Fire Twirlers, Fire Starters and other such things

My friend Dave has been trying to send me this fractal he made for a week now. I finally got the file this morning, thought it perfect and inspirational for the days writing.

Dave is my best friend's husband whom I have known for some 18 years or so. He also reads this blog on a regular basis (right Dave?) We have lots of history together over the years and he has always been a fun, kind, and loving guy. He is also a walking miracle, being a skydiver who has had two very bad accidents and is lucky to be alive. After a long recovery and surgeries he is mountain biking like a madman and puts me to shame when I even THINK about complaining about my own plates in my foot and leg. You are an inspiration Dave!

This fractal remind me of the fire twirling I saw last night. I was amazed how the performers danced and twirled to the deep, earthy, sensual rhythm of music that they played from their VW bug. They danced around inside a circle of fire, they twirled and swirled like the little spits of fire that crackle forth from a huge bonfire. It was so primal and I kept thinking that if I were doing that, I would set myself on fire and crack my head open with the twirlers. What made it even more amazing was the contrast of fire and the cold 20 degree weather outside. We could see our breath, I danced in place with the beat of the music to keep warm, and feel connected to the earth. It was such an experience and I absorbed it with my entire being.

There are times I feel like one with the fire. Passion, desire, creativity all burn within me. The passion of love and lust and living life to its fullest, desire for knowledge and connecting with others whose own fiery essence inspires and excite me.
I have to be careful when I play with the fire I encounter in life as I painfully aware of the possiblity of burning or getting burnt, and have to find that place in the fire where I can play and still be safe. You know that place, the place in the flame that you can pass your hand through and not get burned.

I have encountered a few fire starters in my life. There are those who burn with a bright flame and then burn themselves out, there are the fires that never quite get hot enough to enjoy. There are the steady burners that provide heat and warmth and light for our entire lives. Those are the ones I like best, though the others have their own purposes in our lives.

I had the baby all day and Megan just left. We had a long talk about her health and her cancer. It was very intense. They have consulted with Sloan Kettering and the doctors agreed not to operate unless the tumor keeps growing. Then the surgery will be complicated, she will be in the hospital for a very long time and lose massive amounts of weight. She weighs 115 as it is. It would be a last ditch effort. In the meantime she will be getting xrays every three weeks to keep track of the tumor's growth and be getting pumped full of chemo. It is very frightening for this 22 year old mother. It is frightening for me. We have to pray that the chemo works. I had a melt down and cried my eyes out. I think Larry feels quite helpless and tries to be so positive. I hate it when he is like that.

May you have lots of fire in your life and have plenty of kindling to keep your own fire burning bright, Patti


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