You are my Angels

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This artwork was a part of a series of art works I created where I confronted the nightmares of childhood and spousal abuse. This particular piece is a mother grieving over the death of her child, being comforted by an angel. I had made the piece at a vulnerable time in my life when my children were on self destruct. I had worked hard to repair the damages from my past, and it grieved me to be able to do so little to help them. One of the biggest heartaches in my life is that I work with children every day, giving them love and safety and joy. I think I make a difference in their lives, yet I can't help my own children.

I totally melted down last night, and it is ok, as it is a natural part of life. I started to get sick again, which scared me because I know I can't help anyone if I am not healthy. I did some necessary shopping, then spent the afternoon in bed drinking tea to heal myself.

I had received several emails from friends whom I have known for years. My one friend Lois, took care of my daughter 2 weeks after she was born so that I could go back to work. She wrote to me last night and said "You have been an inspiration, and an amazing example of what it is to play the hand that destiny has dealt you and push through. I admire you more than I have probably ever expressed. You have been one of the single most reasons that I will never give up. The strength of a Angel...." That touched me so and made me cry. Other friends are cooking for Megan so she can eat well, others take me out for a drink and some fun. YOU all are my angels, how could I have strength without you? You are my light, my warmth, my source of love and joy. You have all seen me as the epitome of strength in times of great pain and difficulty, but without you I would not have made it. May your love come back tenfold.

Speaking of Angels, one of my favorite holiday CD's is called "In Search of Angels". From Tim Story, KD Lang, various choirs, and Patty Larkin, the CD is one of comfort and peace. I am momentarily transported to another realm. In my dreams I have been there, great places of light and warmth. In my dreams I did not want to come back to earth. Sometimes I wonder if they are actually dreams..as I believe there are other realms, other dimensions to the physical plane we live in, and I yearn to explore and seek them out. In the meantime books, music, art and dreams are my transports to other worlds. Also for those of you who like Christmas music, I bought Larry the new Sarah McLaughlin holiday CD. It is quite nice. She has a beautiful voice, and her live performances are fabulous. (saw her at the Beacon some years ago)

So all my angels, great peace and love to you all. You know who you are. I send a kiss to each one of you, and a piece of my heart. patti

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