Patti Gibbons Art

I am writing early today as I plan on making the most out of the last day of the year. I don't make resolutions because I see no sense in the guilt that comes from breaking them. I do, however, have goals or mantras for my life, and the New Year is a good time to take a look at what is working, what isn't, and what my focus will be for the future. I promise myself that I will live a life full of sensuality. I will surround myself with things that make me feel wonderful; music, scents, friends, food, art, literature, long walks or hikes, adventure, travel. I will think prosperity rather than how I am going to pay the next bill. I will treat my body with love and respect, because "if I don't take care of my body, where else am I going to live?". (one of the best quotes I have seen on our firehouse sign). I will focus on what I did do, rather on what I didn't. I will love and respect every human being to the extent of my ability. I will be true to myself....

The title of tonight's blog was inspired by Alanna who looked out the window into the dark garden and turned to me and said "Mimi, the garden is sleeping!" I thought that this little two year old had made such a profound observation of the landscape. Though there is not snow yet (this photo was taken last year sometime in my garden) the garden is indeed sleeping. We should take our cues from the garden and the animals and hibernate for the winter, instead of traveling about in the cold and snow like a bunch of insane people. I for one would rather hibernate all winter in front of the fireplace and in my studio (which I keep very warm and cozy) and dream........ I had a house full of family for 8 hours today and I survived it. Somewhere between Christmas and New Year I host the yearly family get together. My sister and her family come from Westchester, my brother and his wife from the Boston area. My mother won't leave the nursing home anymore, and since I am the ...

I've been told that I should have hired myself out to the FBI as my sense of smell is so keen. I weird out my students and my family as I casually smell my art supplies and other things that pass through my hands. I don't smell everything, I am not that compulsive, but there are certain things that can't get by me without a quick sniff. I can trace my obsession with smell back to Christmas around 1962. I had a large box of 64 crayons (or close to that number) given to me with a few coloring books for Christmas. I loved anything art related, even back then, and I opened my gifts and stuck my nose into them, inhaling the smell of new crayons (Crayola of course--no store brands in this house in the crayon purchases!) and the smell of new, clean printed paper. I was in heaven. A year or so later I got a box of Venus Paradise colored pencils and some color by number boards, and I immediately stuck my nose into them. Ah...... So you KNOW what happens when I open up my art s...

My inspiration comes from the strangest places for this blog. Today's was while going though the automatic car wash. I had just come from a morning of baby and then taking myself out to do some things that I had put off for too long ie: shopping, bank, PO etc. I have not felt very social, and it sometimes takes a real effort to go into "the zone". I armed myself with some new music for the ride, and was prepared to experience it for what it was. While dropping clothes off at the "Sally" I met a gentleman about 15 years my senior. He said "I know you, but I don't know where from!" Of course my brain cells have derailed from time to time, and I do know A LOT of people from many different walks in my life. But he was right, it was no line, I did indeed know him. His face and personae had a familiar aura. He remembered it was from my job, where he had been in Adult Ed,(perhaps an adult reading course) and I was teaching in the next building. We w...

I had a lazy day, a trip out into town to buy some more panels to paint on, to the PO, and to buy more wine as I was having company over to partake in all the cheese and cookies I had. I got some time in the studio, and then spent the afternoon with my friends. Rob I have known since I was 19. We went through the death of our parents together, and art school. To this day we still paint together when we can. He is the teacher though now, and I the student. He tried to convince me not to marry my first husband, but I was young and a fool back then. We have been in touch on and off over the years, with long gaps in between, only to be thrown together again by fate, and we have sworn not to let so many years go by. Kip came over too and bought me some more wood for the winter (though we have not used the fireplace yet this year...); we have known each other for ten plus years. Larry and Kip actually dated the same woman at one point in time, but not at the SAME time, LOL. Funny h...

I am on a rant today about last night's Christmas dinner. (picture to follow..having numerous problems posting pics to this blog recently!) I am a decent cook. I learned how to cook at a fairly young age. When I was 16 and living in the heart of the Catskills I found myself knocking at the front door of the one and only local Inn that I could walk to. I wanted a job there, and got it! It was a private Inn which operated mostly on weekends and holidays. I was a bar back, a prep cook, a waitress, a chaimbermaid. I did it all and worked very hard from friday night through sunday afternoon, and then some hours during the week. I learned much about life during the 3 years I was there. I was pretty innocent at 16 and had my eyes opened in many ways, from getting my first kiss forced upon me in a corner by a big man who looked like Burl Ives (that was absoluley horrible I have to say), to falling in love for the first time, and lots about sex, drugs and disco.(an aside, I learned t...

I went to my brother in law's famous Swedish smorgasbord yesterday. 7 hours of an eat-and-drink fest. You start out with glugg, the next course is accompanied by red wine, then the next by a dark beer. After that, you drink Aquaveet, and if you make it past that, you drink your favorite of the four. I got punished yesterday for eating the Swedish meatballs before I finished all the fish dishes. The punishment? 3 shots of Aquaveet, which is like a vodka infused with the flavor of caraway. I would have preferred a spanking, but I quess the aquaveet was the next best thing. They all laughed at me later, as they said I had a rosy glow that only comes with imbibing the nectar of the Swedes. Personally, I think it was my hormones set off by the drink, but who cares. I was relaxed and laughing for the first time in days. Larry always dresses up as Santa for the little children, and they and the adults alike are thrilled when he makes his magical appearance and hands out stuffed t...

Last night late, after a few glasses of glugg, I finally got myself in the mood for decorating my poor tree. My bare tree was too much of a reflection of my soul as of late, with just a few lights perking it up. I put on one of my favorite CDs called In Search of Angels, and started hauling out the decorations. I put on the 2 or 3 dozen glass icicles that we bought from this little old man at a fair several years ago. Larry came in and reminded me that the man had died and he was so glad that he had purchased them from him. Thanks Larry for setting the tone for the evening! So with each icicle I hung I felt a deep sadness for this man who loved glass. When I got to two beautiful snowflakes made from porcelain, I remembered my friend Mary who gave them to me. She was one of the first people who loved me unconditionally right up to the day she died. She died very young of cervical cancer and was the most amazing role model for putting up a fight with dignity and love. I have a s...

I was visited by the muse of inspiration and problem solving today. I had wrote an email to a friend about visits from the muse of creativity, and how people and our interactions in life help form the vessel within us for such creativity. Divine inspiration strikes, and art is born. (my immaculate conception) So here I am, scanning a gift I made for my neice, and realized what my next zine will be. I have been ruminating on some sort of an Alphabet Book, but not one like a is for apple, b is for beast, but one based upon 1)those old Victorian verses (V was a vintner who drank all the wine--something like that) and 2) My own twisted left-of-center humor. I will design each alphabet after I write the poem. Those of you who have a copy of Eat Man Drink Water will know what they are in for. So what is H for? Heroic NOPE. Handsome? Maybe Horny? That might be part of it. Did you know that HORNEY (horny with an e inserted in it) was a German-born American psychoanalyst who emphasized ...

The day was a kaleidascope of emotion. I started the day with a headache, and the kids were foul. The holidays put so much pressure on us all, and I felt very distant from Christmas this year. The energy from the kids and staff was stagnant and struggling. I gave very few cards or gifts this year; only to those who have a special place in my heart. I have been making gifts as they embrace the true meaning of giving. They reflect my heart and the deep love that is involved in the act of creating them, whether creating a card, a mix of music, a collaged notebook. I try and pick out meaningful gifts, but it is not the same as something from my very being. What touched me most was I received gifts today that were priceless today; a hug from a friend, my dentist fixing a my tooth and after seeing my joy in his work, did not charge me and said "Merry Christmas". My cousin sent money for Megan and the baby, my girlfriend Annie gave me wine and made us cookies. Leah gave me...

I am in a room surrounded with many mirrors on all sides and at every angle. I have no choice but to see myself, a myriad of reflections in thousands of different pieces, the collective of which form the whole. The mirrors are magic; they reflect image and the heart, past and present. They reflect a lifetime of regrets, of pain, of joy, of love, of choices and paths. In order to see myself I must see each and every reflection. I can close my eyes to shut it out, but I cannot stay long in the dark. I must face the mirrors and look deep into the stories and find truth and meaning in it all. It was a very difficult day. A co-worker has a third occurance of cancer. It grew rapidly in a week. My son dated her daughter. It is too close to home with what is going on in my life. My son has called and excused himself out of Christmas altogether. I don't know why, but I suspect it comes from a place of fear, addiction, shame, and avoidance. How does one exist amoungst the canned Ch...

(Still having problems posting images...) At the end of the day I was working with my two favorite students and one of them requested some Motown. I had been cruising the internet radio channels looking for just the right music for this class and figured, why not? What a flashback to my days of youth. We were singing the songs, dancing, and painting. It was a riot to see 17 year olds groove to something I listened to back in the 70's. One of the students said that when she blasts the music in her car, she nearly runs into things. I laughed, because I had a flash back to being 19, driving, and having a few car crashes of my own. Because of the nature of the "circumstances of the crashes", you are going to have to fill in the blanks on how some of them might have happened. Some of you will never guess, some of you will groan and say OH NO, YOU DIDN'T. I don't know if any of my present readers remember me from this period. I think one or two of you do,. but n...

No matter how hard I try and have a peaceful day, something always seems to muck it up. I won't even get into details (how many times do I say this here?) but geez, I just want to scream! I came home from a massage and some time in the studio in a mellow relaxed state and got a phone call....... I am saving my money for a one way ticket out of here to some exotic island. And I am not answering the phone. I think I will play Gauguin, only from a female's point of view. A dear friend connected my old set of Altec Lansing speakers to my computer at work. The sound is amazing and I am SO happy to have quality sound for music in my room. I have a difficult job at times, and I spend about 8 hours a day in my classroom. I have it well equipped. Microwave, refrigerator, coffee grinder, coffee maker, computer, now a GREAT SOUND SYSTEM. I found a few online radio stations with FAB music that will keep me going for a while. I know how to take care of myself, and music is the balm...

I had to republish my blog to get the picture I wanted to post for this..it is 24 hours later, but heck, better late than never. A scarey picture from a 1927 book on Exodontia. Today was rather non-eventful, which is always good. I have enough little earthquakes to deserve peace now and then. I did have a dentist appointment after work for my check up. It had been two years as I cancelled my appointment last year after I broke my foot as I could not stand to be tortured and I had developed a phobia about pain. (ever feel like your foot has been caught in a bear trap for months??!!) I finally got the nerve up to go..and thank GOD my teeth are great. I have a small chip which they will fix, but everything else is FAB. Now I have this neurosis about teeth and mouth hygiene. I simply can't stand bad teeth, missing teeth, funky teeth or no teeth. I will sell EVERYTHING if I had to in order to have good teeth. So the dentist sticks this probe up into my gums and says WE ARE GOING TO LOO...

So now that I have your attention, you will have to read my blogs for a LONG time in order to find out the secret. Larry has been trying to figure it out for 13 years. I am sure it remains an enigma to him. Personally, I don't think it is rocket science. BUT before we get derailed here, back to the REAL STORY of the title. I was invited to my friend Barbara's party. She was my cooperating teacher while I was student teaching, and is one of the gifts that the universe has given me. She helped mold who I am as a teacher in regards to my energy, my organizational skills (those of you who have been in my room OR my studio---cut the laughter. I know just about where everything is..art is messy by nature!)how to prep, get kids in and out, how to nurture and fire up their imagination and get a successful product, and perhaps MOST of all, how to be your own free spirit, and not care what the rest of the eduational world thinks about you. I had no clue how to dress. I was feeli...

When I see you I want to tell you 1001 stories and the words that form ifwhenhowthennowherepleaseaseheal get stuck in a mire of sighs and whispers and form a chain which hangs heavily around my neck. Instead I talk about the weather, what art I sold, and tell you I am fine. What if you take this chain of words and memories, decipher and untangle the knots. Will you understand the pain, the passion, the joy and desire to live in white light? Or will I wear it, growing, twisting, stretching, till it breaks and the words fly away; a million scattered thoughts, memories, and dreams trampled in the dust .... copyright PA Gibbons please do not use without permission. Thanks Note: this poem has been gestating in the darkness of my bedroom while tossing and turning, influenced by people and events of the past few months. I have laid awake for hours, nights on end, words and images running through my brain into a little corner where I save them till morning. I awoke to the sun peeping in on ...

The original blog post was a poem filled with anger and pain and resentment. After hours of searching my soul I realized that this was pointless, unproductive, and I was giving my energy to a black space and I needed to shift gears. I realized that I have no control over what happens in life and I have to let it go. I sat in court for 5 hours today on a freezing cold bench awaiting the outcome of the assault charges my daughter filed on her fiance. To keep it brief, the court reduced the charges for him to aggrevated harassment. I was livid. I had gone in there hoping that after 20 years something might have changed. But it seems that if you can afford a good attorney you can get away with beating your wife or girlfriend. There is more to the story, but I would rather not bore you with the details. My Irish Scorpio temper got me riled up for a while, and it took a lot of strength to not shout at the judge in the court room. I took my cold aching ass out of there and hugged my...

I walk about these days feeling like a live wire, full of raw nerves, energy flying all around me. I can't say it is a bad feeling, as I feel alive and enjoy the tingling and electricity that emanates from my being. I wonder what my aura looks like; I am sure it is red and gold and I look like the grand finale at a July 4th celebration. Sometimes I wonder if someone touched me, would I shock them, or would I fly into a million pinpricks of light. I know what it is like to be shocked. Once I was making cookies at Christmas time, I put in the tray in the oven and it touched a live ungrounded element. (the landlord was my boyfriend at the time...he has long since been FIRED). I was on the phone, and got thrown across the room, I lay on the ground, not sure what had just happened to me. My friend is screaming "Patti, what has happened, are you OK????" while the cookies slid down the wall, leaving a trail like slugs after a rainstorm. I can't help but wonder if I...

First of all, it was blogspot, not me, that was out of order last night. I tried uploading last night's image from school, and it still did not work, so I figured there was a problem with the server. It uploaded now, so here is last night's photo! It is a bit dark, but that is OK, so am I at times. On the way home while listening to Nora Jones song Come Away With Me, I could not help but think about love in its many forms. I thought about Alanna and what she has taught me these past two years about myself. I have learned to put aside the incessant chatter in my head and in my life and focus on listening to her and meeting her needs instead my own. She thanks me for all that I do with her smiles, her words, with her hugs and kisses. I am filled with gratitude and love when I put her to bed and she nuzzles into me and kisses me and strokes my hair. I whisper "I love you" and she smiles, and answers "I love you too." There is nothing sweeter in the w...

A feeling of Christmas has many meanings when you work at a school like I do. When you work with at-risk youth and emotionally disturbed teens, this time of year can be rather difficult. A long break is coming and the holidays can be a time of disappointment, dysfunctional family gatherings, and bad bad things. Kids start to act out. You are trying to keep the class on task and humored, but it can get really tough. Things get thrown, someone is getting cursed out, the cute wonderful little darlings turn into full blown demons. And, when they are whispering HO HO HO behind your back, they are not pretending you are Mrs. Claus. I can empathize and normally have a lot of patience, but it is really tough when you haven't slept in 3 days, and you have your own dysfunctional family gatherings to look forward to, or some other heavy shit on your brain. Today was one day I could not bear the load. I realized that things were rapidly getting out of control and without my reining them in har...

In my search for something to write about tonite, I found a phrase by Kahil Gibran which states "Sadness is but a wall between two gardens." Yet if I am the wall, think of the beauty I gaze upon, and over time walls crumble and fall, and the gardens spill together. It is reminder that nothing is permanent and all things change with time. I know that without sadness we cannot know joy and empathy. Without pain there is no healing or growth. I must keep this perspective, for without it I would fall into an abyss of darkness and self pity. Music is the one balm that I reach for time and time again when I am sad. Some of my favorite hauntingly beautiful pieces are Ralph Vaughn Williams " Serenade to Music ", Samuel Barbers " Adagio for Strings" , Bruch's " Scottish Fantasy ". They are hot linked to Amazon and if you scroll down you can listen to samples of the music. Some of the most sensuous experiences in my life have been going to the Symphony...

This artwork was a part of a series of art works I created where I confronted the nightmares of childhood and spousal abuse. This particular piece is a mother grieving over the death of her child, being comforted by an angel. I had made the piece at a vulnerable time in my life when my children were on self destruct. I had worked hard to repair the damages from my past, and it grieved me to be able to do so little to help them. One of the biggest heartaches in my life is that I work with children every day, giving them love and safety and joy. I think I make a difference in their lives, yet I can't help my own children. I totally melted down last night, and it is ok, as it is a natural part of life. I started to get sick again, which scared me because I know I can't help anyone if I am not healthy. I did some necessary shopping, then spent the afternoon in bed drinking tea to heal myself. I had received several emails from friends whom I have known for years. My one ...

My friend Dave has been trying to send me this fractal he made for a week now. I finally got the file this morning, thought it perfect and inspirational for the days writing. Dave is my best friend's husband whom I have known for some 18 years or so. He also reads this blog on a regular basis (right Dave?) We have lots of history together over the years and he has always been a fun, kind, and loving guy. He is also a walking miracle, being a skydiver who has had two very bad accidents and is lucky to be alive. After a long recovery and surgeries he is mountain biking like a madman and puts me to shame when I even THINK about complaining about my own plates in my foot and leg. You are an inspiration Dave! This fractal remind me of the fire twirling I saw last night. I was amazed how the performers danced and twirled to the deep, earthy, sensual rhythm of music that they played from their VW bug. They danced around inside a circle of fire, they twirled and swirled like the lit...

One of the descriptive phrases in my blog is "living a sensuous life". Now many think that sensuality equates sexuality. Sexuality is a part of sensuality, but the term sensuality includes ALL the senses; taste, smell, hearing, touch, sight and feeling. (did I leave any out?) Da Vinci stressed the importance of fine tuning all of our senses in order to realize our potential. I try to live sensuality to its max. There are certain things in life that I must have on a daily basis. Fresh ground coffee, wonderful soap and shampoo, luscious lotion for my post shower body (essential during the cold winter months here in the northeast.), lovely underwear, good music, wonderful fine cotton sheets and a good down pillow. Oh, and a fantastic imagination. In the winter I love to wear velour, velvet, soft wools. When it is really cold I wrap myself in layers and on a snowy day love to trudge around the world in my Uggs. I start my day off pampering myself, getting my psyche ready ...

After every blog entry, usually late at night, I wonder, what am I going to write about tomorrow. I worry that I will be redundant, get boring, or run out of ideas. The reality is I cannot shut my brain off,therefore I have no problem with topics to blog about. By the time I sit down to write, I am battling with the various thoughts and feelings which are demanding to be front and center. I sit at the computer and start to write. The rest forms itself, much like my art. The muse visits and I run with her gifts. Who am I blogging for? I blog mostly for myself, but there is somewhat of a sensual exhibitionism I get from revealing layers of my personae. I have paid big bucks to therapists over the years to do this, and here I can do it for free. Of course, most of the time it is one-sided, and I still see a therapist to help me heal and get the most out of what life and genetics have given me, but the process is therapeutic on many levels. And, in my fantasy world, I will assemb...

Life is a gamble. I try to always expect nothing and if something good happens, then it is a wonderful thing. That way you don't set yourself up for disappointment. But being human, I get over enthusiastic and hopeful, only to be disappointed and crushed time after time. The human condition. Men have been some of my biggest disappointments. I tease my students and say "three strikes and I am switching teams!" They are abhorred. They are too young to be so glib and jaded. They haven't been left for another man or dumped for a fiance (I thought he was single!) Though I am out of the dating scene for a while now, I have other things that still disapoint me, bigger, more serious things. Like having sick and struggling children, missed opportunities in my life, broken promises, and dashed dreams. The trite but earth-shaking disappointment of today's bacon sandwich --- my nurturing soul food, which was burnt and wilted. I shake my head and say "it is wh...

This image is titled "Gibbons at Play", The Hsuan-te Emperor (1399-1435) dated 1427 Hanging scroll, ink and color on paper and came from the website asianart.com I usually don't use an internet image on my blog, but since this is over 500 years old, it might be ok and come under fair use. I just HAD to have a picture of a gibbons, and this was the best to be found and also it is beautiful. I have a counter on my blog and can track certain stats, like how many people do visit it, what part of the world they are from, how they found me etc. I saw that my blog was accessed as a link when someone asked (Jeeves?) "what do gibbons eat?". And, of course since my name is Gibbons, and the title of my blog is EAT MAN DRINK WATER, I came up in the search. And the person actually checked out my blog. Might have been a quick in and out, but it gave me a real chuckle when I read it. This gibbons tries to eat sensibly. I prefer to eat nothing from a can, nothing proces...

Didn't the Mamas and the Papas do that song? Sheesh, I am really dating myself here. When I think of songs like that I think of being on the playground in 5th grade in Catholic school, listening to the radio which was snuck in by one of the girls and we would listen discuss which one of the Beatles was the cutest. We talked in hushed voices as we feared the steel ruler that would come down upon us if we were discovered talking about boys. I remember being in third grade and saying that Bonnie and Clyde were naked in the movie. Someone else had passed that along, but when it got to me, someone told on ME and I got that steel ruler. I was used to getting hit, that was no matter, it was the betrayal by a classmate that smarted more. My very first betrayal was in the first grade. I was known as the "artist" even then. My writing was good so they gave me a word to write on the stone stoop with crayons. I was proud to be asked to write something for someone. I did not ...

Late night reporting here- but brief coverage. Just got back from a VERY long but gratifying weekend. The show and energy was great and I really got charged and upbeat doing it. There is a high that you get when people are stuffed into your booth and loving what you do. I create from my heart and magic that is given to me from some divine being (God, Buddha, Allah, etc. take your pick for a diving being-I commit to none and all if that makes any sense) I also bought a few very special pieces which I will put on the blog in the next night or two. A fabulous blown glass necklace and my Buddha shrine. They are both superb. They are worth at least 2-3 pairs of shoes LOLOL. I am sipping wine, musing, tired. I am smiling. I am thankful. I have been graced with interacting with the most wonderful people in the world. Perhaps some year I will rent a booth and just have an anti-sale party all weekend long, feed all people and sell nothing, and give things away.??? As it is I give much ...

What a gift today was to me. After a difficult day yesterday, I was blessed with a day of seeing old friends, and meeting new people. The show (at the New Paltz Middle school on Main Street in New Paltz, NY) is one of the best in the area and have wonderful fine art and craft. Though it is small, it is full of quality items. Each year I feel like it is homecoming. Many of the vendors have been coming there for years. From handmade and designed clothes, jewelry, assemblage/shadow boxes to weavers and people spinning wool, it is a really wonderful intimate atmosphere. Every year some of the same people come to say hi. They don't always buy but is just fine. I have met some of the most wonderful men and women at that show and we hug and we are grateful for another year. I see customers with their children another year older and have watched them grow and blossom over the past 10 years. Sales were great in spite of my stock being low. Illness and family have kept me from prod...

Today was tumultuous whether is was emotion or the weather. I felt that it was a metaphor for the journey I am about to embark upon. I woke up angry this morning. I had another dream which did not end so well. I hate when I wake up with the remants of nightmares clinging to me like the webs of a spider. My day ended with therapy and it was a tough session. A session about sickness and helplessness and the possibility of death and loss on many levels. I did not want to hear it. I wanted to put my fingers in my ears and sing the entire time to myself. Though it is not Peg's style to project, nor mine for that matter, there were certain things that I needed to face as things at home are quite unstable and fragile. I had gone in so glib and strong, and left out frail and damp. On the way home I witnessed a horrid storm over our city. I never saw lightning that went horizontally, ripping through the sky at a frightening pace. There were tornado warnings across the river from us. ...

Today was an interesting day on a cerebral level. I am fortunate to have a very active imagination that allows me to go to many different worlds when I don't want to be in the present situation whether due to boredom, frustration, a just a need to go on a vacation in my head. Daydreaming gives us endless, colorful, and exciting possibilities that might never exist in the real world. My night times dreams are as vivid as my day dreams, only they are more surreal and unpredictable. Today was filled with dreams on all levels. Right before i woke up I had a dream that I was going to get a massage from Marlon Brando. The YOUNG Marlon Brando. I googled him as a young man. He was hot. I was excited as someone had told me that he was quite interested in me. In my dream it didn't matter that I was married. It was he and I and everyone else was going to take a hike. I go into the room and there he is, in all his late life splendor; old, overweight, and in the dream he was miss...