The Power of Love

First of all, it was blogspot, not me, that was out of order last night. I tried uploading last night's image from school, and it still did not work, so I figured there was a problem with the server. It uploaded now, so here is last night's photo! It is a bit dark, but that is OK, so am I at times.

On the way home while listening to Nora Jones song Come Away With Me, I could not help but think about love in its many forms. I thought about Alanna and what she has taught me these past two years about myself. I have learned to put aside the incessant chatter in my head and in my life and focus on listening to her and meeting her needs instead my own. She thanks me for all that I do with her smiles, her words, with her hugs and kisses. I am filled with gratitude and love when I put her to bed and she nuzzles into me and kisses me and strokes my hair. I whisper "I love you" and she smiles, and answers "I love you too." There is nothing sweeter in the world. Sometimes I have to turn away so she does not see the sadness in my face when I let my thoughts slip away and wish that I had that as a child, and that I was able to take the time to give like this to my own children. But that is all the past, and I am grateful for what I can give now.

It has taken many years to learn how to love. I don't think I experienced much unconditional love save from friends and a handful of men who never gave up on me. Over the years I learned that I could never love anyone until I learned to love myself. Once I learned how to love it opened the portal to light and fulfillment beyond my dreams. I have learned to say I am sorry, and learned when to bite my tongue. (ok, most of the time..) I try not to be angry, and try to forgive those who have hurt me.

I still face a few challenges in my life; I want to have a relationship with my higher power whom I shut out a long time ago. Without a connection to something spiritual I fear I cannot reach my potential in love, and I want to learn how to love my chidren as I should have 20 years ago when I was too damaged to love. I know it is never too late to love anyone and I hope that my sick daughter will embrace my love and that the power of love will transform her too, no matter what the outcome of her cancer may be.

I find love in unusual places and look forward to each and every day because of it. I love you all...because any of you who read this must have love in your hearts too. Shalom, patti


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