A Bit of Humor Needed

I had breakfast with Gary's family before they all headed back to California. It was a bittersweet departure, and they will be back as their mom's house needs some work and she needs some help disbanding Gary's things I am sure. I will visit Erna every few weeks and bring dinner as I know that when the dust settles, she will miss the son who made sure she was OK.

I went home to work in the studio all afternoon. It was cold, and it took forever to heat up. I just got slammed with another heating bill and my hard earned art monies go to heating my studio..sometimes I wonder if I will EVER get ahead.

I took the latter half of my day to go work out.

I had been a runner, a racer in fact, an in line skater, skier, and tennis player, sometimes all at the same time. It has been 2 1/2 years since my accident that I have done anything besides physical therapy, and with the new year decided that I have pain whether or not I work out, so I may as well be in shape.

I have had people come up to me saying, "Patti, I did not know you belonged to this gym!", and I mumble that I have belonged to it for years...just have given them tons of money without using their facilities.

I pretty much go about my business as it is not a social outing for me, in spite of the fact that I know a ton of people there. Today, as my luck would have it, I chose an elliptical machine next to a guy who is doing a half marathon on it, sweat flying all around, and giving off the smell of garlic like nothing I have ever experienced. He is grunting, laughing, sneering, and totally distracting me.

After 30 minutes I escape as he does his second round, and am onto the machines. I no sooner get there then I am shadowed by a man who is 20 years OR MORE my senior. And remember, I have turned 50. He starts to talk to me, and ask me a million questions. I try and go about my workout and be polite. He then springs the "let's go out for a drink" line. I look at him in disbelief and tell him I am VERY married, and I don't think that is possible.

I am shocked. He doesn't wait for a few chance meetings, or until the third time he sees me working out there, HE WAITS ONLY TILL THE THIRD MACHINE to try and pick me up!!!

I end my circuit, and head BACK to the elliptical to seek the solace of Lois who is doing her workout. She looks at me and starts cracking up. I am depressed and deeply distressed that the one time I am stalked is by a man old enough to be my father. Out of the hoards of young muscle pumping gods out on the floor, I get the oldest guy. I am not prejudiced about age, but jeez, couldn't it be someone a bit younger?

Off to dig up the ancient tubes of Retin-A that I have stashed in the closet...

Patti O Gym


Judy Vars said…
God thats a funny story but I'll bet the young guys are eyeballin ya to. Is that old guy called Larry? LOL

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