I just did a longer meditation than my book suggests as I woke up totally stressed from a dream which precipitated from a situation that happened yesterday. PLUS a canon was shot off, and it was most disconcerting first thing in the morning.
I am not going to use names here because it is not necessary, though it would indeed make the story that much more interesting and certainly more tabloid worthy.
I have become close with a 12 year old girl here who happens to be a stranger in a strange land. She knows more about the 60's than I do, and she slaughtered me on the music part of Trivial Pursuit. She wears tie dye, sports wire framed glasses, and would fit perfectly in Woodstock. But she lives in a military town in a military household, and is always excited to see me, nutty ole me, when I am here. We have good conversations and I feel the pain of growing up different. I was an alternative kid myself.
She called me yesterday, very upset. Her father has forbidden her to ever see me again. Why? Because I am a liberal. He told her liberals are two faced, and he hates "bible thumping liberals". I was shocked and told her evidently he had no clue who I was. I don't thump any bible, or any other doctrine for that matter. I am a kind, loving, open, and evolving person. Liberal yes, but not always in all ways....though I do joke about being one, I don't like to be pigeonholed into any one political party, religion, or philosophy.
I felt sorry for her. I have many reasons that I could hate him, but I don't.
It was sobering and woke me up that there are people who are ignorant and angry. In my world none of my friends would treat another human being that way.
So last night I had a dream...that I was back in High School. A group of girls were talking about me in a negative, catty way, and I got up and pounded the shit out of them. Little ole me would never do that in real life (ok, I did it three times in High School out of necessity, and two of them were boys. In all three fights I came out the winner...btw), and in my subconscious I still felt the hurt of being belittled, made fun of, and ostracized for my being a bit different than everyone else for years. This recent comment bought me right back to the early 70's.
I have to let this go. I cannot make trouble because it could get nasty and I am the stranger here. I don't know how this will play out, and I have to stay out of it. I will just keep putting love out into the world, even towards those whose hearts may be closed to it.
patti o outcast
ps Photos take by Alanna of me going down the slide. Pretty good for a four year old!!!!!