Got the "Will I Ever Recover" Blues
The sun is shining, there is a smooth cool breeze easing into my room from under the partially open window. I hear the birds singing, and I am waiting for school to call to get directives on what to do with my classes today and tomorrow as I can't go back to work until Tuesday. I had myself a few little cries as I feel so horrid, and am depressed that I have no energy and sometimes wonder if I will ever get better.
I know it will, it did when I broke my ankle, but not before I had to deal with pain, solitude, a lot of lessons to be learned.
The procedure prep was brutal, probably compounded by the fact that I have been so sick for weeks. The procedure itself was fine. However, when I woke up...I was not aware that I would have severe abdominal pain, nor was I in any shape to see the high contrast vivid photographs of my colon, which showed a lot of blood and some other things which I could not decipher. They took a bunch of biopsies which made me bleed even more.
Larry took me home and played nurse the rest of the day. I still have very bad gas (they have to pump air into your intestines so they can see better) and am still not keeping anything in me for any length of time. And there is more, but I don't want to make people freak about colonoscopies. I am sure they are not bad when you aren't so sick.
I am off wheat, dairy, and trying to figure out what I can put into this fragile digestive system of mine. I am very tired and weak. Duh, no kidding....and have lost a good 5 lbs in the past several days. Part of that is departing with everything in my body, the other part is not being able to eat much.
So here is to a day of being gentle with myself, and doing only what I can do. Perhaps I will spend some of the 50.00 gift certificate from I Tunes that I got from Will for Xmas. I have already downloaded one of the Fleet Foxes Cd's, and want the other. Perhaps since I fixed my scanner I can also scan and sell some things as I need the money.
And be patient..in all senses of the word.
Patti O Recovery