In the midst of all the ranting I did in my previous blog, I forgot to post the picture for it, and about the good things going on, like decorating the mantle with Megan and Alanna listening to my Angel CD and enjoying the time together.
I did spend a few days being rather mopey and angry, but what did it do for me other than put me on constant mascara alert, and be stuck in the middle of my own pity party. So I have had a few days to sit on my thoughts, respond to the perpetrator/s of my heartache and let it go. I don't know how it will be met, it may be that part of my immediate and extended family won't be showing up for Christmas. But you know, if that means I will have peace, then so be it.
It has been difficult to navigate my ex's family all these years. I will always be the one who divorced their son, and the blame for his addictions and failures. My children have often found themselves in the middle of it all, torn about their father, and about me. For the most part I have learned to stay out of most of the drama, but once in a while it lands in my living room, no matter how hard I try to keep it out.
But I think I have brushed it out the door again, let the winds of the storm carry the dust of negativity, victimization, martyrdom, addiction, and the past out into the whirling snow - and there's Larry in his storm gear, making sure it doesn't come back.
So on my snow day I had a breakfast date with a 4 year old, rented some movies, cooked a pot of chili, catching up on some internet work, maybe seeing if Amazon or Victoria's Secret or L.L. Bean and the like can ship by Christmas for free.
Be warm, safe and dry. It's a heck of a storm here in the wooly wild northeast.