It's All How You Look at It
Originally I had hoped that I could meet up with a friend tonight for dinner, but one was dealing with relatives, my other friend I tried to text, but it turned out either she has a new cell number, or someone has stolen her phone, as I got Edgar returning my texts. I gave up after trying twice, and decided that I really needed to go home and just settle in. Besides, the wind was kicking up a storm and I HATE WIND unless it is 75 degrees and coming off some ocean,preferably the Caribbean.
Larry had bought home some food from Woodstock, and told me I could have the left overs. As I was attempting to lay it on a plate, the tempeh fell on the floor, scattering the sauce all over the place. I wiped off any cat hairs which may have stuck to it, and proceeded to heat it up. The polenta was OK, but the tempeh SUCKED. I ditched it, and settled into eating the rest of the brie on crackers and sipped on some wine.
During a discussion with a friend, he referred to me as being a lovely energy wrangler, and it made me grin from ear to ear. For ONCE someone had validated something that I cherish about myself. Since I was a child I have borne the stigma of being called bad, hyper, Type A, blah blah blah. Being full of energy was not a positive attribute, and something that I never understood. I felt like an outcast.
#1 had no clue about what I was about, as he was too numb to care. I think he saw my energy as a threat to his manhood and survival. I left him in a rush. #2 had it on the list of negatives about me that I found on his dresser one day when I was cleaning. In addition to his distaste of my energy level, he thought me crass, inappropriate, and messy. (there was more, but only these have stuck deeply into my heart). I never did find the list of things that were good about me; I am not sure if he could ever find the kindness in his heart to write that one. I found this note on my birthday (Nov 10Th..) and was gone by Thanksgiving, leaving a six year relationship in the dust. #3 (Larry)has never called my energy Type A, as he would never say anything mean; he just tells me when I am spinning out of control "you are making me nervous".
But to be called an energy wrangler made me feel like someone transformed what others may have considered bad into something positive; I liken it to calling hot flashes "power surges". You see, it's all in how you look at it. And at this lovely lovely wise part of my life, I have a good sense to know when the wranglin' is a bit too much, in steps yoga and meditation. After all, it is the energy that gives me the ability to teach, to love, to heal, to give, to make art, to market what I do, to write, and do it day after day after day with a smile on my face.
Thanks friend. I so needed that.
Patti O Energizer Bunny
Print for sale in my Catskillpaper Etsy shop!