The Waiting Line

The past two days have been very intense.

One of our coworkers is dying of cancer if she indeed is still in her body as of my writing this.

We have worked together for 14 years; my son dated her daughter. I think they went out for a phone call or two, but he also got to know her as he attended my school for a year.

We are all devastated. She was with us through Memorial Day weekend, then she did not come back to work. We never got to say goodbye or tell her how much we loved her, although we all did so in so many other ways. I guess I just yearn for that closure, that goodbye.

She had breast cancer for many years, but this year it came back with a vengeance, settling into her bones. Yet she came to work every day, caring for the kids AND adults as the school nurse.

At times like these I realize how like family my co-workers are. They kept me sane when Megan was diagnosed with cancer and going through treatment. I went to work nearly every single day because their love and strength kept me focused.

Today we all hugged one another and cried. We dread tomorrow as we expect we will have to break the news to the kids and finally fact the fact that she is gone. Somehow we all hope for a miracle, but the news is, that her body has shut down and when the last of the family arrives, they will take her off life support.

Oh so fast. Here one moment, and a memory the next.

It makes us vulnerable, this dance between life and death. We cling desperately to one another, wondering...which one of us will be next? The waiting line.

Yet out of death we celebrate life and I squeeze as much as I can out of every moment.

To Christine, where ever you are, you were brave and beautiful and we all love you so very much.

Patti