Life is a Gamble

Life is a gamble. I try to always expect nothing and if something good happens, then it is a wonderful thing. That way you don't set yourself up for disappointment. But being human, I get over enthusiastic and hopeful, only to be disappointed and crushed time after time. The human condition.

Men have been some of my biggest disappointments. I tease my students and say "three strikes and I am switching teams!" They are abhorred. They are too young to be so glib and jaded. They haven't been left for another man or dumped for a fiance (I thought he was single!) Though I am out of the dating scene for a while now, I have other things that still disapoint me, bigger, more serious things. Like having sick and struggling children, missed opportunities in my life, broken promises, and dashed dreams. The trite but earth-shaking disappointment of today's bacon sandwich --- my nurturing soul food, which was burnt and wilted. I shake my head and say "it is what it is" and know it is all out of my control. Other's actions, health, love.

I don't know how the human spirit survives. Sometimes I wish I WERE a monkey, because I don't think monkeys think about such things or care.

Tonight's artwork is titled "The Lottery", an appropo piece for tonight's thoughts. Clowns are strange and a bit scarey. This one looks like the spawn of Stephen King. The original was bought for a doctor's birthday by his wife. They LOVE the piece. They got it. (another disappointment, when people don't get my art work)

I have made it this far and I keep the faith that I am still going to win BIG in life. Perhaps I already have and don't realize it. I lay all my chips on the table and keep going for the big one, armed with my first aid kit- a smile and my humor.
And hey, where does one get a great bacon sandwich?

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