I fell into a dark hole last night after going out with friends, and after a phone call to a friend that I made when I got home. I realized that there was nothing left in me. My energy was gone, my mind was shot, my emotions had sucked me dry and I was in a void of absolute nothingness.

Now that is not so bad, as it was a place of peace actually. I did not want to think, I did not want to feel. I did not want to write, which is unusual as I am so obsessive about my blog. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to bed.

The day was lovely enough.....It was a warm late afternoon spring day, (yes, here in the northeast we consider 50's warm in March..) and as Dana and I were walking to Ugly Gus's (great name for a restaurant, lol) we started running into friends along the way, who had either walked or were parking their cars, and we all walked together to meet the rest of the dozen or so friends whom were celebrating one of our co-workers birthdays. Joanne's celebration had been snowed out by the storm that dumped 1.5 FEET of snow on us, so we were doing it again, just a week later.

The companionship was great, upbeat. We all laughed, imbibed and gnoshed on the appetizers of happy hour and food ordered by others. We are a tight group, and you could "feel the love". Honestly. I consider myself priveledged that I work with such a wonderful group of people.

After a few hours of this, I left and drove one of my co-workers home. She is half my age..and has such wonderful energy. I thrive on such energy; it is this kind of energy that keeps ME young. (oh if I could only siphon this out of people and drink it like wine!!) We sat and talked for a long time, and somewhere along the way I had a mini-melt down. Perhaps it was the wine, perhaps it was just too much emotion pent up for too long a time, and it needed release. A few tears, a few words of frustration and angst, but I got over it fast, and felt better.

One of the things that I took away with me last night was a discussion I had with a friend about life. I shrugged my shoulders and said "everything in my life is what it is, and is supposed to be that way for a reason." My friend told me the Chinese have a phrase which means exactly that. Of course I can't remember how to say it, never mind write it, and it had nothing to do with the wine as I had not even been drinking when we had the discussion, haha, but it had such a poetic ring, and it made so much sense. (I am going to email her and ask her what it was...) It gave me a sense of peace when I thought about it, and I see it very clearly. That very same friend gave me a pocket charm that said HOPE on one side, and had the word in Chinese on the other side.
Thank you Dana xxx

viltis (Lithuanian)
speranza (Italian)
espoir (French)
die Hoffnung (German)

This mornings quick digital artwork inspired by HOPE......



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