Patti Gibbons Art

It isn’t rocket science that if your life is a mess, it will impacts one’s sleep and dreams. For every action there is a reaction, plain and simple. I could not sleep last night; my hormones were wrecking havoc on my body temperature, and my mind re-played various scenarios from last night over and over again. Then I had a pain in my toe and it was throbbing all night, and of course I obsessed about infection and the metal of that ankle and how that could land me in a hospital or kill me. (don’t laugh---one of the recent things my doc said to me was “be careful about ANY kind of infections in your foot or leg as the plates etc. will attract and hold the infection and can cause some serious problems, and I know someone who knew someone who died from this!!!!) Great. I am leaving in two days for California and don’t have time to deal with this. I will get to the conclusion of that story in a moment. I wake up even on the weekends at 5:30 am, before the 6 AM alarm goes off, and ...

I don't even know what to write about or where to start. I am emotionally and physically drained. I came off the past 10 days of intense work at school, the kids riled up with spring fever and vacation, making it nearly impossible to get my grading done for the semester. I had to do lots of accounting work at home, and, as of the past few days I have not been feeling well on any level, and I think the hormones are short circuiting a bit. You are not here however, to listen to me whine. So I will get over it. I will list the good things I did today and rejoice in them: I got to see my friend Rob whom I have not seen in two months. We always have interesting conversations over some kind of drink and gnosh. On a whim we took off to Target and I bought myself a new piece luggage-an Eddie Bauer piece. 15 year warantee. I am sick of the luggage I have, all of which I have managed to mangle in some way; broken handles, missing wheels. I break luggage like I break corkscrews. So I will tak...

I had a murky day. Too much on my mind, and given a sudden jolt of hormones to boot, equated melt down. I was listening to yoga music while eating my lunch with the lights off, and someone flipped a switch in my brain or heart, and I just started crying. If I weren't at school I would not mind so much, but when I do it there it sometimes triggers looks and questions. I try and keep my personal life to myself except for close friends. I did get a wonderful gift today, and in spite of the fact that I have tons of shit falling on my head on a daily basis, the universe is kind and bequeaths random gifts when I most need them. Gina was getting a lesson on a type of two person massage and she and her partner needed a willing body. I love massage and it transforms me, so it was not difficult to volunteer for. We went to the new spa at the Emerson, and there I experienced a small piece of heaven. The Abhyanga massage consists of a series of ayurvedic techniques, combined with ...

"To see a barn in your dream, signifies feelings kept in your unconscious. There is a possibility that you may be holding back your instinctual action or natural urges". (a possibility??!!) Tonight's image is of a barn that I took a photo of on the way to Mohonk Mountain house one afternoon. The photo came out with a weird dreamlike glow to it. It was eerie. Probably old chemicals, old film, who knows. I shoot with anything on hand..old disposable cameras way past their due date, then aged to perfection in the glovebox of my car all summer. As an older teen I was obsessed with barns. Was it their beautiful red against verdant fields that called out to me? Was it the beauty of their construction, even when aged to a skeleton of sky and timbers? I never thought of it until now, but I painted my house a few years ago a beautiful dark barn red. It is stiking against gold, green and orange trims. I am in love with it and every day when I come home I smile. I was inside a barn ...

I am keeping this short as it is late and I still have tax work to do before I retire. I have spent many, many hours doing my taxes, and each year I get so little back..like a few hundred dollars. It seems ludicrous to even be investing that sort of time into it, but like so many things, it is a necessary evil. I don't think that my business has made a profit yet. And one sure realization is, that I don't know who is making huge bucks out there on ebay, because between the Ebay and Paypal fees, and the time to photograph/scan, list the item, then do the shipping for the sale, you are already behind the eight ball. I am going to have to rethink my art, and how to spend more of my time MAKING art and find a way to market it on the internet that is less time consuming and expensive. Of course, that is a challenge when you are working a full time job AND helping out with a 2 year old and a sick child. Tonight's photo was at my friend Ruben's house. We have worked to...

After a long day at work I had gone to the tanning booth to get a few more minutes of light, rest, and hopefully a bit of color before I take off in a week. The reality is that it is just as warm in Sauselito as it is here, just a bit more consistent. Easter break is my celebration of the return of sun and warmth which I have been awaiting since the days started getting shorter. In my little pod I erase the days detritus and welcome the light and the warmth as I lay there. On the way out I stopped to talk with Jamie, the young single mother who works there, who was also once my student. She asked about Megan, and I filled her in on her cancer and treatment. Her young friend was standing next to me. With intense green eyes she looked at me and said "is she back from Iraq?". I said yes, and told her that ever since Megan returned from Iraq she has been very ill. This young woman proceeded to tell me about her boyfriend who returned a year ago, who has horrid stomach ulcers whi...

I was going to be my usual double entendre self and title my blog something slightly different, but I stopped because I knew that I would get a sudden rush of traffic to this blog, and it would have NOTHING to do with the fact that I have been discovered as a writer or an artist. Though I am not a computer tek, I do fiddle around on it enough to be able to troubleshoot, write a bit of code, make and upload my own website etc. One of the things I have done is install a stats counter on my blog. I can see how many people look at my blog every day, as well as how they got to me: IE search keywords, or if they got to me through my website etc. On occasion I check these stats, and have found out some interesting information. One of the top keywords that was used was Aquaveet. I wrote a blog about a party and drinking too much Aquaveet, and voilla, since January I have been found because of this one episode. I am sure that they don't ever come back again, as do most people who stumble u...

I just thought this was the cutest photo of Alanna and Achilles. Achilles is Megan's boyfriend Dole's dog....an 85 pound Pit Bull who is in love with Alanna. He has a toy rope, and she holds one end, he the other, and he pulls her around the room. She pulls on his ears and tries to pull him around....and he endures it. Megan says he is an 85 lb lap dog. He did growl when Dole was tickling Alanna and she started crying, as if to say CUT IT OUT. The Buster Brown dog and the dog on the Little Rascals were also pit bulls. I get a bit nervous as Pit Bulls have gotten a bad rap, but after my research, a well trained pit bull is as safe as any other dog. And Achilles is a big big baby. He jumps a bit too much for my liking and needs some training in that department, but he seems to be very very friendly. I took my first spring trip up to Woodstock today. I was surpised at how busy it was and had a hard time finding close parking. I walked through town, and saw my friend Ja...

I fell into a dark hole last night after going out with friends, and after a phone call to a friend that I made when I got home. I realized that there was nothing left in me. My energy was gone, my mind was shot, my emotions had sucked me dry and I was in a void of absolute nothingness. Now that is not so bad, as it was a place of peace actually. I did not want to think, I did not want to feel. I did not want to write, which is unusual as I am so obsessive about my blog. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. The day was lovely enough.....It was a warm late afternoon spring day, (yes, here in the northeast we consider 50's warm in March..) and as Dana and I were walking to Ugly Gus's (great name for a restaurant, lol) we started running into friends along the way, who had either walked or were parking their cars, and we all walked together to meet the rest of the dozen or so friends whom were celebrating one of our co-workers birthdays. Joanne's celebration h...

I had a discussion with a friend today about aging, and how we just can't do the things that we used to be able to do when we were younger. He lamented the fact that he just couldn't keep up with the younger guys once he got past a certain age. I lamented the fact that my broken ankle might not allow me to do some of the things that I liked to do. BUT----there are so many things we CAN do and I am thankful for that. I have spent a lot of time musing about the process of aging. It is difficult for a woman to age in this society as so much emphasis is put on the beauty of the physical rather than the beauty of the person as a whole. In other societies older people are honored; in ours, we become invisible and useless. I am at a stage in my life where I have to accept the fact that I am not a young woman any more, and that I will never have back the skin, firmness, and beauty of youth. But I am still beautiful, and I have an inner beauty built upon the experiences of my life. To k...

One of the things that I LOVE about writing this blog every day is that it forces me to be creative, and to carve out time for that creativity at least for a half hour or more in the evening. Since I have not been able to get into the studio to paint (filling card orders is about all I have been able to pull off for a few months now...) I have found solace in writing and been forced to learn how to use a digital camera and photoshop to make a piece of art . I have taken to carrying the camera with me where ever I go. The next step is to buy an extra set of batteries to keep with it as the other day the batteries died while I was photographing in the middle of a big snow squall at dusk. Soon I will be carrying around the watercolors and sketch pens in my car and finding areas to pull off and enjoy the landscape. Even though it is cold, and there is A LOT OF SNOW on the ground (I can't see my Buddha!!!! He is BURIED!!) I am trying to enjoy the strength of the sun and the length of th...

I am often a spontaneous person. In fact, the best times that I have had were not planned, or planned at the last moment. I don't like traveling alone, I like flying alone even less. I have only flown to visit Julie in Raleigh several times (groan---and a few flights were bad experiences....planes landing in pot holes and getting stuck, mini tornadoes skirting across the ground..and more...) and this will be a first traveling cross country alone. But I need to push myself to a place beyond my safe zone, and I am in desperate need for a vacation AND an adventure. I HOPE I booked a ticket to San Francisco for 5 days of my spring break. I say I HOPE as still have not recieved a confirmation email from American. I used the miles I have been saving for years. I don't have money to travel this spring, so I finally broke down and used my miles. I have never been to visit Bardet who still owns a house within walking distance to me here in the Hudson Valley, but moved out to Sausalito s...

I stumbled through my monday as best I could. The kids were all as shell shocked as the teachers going back to school after being cooped up in their houses for a majority of the past three days from the snow storm. As with any school day, my day was packed; a faculty meeting, an art show for the kids to get together, yearbook is in full swing, I am supposed to be taking an Adobe Illustrator class for my PGP, etc. After school I went to do all the things I could not do over the snow laden weekend---the Post Office, the Bank, the grocery store, and then I decided to go to the tanning booth for 6 minutes to get some friggin light, and maybe a little bit of color IN CASE I make that plane reservation for San Francisco for a few days of R and R with a friend over Easter break. I was also supposed to go to a meeting tonight which I was dreading as I still had to finish my NY sales taxes. So while in the grocery store, I started to visualize my class being cancelled. It started snowing harde...

Oh how I wish it was a week ago, when I spotted the seedlings, limp, but alive, of my larkspur in my side garden. I let my gardens determine their own fate..I figure it is survival of the fittest. This side garden seems to love dill and larkspur, and I have decided not to do battle with it, other than put in some lettuce plants next month amidst the flowers and herbs. Perhaps they will give shade and keep the lettuce cool and give it a longer growing season.... This photo is my dried yarrow against the snow. It also could be sky....depending upon how you look at it. I did not use a flash and let the fading evening light color it a cool blue......such a beautiful color, with a little help from Photoshop of course. My yarrow also grows wild throughout my cottage style gardens. They are hardy and provide color and cut flowers summer through fall. I have not left the house in three days except for two very short trips. Sometimes I just hole myself in for long periods of time, and...

It is after 9pm. It is only a few moments ago that I remembered it was St. Patrick's day. And that was thanks to Larry. I had spent the last 36 hours running around after a 2+ year old toddler whose nose was constantly running and creating a mess on her face, on her hands, on everything she touched.........snot gives a better gloss than my Japan dryer and some of the sealants I use in my art work. I did manage to get some laundry done, and a little cooking, but for the most part I was in high gear soothing, entertaining, wiping, and laughing with my own little leprauchaun. After she left at noon, I locked myself in the back room and worked for 8 hours solid on the taxes. My NY state sales taxes for the year are due monday, and at the end of the week I have an appointment with my accountant for the "other" taxes. If I get all the work done this weekend, it will be the first time in 10 years that I have gotten a tax return done on time. At one point I was two years b...

Flashback to March 13th and 14th of 1991 0r was it '92. I had bought this wonderful house with a man I was engaged to and loved. I was thrilled. We had moved in together a few months before after dating for 5 years. I thought life just did not get any better; a man who loved me, a beautiful old house, securing my first professional job as a teacher after working hard to get my college degree while being a single mother, and a lovely cherry red VW Jetta. My first NEW car. Julie (my best friend) and Dave her husband were up from North Carolina, and it was her birthday. They braved the storm and came over to hang with us for a bit. We were snowed in for two to three days, and I remember having to drive like a maniac to get up our hill, and how around the curve I spun out and bounced off a snow bank. (laughing) I don't remember if it was 2 or 3 days we were off from school..... And here, 15+ years and a few days later, I am revisiting this storm. Megan is living in Julie's mom...

The past few days I have been thinking about my summertime adventures I am planning up and down the Hudston River. I feel I have been too complacent and lazy over the past few summers with my art, and this summer I am going to hit the roads and the Hudson Valley to paint. I can no worry about the fear of not being good enough----if I never paint I will NEVER be good enough. I have already decided what my kit will be for the travels, and will make a checklist. Bathing suit, sunscreen, hat, towel, blanket, cooler, (wine), food, plenty of water, bug repellent, camera, paints. Oh, a book for a lazy afternoon break. Map. If I had a laptop I would write too. (I really need a laptop, even if it only does word processing for now....) OH and I need an IPOD or something like that, so that when I want, I can have music. I enjoy silence, but I like the option of tuning things out, especially if there is someone near me who I don't want to hear, or don't want to seem open to an invitation ...

I just posted to Megan's blog as I had not written in a week, and I am a bit tired and have some other work to do before relaxing in a hot bath which I seem to have been trying to take for DAYS. I am posting a picture that I used on Megan's blog recently, taken by Larry of Alanna. Shortly after she was born, both Larry and I started photographing her. Mine are of the snapshot variety, while Larry's are just lovely pieces of art. Alanna is not only comfortable with being photographed, but she LOVES the camera, and we have given her some of our disposables to run around and make pictures. I recently developed some of them and was shocked at the accuracy of her shots of our family and friends, and of Beppo the cat of course. The other two cats don't have shock collars on and they usually run away from her no matter what is in her hand. Beppo was Megan's cat, and when she moved out, she became our cat (how many of you know THAT story!!!) We obtained two more c...

This is another Charles Rosen painting from the show at the Dorskey Museum in New Paltz. A lovely piece, so representative of the change I have seen take place on the creeks and rivers that accompany me on my daily treks. I have watched the river all winter, watched it get heavy and slow, and slower, and slower, as the night air remained frigid and still. The surface froze deep, and I strained to hear faint whispers amidst crisp silence, and time and emotion were suspended in cold and ice. The river knew my story, and my pain. It gave me insight, and it gave me beauty. I watched thin sheets of ice become thick slabs, encircling all that did not move strongly or fast. But with the push of light and season, winter has started to lose its' strength. The ice heaves up, is flung upon the shore, and once again the river becomes heavy and dark, throbbing and full. Today was near 55-60, a heat wave after the deep freeze of the past few weeks. The geese are returning and grazing in ...

I was numb after seeing Notes on a Scandal last night with Larry. It hit too many sensitive places; too many lightning-bolt-flashes of recognition in our face. Cate Blanchett: a beautiful ethereal artist and art teacher in a challenging high school, married to an older man, mother to two challenging children, one of whom has a disability . She has a passionate clandestine affair with a 15 year old, and is manipulated and blackmailed by an older associate played by Dame Judi Densch. Loneliness. Desire. Betrayal. Bitterness. Desperation. Destruction. Redemption. Replay. I was shaken up. There were parts of the script that I could have written, parts which I could have played; some which exist as distant memories, others - stories in the making. How many of us have built our lives upon taking care of others, forgetting our own needs and desires until they are either lost to fantasy or acted upon, often with disastrous consequences…some living in chambers that echo of loneliness and emptin...

I wish I could say I started the day in calm and peace, but it started with my getting up late, being an hour behind schedule with the time change, and that jolt started the energy of the day. I don't know what it is that is causing such upheaval in my life, but I suspect is has been the forced shock of the realization that life is so precious and I have spent hours ruminating about purpose, desire, dreams, failure and frustrations. It has not made for much peace in my heart and in my mind, and it has now spilled into my life. I am not one to get too personal here, but I have to say, that life has been quite heavy. But the sun was shining, it was warmer than it has been in weeks. I picked up Karen and away we went for breakfast and a trip to the Dorsky Museum in New Paltz New York. I find so much joy in art, whether making it or looking at it, so it was a treat to spend intimate time witha friend and enjoy the sacredness of the museum. The Judy Pfaff mixed media show was impressiv...

I have spent a majority of the past few days obsessing about several things (I am good at that by the way…multi-tasking obsessing…) one of which is my broken CD player in the car. I cannot play or eject any of my 5 CD’s, and it is maddening to not have a choice of what I want to hear. Music is such an integral part of my being, and though at times the radio can be ok, for the most part I like to chose my tunes according to my mood and the moment. I fear that one of them is stuck. And, after doing all my investigating, I suspect it is the Red Hot Chili Peppers mix that my girlfriend made for me and it might have had a paper label on it. In checking online, the paper labels pasted on top of a CD make it a a titch bit too thick for players that are not tray CD players, and often jammie up those CD players in cars. DID I KNOW THERE BEFORE I PUT IT MY CHILE PEPPERS?????? NO. So, digging further on the net (while I am thinking, why isn’t there a Mr. Wonderful who just appears like a genii to...

Actually, the title of this card should have been "but Jay cheered her up", but all I had was Robin..sooooo. Jay came and picked me up after work and we headed to Albany to hear Johnny Winter and his band and Leon Russell. It was a hoot. A very interesting mix of people, and it was mostly my age or older. Very few under 45+ crowd, LOL. It was certainly a different perspective on things, and I realized that I am not liking moving up that age ladder with my friends. But let me tell you, these musicians don't know about age when it comes to their music and performing. They both appeared somewhat frail; Johnny needed help walking, and Leon seemed ok with his cane, but once they got on stage, they played and sang like they were 30 years old. Their energy blew me away, and believe me, I have a lot of energy. I was glad that I saw these legends live with their bands. And, the acoustics at the Egg were pretty good! My energy is running out. I am off to bed, but because...

I took tonight off. I was still sick last night, so I decided to cancel German class, and the only plans I made for the evening was to take care of myself. A few phone calls later I had booked a visit with my wonderful healer/chiropractor, and an appointment for a massage. Total hedonism, and much needed. I had such intense day at work…you have no idea. And I can’t discuss it here…but when I say it was nuts…it is more than anyone could image that goes on in a school such as the one I work in. I was crazy with the energy of the day, and everything in my mind and heart, which has been boiling over for days - came to a head. Yet rather than melt down I had a flash of wisdom and truth----- I needed to lighten up and laugh again. I have kept to myself and buried myself in my work since Megan first got sick in October….and I forgot what it was like to be my silly zany self. So I laughed, I played, and I smiled…and it felt great. It bought incredible energy back to me, and back to others. I...

Another fine blog lost thanks to AOL/ROADRUNNER. I am pissed. I am not doing it again. You have been spared. In summary, it was about driving, about the freedoms and experiences that driving gave me as a teen, and of those pleasures that it still gives me. I escape from the world, and I absorb the landscape, listen to the music or to my mind, make notes, photograph. I compose my blogs, or rehearse a lesson. Sometimes I even go places in my mind I would not dare to go in reality. The road becomes the outline of my life...the experiences fill it in. One of the stops in my day of driving was to meet Annie and Susan in this little place in Saugerties called Chiptole Grill. Housed in an old pizza hut, the husband and wife do a nice job, and a sweet waitress really made it a cozy experience. Susan interviewed me for an article she is writing in wake of the current Walter Reed fiasco. It was a very intense conversation, and I felt myself getting more and more angry at the crimes our gove...

Sometimes when I am in a muddle in my head and in my heart, I cook. Don't ask me what it is, why it is, but it is one of the things that I do. Maybe it is the satisfaction of taking a bunch of disparate elements and combining them to form sustenance for the body and soul. Maybe it was because I could not go out into the studio to make art as I had Alanna, so my cooking became my art. While I chop and I saute, I think about life, wondering if I will ever find what I am looking for, wondering if my daughter will beat the odds and be OK , and if Alanna will grow up to be a strong and healthy young woman. As I dice the garlic, occasionally smelling my fingers and nibbling on a piece or two, I shrug my shoulders and softly sing to myself "Que sera , sera , Whatever will be, will be; The future's not ours to see..." (I am dating myself from that one, even though it WAS sung in a movie before I was born...but some things are timeless.) I am a picky gourmet cook. Pr...

Tonight's title is the title of a Beth Orton song. Sometimes the lyrics and the melody of a song just grab me by the most sensitive of heart strings. I listen to it over and over. It becomes one with me, I become one with it. I know every nuance, every chord. Then one day, I hear another song...and that song touches a new emotion. And such is one of the cycles of my life, and I suspect for many of you too. Then one day, you are in a supermarket, or on a back road with the top down, in a friend's car, or in an airport. One of THOSE songs plays and it all comes back and slams you in the heart. You remember every feeling, every sadness, every joy that you ever lived in that song. Tonight it is frigid. I am deep in thought, wrapped in a robe to keep the cold draft off me from the French windows which rattle with the intense wind. So much going on in my life, so much confusion. So many feelings, so many paths before me. I try to think clearly, to be wise, and be true and honest to m...

Steve Weis Behind the Face 1997 Oil on Canvas, 72 x 36" Ani Tachdjian My Brother's Keeper? 1997 Oil on Paper, 72 x 42", right panel I am hoping that if I stay home today I will be mostly better by tomorrow. I am trying to focus on healing and taking everything that I have...Emergen-C,ginger tea, Zicam, and at night, codeine cough medicine. . I have spent a large part of the past 10 days at home except for the days I had to teach, and I have had enough. I have to admit I did sneak out last night to go to Ani Tachdjian and Steve Weis's opening. The paintings were dark, and similar in their aura of mysticism, mythology and magic. I would find myself going back to several paintings, and each time I looked at them, figures,eyes,and erotica appeared like magic.....enticing me, pulling me into their mysterious worlds. I sipped on my champagne and let the images seduce me. I have been in a bit of a dark place for a while now...and it was easy to fall into into it unnoticed un...

This is one of my "Bad Girls" Nursery Crime series of greeting cards. Yeah, I know it is bad, but you know, there is a place in ALL of us that goes there, whether we care to admit it or not. I was pretty sick all day. I allowed myself to go to the studio as I had missed being in it so much this week. In spite of the fact that it flooded, I was desperate to get in there - even mopping and sweeping the floors was a pleasure. I did get some cards made to send as thank you notes for those who have been so generous in donating to Megan's fund. Lois dropped off a birdhouse that I am supposed design for a big fundraiser in Rhinebeck, NY. I asked her if I could do a collage/assemblage, and use text that has double entendres. She reminded me that Rhinebeck is rather conservative, and it WILL be in store windows,and that it was a benefit for kids. OOPS I said, I will make the verse tame. Some pretty famous people make birdhouses for this benefit, including Annie Leibovitz. I briefl...

In short-it was a long day. Pouring cold rain and ice, I was sick, went to school when I should have stayed home. I have a whiskey tenor voice; I am sure some have found it interesting. One of my students told me not to talk because it was making her feel pain. I had to break my rendevous with Rob, so that I could come home and take care of myself. I really wanted to go and do museum and coffee, but I knew it was not wise. The quiet and centering part of the evening after all the craziness---was dinner. Larry got take-out from Kyoto. I took the time to light scented candles, put out the simple black plates, and the sake bottle and glasses that my brother gave me 20+ years ago. It had been a long time since I have used them, and Jude had given us a bottle of Sake for Christmas. As I sat in quiet and ate my dinner, I thought about the times my brother and I had gotten together for long conversations and a bottle of sake, tipping the delicate cups many times to our lips, nodding. I...

This bug I have seems to only be getting worse instead of better; I have been sick for a week now, and am losing my voice and it is in my chest. Tough to teach like that, though I am sure that some people in my life are glad I am low key and keeping quiet. I dragged myself to German class too and we had a really hard lesson. At one point I almost gave up and was going to go home, but Patrick picked me up and I had no car. Two plus hours later, my brain was smoking... We have a flood watch posted, so I just dashed out in the sleet to the studio to pick up anything but plastic on the the floor in case it floods. In my moving things I found this odd piece which has been floating around for a long time. I never do anything with it as it is too bizarre for a card, and not something I would frame. It just sorts of appears now and then. As I looked at it, I thought how "Monty Pythonesque", and I remembered the laughs I have had out of The Holy Grail and The Meaning of Life. A fe...