On Being A Sandwich

BROADWAY JOES: ELVIS AND MARILYN
FATIMA ON HER SCOOTER BUZZIN ABOUT TOWN.
DONNA,NEIL,MALCOLM,BETSY AND MEL, THE AMAZING DOG. THESE ARE SOME OF THE WRITERS, ENTREPRENEURS, MUSCISIANS , TEACHERS/PROFESSORS THAT I MET THIS MORNING ON MY WALK!
IN a nutshell the Sandwhich generation is referred to adults who are taking care of their aging parents while having to deal with the issues of their teenage or slightly older children.

In my case, my mother is having some serious health issues in the nursing home, while I have a child who though currently free of stomach cancer, has a severe hiatal hernia, disintegrating hips and spine, PTSD, and have I mentioned that she is having a difficult pregnancy? (thank you George Bush and Iraq for a few of these issues)

AS the eldest and health care proxy, I am dealing with my mother, who is refusing certain medical tests which ultimately COULD lead to her death. The question here is, do we override her decisions, get a court order to declare her incompetent, and force her to get the colonoscopy that she is refusing, with a possible feeding tube down the road, or give her the dignity to make her own decision knowing that she could ultimately die. And, as her health care proxy, where do I fit in with all of this? Her story is complex, but I am of the mind "it is what it is".

While this is going on, I am constantly on the phone w/my daughter who has been in and out of hospitals for two years now. Cancer, treatment, now pregnancy. I talk to her most every day, and travel as often as I can the 900 miles. With the price of gas and the airline situation, I don't know how often I will be able to do that.

How do I stay centered and sane and have clarity? I walk, I write, I paint, I do yoga, I go to therapy, I have good friends. And, my job lets me get lost in it so that I don't perseverate.

Notice that is is nearly 2 am, it is the fourth night I have not slept well, and I am sipping on Larrys Hangar One, and hopeing the crumb of Ambian I took kicks in. I NEED TO SLEEP.

I always thought a sandwich was some delightful form of sex play. Me between two delicious people of my choice. No one told me the real meaning behind it.

SIGH.

Hero anyone?

Patti O Proxy