker than pale. I have a pile of magazines that have been unread for the past year, (or more..)and in fact, I did not even know what lay between the covers of one of the trade magazines which I was receiving.

At the end of the day I headed up to artist Melissa Harris's studio to buy some inspirational gifts for my girls who are graduating this year. Melissa is an a very special amazing artist and woman, and I always feel gifted when I spent time with her, whether in one of her workshops, or just chatting about life. Check out her line of greeting cards, candles, sketchbooks etc., and had over to her fine art gallery. She is hosting a workshop this weekend, and there may be space left, so contact her if you are feeling the urge for a wonderful art adventure in the Catskills. She has been one of my inspirations in my art and life journey.

Tonight's photos is of Lois and I in the Benz. I have not recovered from that night out gadding about the county. My eyes are still itching, and I have had a sinus headache for days. I bought some saline nasal spray in hopes that it will help me some. I hate to use the cortisone based sprays, and this is a hell of a lot cheaper and safer, and that was on the advice from my nurse practitioner Lynne, another amazing woman in my life. Oh and a PS..the gall bladder is fine, no stones, but she said that I could have "sludge" which doesn't always show up on a sonogram. My blood work was perfect, my cholesterol 163- that of an adolescent boy, and my thyroid and hormone levels are great. So I am keeping a food diary, and so far have isolated onions as one of the evil doers. I would much rather go Au natural with diet and supplements in my preventative and curative medicine than to be pumped up with all kinds of drugs!

Off to read more of Inez of My Soul. It is one of Allende's more difficult reads, especially when you read it in bits and pieces the way I have been. Still she is a fabulous writer, and I am enjoying the story. I just keep getting some of the characters mixed up. Or maybe it is just because at 11 at night my brain is fried?

Patti O Sunbather

Monday, April 21, 2008

Lessons Learned

Lovely spring day here in the Hudson Valley.

Lois snatched her friend's Mercedes convertible and we went for a late afternoon cruise to Woodstock for a light dinner at the Bear Cafe, one of my fave places in Ulster County.

After our delectable appetizers we drove through the back roads to Saugerties, then down to Kingston along the waterfront on the Rondout Creek.

By the time we arrive downtown, my eyes are dry, I am rubbing them incessantly wanting to rip out my contacts. I look in the mirror, and whatever makeup I have not rubbed off lies underneath my eyes. I cannot breathe through my nose. Great.

We have a drink, and a liquor salesman named Peanut starts to chat with us. He wants to know what we do, and we tell him. He does not believe us. We ask him what he does and he says he is a prostitute. I tell him that he had better change his name as no one will hire a man named Peanut. We laugh. After he realizes he won't get far with us, he leaves, presumably on his Harley.

At dusk it is too cool to put the top down, but the car's roof is nearly all glass, so I still feel like I am part of the great outdoors sans allergans. By the time I get home I am miserable. I take out my lenses, they seem to abrade my eyeballs. I try and blow my nose, but only squeaks and honks seem to come out.

I sigh, and figure that I am just not meant to have a convertible, and muse about a trip to an allergist, but still smile feeling the sun on my face, and the purr of the engine under my red leather seat, and don't care that I can't breathe. After all, tomorrow is another day.

But until I find a good doctor or cure, I am going for a car with filtered air!

Patti O Wheezer

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Canary in a Coal Mine

I don't know if these are canaries, but I found it in my paper collection, and I flashed back to another time. It is from a late 1800's book, and it seemed the appropriate picture for spring and for tonight's thoughts.

The phrase Canary in a Coal Mine refers to the use of canaries to check the quality of the air in coal mines. If the canary was singing, the air was free of methane gas. If the bird meant it was dead and you had better get the hell out of there.

My mother's grandfather came over from Lithuania with his young wife and settled in Brooklyn, where he raised canaries for a living--I hope they were put to better uses than for coal mining. I suspect so as Brooklyn is far from any coal mines that I am aware of.

My family lived in Brooklyn for nearly 100 years. It came to an end with the death of my grandmother at the age of 90 something; she lived in the same apartment on 22ND street for 50 years.

I have romantic visions of those times where all your relatives lived on the same street, and there was always someone around to help out, whether it be to bandage a knee, or sooth a broken heart. It was a time when the worst thing that happened on Halloween was getting hit with a sock full of flour, and the family outing was walking over the Brooklyn Bridge on a Sunday or going to Prospect Park. Every kid went to Coney Island when they had some extra money.

I don't have much left to remember my mother's family for an envelope of photographs that no one wanted after my grandmother's passing. Photos of Easter and everyone color eggs (I was in one of those photos!), photos of my great grandparents together, always with a glass of beer or a vodka in hand. Photos of my grandparents when they were young and in love, then when they had my mother. My mother growing up. My mother holding me as a baby.

The image of a canary evokes such sentimentality in me. If I did not have cats, I would fill my house with the sweet song of the little yellow bird.


Saturday, April 19, 2008


Yesterday I asked the kids what they were doing this weekend. They reminded me Sunday was 4-20. I groaned and said GREAT---I will have a bunch of brain dead kids on Monday.
They laughed.

SO last night I did my own celebration at my friend's Karen and Phil's. They had the fire set up since the fall, and decided that the first WARM night of the year would be celebrated in a huge fire.

Karen pulled together some quick food, and we all bought a bottle of something, whether seltzer, wine or beer.

The fire was amazing, and just long enough to get in some good conversation. The usual crowd was there, a mix of very liberal interesting people whom I have come to know and enjoy over the years.

Karen's daughter was there with her four friends, all about 16, playing soccer, playing the silly games of teenage girls who still have some semblance of innocence in a world where innocence is taken at a young age.

I am grateful for the times we spend there, in a huge yard, with a big pool, and fab people, and without the fire codes that you have in a city like mine. I think I will have to donate my chiminea to Phil for the pool area. We have had it for 2 years and it is again beginning to be a home for the wasps.

Here are some pics from the event taken mostly by Larry. He forgot his camera, and I didn't, so he stole mine. Oh well, he IS the photographer after all.

Off to shower and get out into the warm spring day. Fabulous day to get a jump start on my garden, as the soil is not too wet and it might rain tomorrow? I it is the PERFECT weather to start my greens.

Till tomorrow! Patti O Garden

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Cars. Remember that group? Flashback to the 80's.

Anyway, I am doing a survey. A car survey. Yes, I know, you are sick of my car talk by now (hey, that is a GREAT show on WAMC--- I LOVE listening to those guys!) But I won't get it out of my system until I make the purchase.

For those of you who follow this blog, and like surveys, I am interesting to know the following:
1.What kind of a car do you own.
2. Do you love it? If so, what about it do you love? If not, what about it do you hate?
3. If you had a magic wand, what would be the next car you would buy?

I know I am going thru some kind of mid-life car crisis. If I could have a magic wand I would buy TWO cars. One sports car, and one really cushy one. Being that I can only afford one, I am going for the cushy one with the great sound system, leather, and smooth drive with room, but efficient in gas. This is not an easy choice you know.

And if you don't want to post on this blog, my email addy is readily accessible thru my profile page.

I have owned the following cars, purchased from 1976 to present
3 Toyota Corollas - great cars, wrecked one, the front end fell off one, and someone drove into the other and totaled it.
One VW bug that I never did get running.
One primer grey Honda Civic---TINY
2 Ford Fiestas---ex wrecked both of them.
1965ish Rambler w/a 3 on the column-a monster - got a ton of money for it when I scrapped it as it weighed a ton.
A Chevy Nova - orange with a white roof. Ex drove that into a creek.
A VW Dasher which I drove to the ground. LOVED IT.
A 1978 Chevy Malibu Classic. Ballsy car, gas guzzler, sold to my friend Tom
A early Jetta..loved THAT car.
Then my first new car purchase-a 92 cherry red Jetta--- which sucked and after the lease was up, traded it in for a ----
Chevy Lumina Van, which I got rid of once I put 80,000 miles on it.
Then my current car, a 2002 Honda CRV which is almost paid off ...and I will keep for Larry. LOVE that car, but I am ready for a change...

The Honda Accord EX whatever is sounding pretty nice to me right now, and in my budget. I can smell the black leather now, lol.

Off to continue my research,

Patti O Obsessor

My CRV under a blanket of snow at acutually reached 70 today!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

New Rule #5: Never Test Drive a Car in Rush Hour

The past two days have been a whirlwind.

Medical tests, work, then on Tuesday and Thursday nights from 6-9 I am taking classes in Adobe In Design. My eyes were crossing by the end of the night.

Thankfully, after exhausting myself, I slept a solid six hours.

I must be slowly getting better, at least my cold is, as I found my sense of humor returning. I actually laughed a few times today, much to the relief of my students and co-workers.

I screwed up an appointment today, and found myself with an extra hour or so of free time, so I stopped by the Honda dealership and test drove a top of the line Civic, and an Accord Coupe.

My salesman has been a friend for 30 years, and I totally trust him. He gave me the keys, and told me to take them out in the highway and on some of the windy roads to see how they drive. I went home to pick up Larry to join me, and we had a blast except that we got behind every SLOW driver out on a nice spring evening sightseeing, or there was lots of rush hour traffic, and I barely got to test the cars ability to accelerate and handle back roads at moderate speeds.

I did enjoy inhaling the black leather, playing with the heated seats (as I say there is nothing like a hot ass...) and playing with the satellite radio and electric seats.

I told John I will return to test drive the Sedan AND the the two seater convertible...and I know he will oblige me. If I can't afford a convertible, then perhaps I can make a hobby out of test driving various makes and models around New York State. Just the thought of it makes me grin.

Off to bed...till the next installment.

Patti O Driver

Monday, April 14, 2008

Just Resting

So though I have gone to work (again, no fever) and struggled through the day, my spare time has been for the most part car sitting quietly on the computer online, or resting.

This car thing has me nuts. I have come to the decision that I cannot afford what I want unless I lease, and that what I can afford in the sporty style amounts to a VW.
Perhaps I can get a nice GTI or Jetta for my money, and I have decided that the Mini Cooper, though adorable, is just that--a fun, adorable car that is not practical for the adventures I have been known to go on. I need to be able to fit anything from canvases to people or luggage in my car at any given moment. I know I have the CRV, but that is for hauling the big and messy stuff.

I have my sonogram tomorrow morning, and if I get really brave, I will get my blood work done too. Then I will see what those results are before I schedule any more testing. I am keeping a positive outlook.

I get squeamish about it all, but then feel foolish as I think of what Megan has gone through and is still going through. Today she had to have her esophagus cauterized as it has been bleeding, and was bleeding into her lungs. They hope it is from the hiatal heria which is being aggravated from the pregnancy, combined with the destruction from radiation. We just keep our fingers crossed that the cancer has not returned. Can't do much right now except treat what they can while she is pregnant.

Off to check out more cars.

Patti O Driver

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Light the Way

I have been sick. Chest cold, suspected gall bladder problems. It has put a huge cramp on my otherwise busy life. I have not been able to do much, work out, and now it appears that all that I love to eat and drink is causing me great woe. It is to the point that I MUST get my sonogram done (one of a few) but the symptoms with the most pain get handled first.

We went to Catskill last night for dinner at the Thai restaurant and a lovely stroll through the village. It was their open house night and I was amazed at how much work and dedication has been made to revitalize what was once a fabulous little town.

It is hard to do something like that when there is so much poverty in the surrounding area, but advances have been made, and my brother in law has worked very hard along with other people to develop a community center for kids.

Speaking of doing things to help others, Aveda has a promotion going on now with a candle called LIGHT THE WAY that is available in Aveda Salons. 100% of the proceeds help protect clean water, and the lavender oil used in the candle comes from a farm in Bulgaria that was able to rebuild and sustain its community in an otherwise impoverished and oppressed land. No toxic fertilizers or pesticides are used upon the land.

The candle is 10.00, and supplies are limited. I have asked my friend Lois to order more for me if she can; I will give them as gifts. She has an Aveda Concept Salon in Rhinebeck, so if you are local, stop by or call to see if she has more.

Doing my little bit each and every day.

Patti O Candle

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Joy of Surprise

I have been sick with some choking post nasal drip that has settled into my chest and now I am losing my voice. (oh is Larry happy). I am pretty sure it is viral, and not from allergies. If it is allergy related, then I am in BIG trouble as the only things blooming are a few crocuses.

I did go to work today as I did not have a fever, and I still can hear my mother saying "if you don't have a fever then you can go to school". And so I did.

But there were a few surprises yesterday that made me smile.

After my massage, I headed over the Rhinecliff bridge and marveled at how the clouds and jet trails left geometric designs against the fading blue sky. I have not been carrying my camera with me these days, so I had to document the essence of it in Photoshop for tonight.

When I got to Lois's, she said, "come outside, I have a surprise." There behind her shop was a FABULOUS white Mercedes hardtop convertible, with red leather seats. She said "hop in", and proceeded to press some magic button, and the car was turned into one of those Transformer toys. Motors whirled, the trunk opened, wing-like appendages folded in, the top smoothly slid into the trunk, and we were ready to cruise for the first top-down drive thru town.

We stopped by Kips (who was recently on Martha Stewart for his amazing wood bowls). He welcomed us with beer in crystal wine glasses that gave me a workout lifting them as they must have weighed 5 lbs a glass. His house smelled of fresh tomato marinara...which he had used to smother his fish dinner in.

After my haircut, Lois and I grabbed a bite to eat at bean soup (ouch...I paid dearly for that) and a wild oyster mushroom saute done in red wine and spices, served over a potato pancake.

I started feeling ill, so I headed home, but with a smile on my face.

Ah, the simple things in life. Color, clouds, and a ride in a VERY luscious car.

It's all good.

patti o pleasure

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


I regret not bringing my camera with me today on my 4 mile walk with Karen on the Rail Trail.

The trail is the old railroad track which has been torn up, and the path left for walkers, bikers, runners etc. to enjoy. It is rough in some places, smooth in others, and where we walked winds through the woods.

We came to a HUGE pond/lake, where I asked Karen if there had been a fire. She said no, it was all built by beavers! There are acres and acres of water, and I was amazed at what the work of beavers had done.

I got to see trees in the process of being cut down by beavers, the fresh chips scattered about. I saw the huge dams they had built, as well as many trees which were dying from all the water.

Karen said beavers are rather Imperialistic, turning as much land as they can into an aquatic environment.

Next time I will bring the camera.

I did make it to the doctor today, and I have a long list of tests and specialists that I have to go visit. Gastroenterologist, dermatologist, my foot surgeon, and the you know what doc for starters. Blood work, sonograms, blah blah blah. It sucks to get older.

When Lynne, the PA I have been seeing for 30 years, asked me what was up (I hid the list I had for the first few minutes of my visit) I glibly said, oh, "no matter how little I eat, or how much I exercise, my hips and butt just keep getting bigger.".

Good thing she has a good sense of humor.

Patti O Damage

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


"I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man." Chuang -tzu

I spent many hours in my studio after work this afternoon after a failed nap. It was more of a meditational session than work, though I did manage to make some cards for both of my clients.

I have not been sleeping well, in fact to be honest, I have slept rather POORLY for 5 days now. I tried to lay down after a busy day, but within 30 minute I was wide awake. I may have gone into the zone for 20 minutes. Perhaps that is all I needed.

I wrote in my dream journal while I was in my studio.

It has been a long time since I have written in a book; most of my work has been done on a computer. I relished the flow of the ink pen I used, the character of my writing, the kinetic energy of the act of writing.

I rarely have excerpted anything from my written works, perhaps this is a first time.

"My dreams have been too disturbing and bizarre as of late to ignore them.

My therapist is away, so I must keep the skeletons of them here (in the journal) for safe keeping.

I don't know why they have come back as of late to haunt me. It seems the harder I seek peace, the more they come and disturb my sleep. They visit--sometimes leaving me with dream hangovers which can last well into the day.

I have finished Cormic McCarthy's The Road. Perhaps it has influenced my dreams, for I feel like I am chased by apocalyptic demons"

Someone at work told me there was a recent show on night demons. All I can think of is poor Larry. I don't think he has gotten a good night's sleep either.

Off to watch the second move of Elizabeth with Kate Blanchett. I think she is one of my favorite modern actresses.

Patti O Dreamer

PS this image was born out of a dream I had. I will never sell this.........

Monday, April 07, 2008

Two Things that Make me Nuts

Again somehow it has gotten awfully late and I have run out of time to do much around here.

A long day which started with a horrid headache and ended with a meeting. I came home to discover it was a delightful spring day after being cooped up inside the building, so I took a long walk up and down the hills of my city, listening to my Ipod. Afterwards I worked online, and made a trip to the store to buy some art supplies. I stopped at a friends house for dinner, and now I am home with a few minutes to spare before I have to head to bed.

I can not help but comment upon two things that make me nuts.

One is poor driving etiquette. When I am doing 55 miles an hour, and someone pulls out right in front of me, then proceeds to do 35 miles an hour the entire time he/she is driving, I want to commit some road rage atrocity. Please take note that I am for the most part, a very calm and generous driver, who is NOT prone to road rage, but come on, is this not tempting fate? And, I live on roads that are miles before there is even a passing zone!

The other thing is people not picking up after their dogs.

I live in a very lovely part of my city, with old historical houses and manicured lawns. Yet many people walk their dogs and don't pick up after them when they take a dump. I am constantly having to watch where I walk, as there is dog shit in the road, on the sidewalks, in the grass. I KNOW one of these days I am going to be digging it out of my sneakers with a pencil again.

I also have a very narrow strip of lawn by the curb, where I often have to shovel up other people's dog shit. It isn't the dog's fault. I even got into it with one of my neighbors who let their dog out unleashed, and the dog would come over to my lawn and take a crap.... After months of this my kids got sick of it, and when I was sleeping one afternoon, threw the dog crap over into the neighbor's yard. I guess it hit the house, and the convertible, and I got a phone call from a very angry neighbor threatening me with legal action.

I laughed and told them that I did not tell my children to do this, that I had better manners than that, but indeed, we were all sick of having to shovel the lawn, and we did not even have a dog! Needless to say, the dog got tied up, but my neighbor and his wife did not talk to us for years. No loss I say. They obviously thought they were above the law, and had no concern for their neighbors, so what kind of friends would they make?

Thanks for letting me vent. I have been doing a lot of driving and walking, and had to get this off my mind.

May the road be smooth and swift, and your travels be shit free.

Patti O Complainer

Sunday, April 06, 2008

It's About Time

It's about time

I wrote this blog
I cleaned my house
I paid my bills
I got a massage
I went to the doctor
I started cooking dinner
I watched another movie

I am choosing only a few from the list for the evening, and that is first blogging, then starting dinner before my stomach consumes itself, and maybe, if I get lucky, another movie, and maybe Larry will get lucky.......and watch another movie. (Tidelands was disturbing and intense, though good, and Memoirs of a Geisha was a full of nice visuals and a good score by John Williams)

I have been silent due to trying to recover from doing my taxes. I pay the state (in NY, no big surprise there)and I get a few grand back from the feds, but I wont' tell you how much they kept of my money....and I get chills thinking about what my money is being spent on.

And, while I BRIEFLY touch upon politics, here is a link to an essay written by Pulitzer Prize winner Alice Walker, and her thoughts on the state of the elections, found on Beautifully written and thought provoking. Obama has my vote.

And I want to take a brief moment to recognize my father for having raised me to neither shun nor hate any race nor religion...hate is a concept that I don't understand. Dad, though you may have f-d up a lot, you got this one right, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't admire you for it.

So off to make dinner, I have plenty more to say down the road, but I have to keep my tiny family fed here, and after all, Larry did make me the most awesome martini, even though it has the juice of half a lemon.

Mwah, Patti O Pucker

Thursday, April 03, 2008

$$$$$ tags and html

art copyright pagibbons 2008

If you could see the inside of my head right now, you would see numbers and html fragments floating about in a sea of art images. I have been married to my calculator and to various computers, with little time for creativity save what I can inspire in my classroom. (you know how that makes me crazy). And to boot, I have received calls from shops, galleries, and customers wanting art. Of course that is a good thing, but I have GOT to get these damn taxes done as well as some problem computer work before I can free my mind to create!

I am having a hard time sitting and doing such chores. After I got home I laid down for a nap. That was unsuccessful as the phone kept ringing. So I got up, walked around the dining room table, which is covered in taxes, re-arranged the piles, then went for a nice walk.

Once back home, and cooled off, I sat down and looked at the piles for a few moments, then got up and stared cleaning the house because it looks like a clusterfuck.

I hate to clean. I think I have said that many times here. But I hate to do taxes more. I have an accountant, but there is a lot of paper work when you run another business, and it costs too much money to hand over my bags of receipts --I have to do the major chore of organizing them. Some day I will have a computer program or learn Excel as all my html isn't helping me one BIT with my taxes, but for now, it is all done in a ledger, the old fashioned way.

But tomorrow, 4/4 at 4, I will hand it all over, and let the bills fall where they may.

Patti o Counter

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I'm Not Wearing Wool

It is April 1st, and I am tired of the cold, the winter weather advisories, the high wind warnings, the flood warnings, and the grey.

I want sun AND warmth with only a minimal breeze. Is that too much to ask?

I have been in clothes crisis. I am tired of velvets, cords, and wools. I yearn for the light cottons of summer, but am willing to meet half way. But the mornings are cold, and for the most part, so are the days.

I have decided to take all the turtlenecks out of my room, as well as corduroy, velvets, and wools. From this point forth I will layer in cottons only and be ready for a morning below freezing, and a day of 70. If my neck needs protection, I will procure some wisp of a scarf.

I want to show my body to the sun so that it may be a little pinker than the palest of white with veins mapping out my true age on my legs.

I want to swim again in cool waters and I want to be brown.

I want to wear next-to-nothing.

Patti O Summer