An Upside Down Day
I was in bed after work today, only to roused by Larry tempting me with brie on a cracker, and the promise of some wine downstairs.
I don't know what it is, but I will blame the hormones, cause it is easy. But I suspect it might be the stress of the day and my life that comes creeping in disguised as fatigue.
I did not want to write last night. I did not go on the computer much at all today, which prompted my friend Tom to call and ask if I was OK. (he also had to ask me some questions about tiles for the bathroom). After work I crawled into bed, something I NEVER DO. I laid there and sulked.
Today was a rough day in school. It was a day where I almost walked out and told them I can't do this anymore. This has been the first time this year since I have felt that, but I work with very difficult students, and one class makes me feel unsafe, angry, and frustrated. At the end of the day I fought back tears as I sat writing up reports. My stomach started bothering me again; it has been quiet for a few weeks. (gastro doc appt. next week) Then I found a lump in my hand, in my palm, which totally freaked me out. It is my right hand, the one that I make my living with. But I can't deal with that right now, I have to deal with the impending endoscopy first.
To boot my daughter has been diagnosed with systemic lupus. She is in remission from cancer, and now is suffering with severe pain, headaches,and the after effects of a moderate dose of prednisone which she will be on for several months. She is 900 miles away, and I feel so helpless.
Then there is the economy. And the stimulation deal. I don't understand it all, and am not quite sure how this is all going to work. No one knows what happened to the first 350 mil of the first bailout bundle under Bush, and if their isn't any accountability for this money, I fear another round of "take the money and run" (remember that Woody Allen movie?) and we will be left holding the empty money sack. I feel sorry for Obama coming into office and having this dumped on the table in the oval office, but I also want a deal that gives money to the places that we need it most.
Then to top it all off, I am disappointed in my Victoria's Secret order. The sweaters were fine...I know what I like and I know my size, but the little short corduroy skirt in plum? The one that I fantasized about wearing with my books and a sweater? Made me look like an elephant in a tutu. I got the size right, but there is enough fabric to dress up three size 6's.
The laugh of the day was a demonstration on how to use the filters and liquefy tool in Photoshop. I asked the class "what personality would you like to make into a total freak?", and the class shouted BUSH! Now I had been thinking they would say Chris Brown, or some other personality, but no, they chose Bush. See folks, it is not only ME who still likes to poke fun at him. I had called him an old fool, but he is no fool as he retires to his new Texan home "with a Dallas office, staffers, Secret Service protection, a travel budget, medical coverage and a $196,700 annual pension, all at taxpayers' expense" while we watch our retirement funds play magic tricks in front of our eyes.
No guilt in Photoshop class.
Patti O Bitcher
PS If I disappear, that email that was a Valentine e-card, that I thought was from my daughter Megan and said "I think of you every day", was really from a "MAGS" not MEGS, may be some very toxic form of computer virus sent by some sneaky enemy grabbing all my info and passwords, and possibly sending me into the eternal black abyss of virus-land......