On Toilets and Screen Memories....
All that talk about the toilet the other night spurred on some nasty nasty bug to get even worse in my body yesterday. I have not been right all week, and it culminated with a day of feeling quite poorly at work, and then I started running to the bathroom.......I had to cancel out on going out dancing to Sonando with my work buddies in the late afternoon, and head straight to bed. I was so happy that Tom put the door back on my bathroom, as I too often locked myself in there, not caring what shape the seat was, or that there was grout dust and Spackle all over the walls; I was just grateful the bathroom was a few feet from my bed.
I am better today, though weak. I hope to be able to get out and do my banking, shipping, and go buy mulch, plants, and get some more gardening done. I need to replenish my electrolytes, and eat something to get some strength back as I don't have much left.
I am posting a blog I wrote the other night on my art blog Catskillpaper. My personal and my art life are intricately intertwined. At times it is hard to not write about my art on this blog, or about my personal life on my art blog. This perhaps gives you a glimpse into my art mind....which never sleeps.
Today I got a brilliant flash of inspiration after therapy.
I make no bones about it. I have been undergoing therapy for years. And at the age of 50 I found the most amazing therapist, who has allowed me to tell all, in a setting of utmost comfort. She is a wise woman, a sage, a genius, a guide.
I had a really messed up childhood and early adulthood.
I was lucky that I was smart and found a way out of what many would still be mired in.I have forgiven, and I don't have pity parties. But what I want to do is understand why I have done what I have done, and why I do some of the things that I do. In that quest I hope to be able to live my life to the fullest, and be the best human and spiritual being that I can be. I know I can overcome that mountain of dreck, and therapy, as well as art, helps me climb it.
I want to get a few bodies of works together ..... each one having a different function.
The landscapes/sky/air shots serve one purpose, and are more easily sold to the public than the other body of work that I want to show. A bank, for example, will want my landscapes. A gallery on the other hand, may be the venue for my deeper, more intellectual work. (not to say that my landscapes aren't intellectual, they are just safer)
Inspired by tonight's session, I plan on calling one of my shows "Screen Memories" based upon the work of Freud.
I have been making "screen shots" of my "screen memories" for years in my mixed media work, never knowing what I was doing. It was subconscious, directed by my muse. The irony is that I have sold more of these personal monographs of my life than I have sold my landscapes. Both come from my heart, but perhaps the personal works reach out to others in a deeper way.
I must get into the studio.
"The time has come" said the walrus
"to speak of other things"....
The art...one of my series which I sold.
Patti O Healer