A Feeling of Christmas

A feeling of Christmas has many meanings when you work at a school like I do. When you work with at-risk youth and emotionally disturbed teens, this time of year can be rather difficult. A long break is coming and the holidays can be a time of disappointment, dysfunctional family gatherings, and bad bad things. Kids start to act out. You are trying to keep the class on task and humored, but it can get really tough. Things get thrown, someone is getting cursed out, the cute wonderful little darlings turn into full blown demons. And, when they are whispering HO HO HO behind your back, they are not pretending you are Mrs. Claus.

I can empathize and normally have a lot of patience, but it is really tough when you haven't slept in 3 days, and you have your own dysfunctional family gatherings to look forward to, or some other heavy shit on your brain.

Today was one day I could not bear the load. I realized that things were rapidly getting out of control and without my reining them in hard, I was looking forward 8 more days of pure hell. So I put on my scorpio bitch hat and plowed through the day.

It was exhausting. All I wanted was a massage and a martini or a bloody mary or any thing to take the edge off. I had to settle for my chiropractor (who is wonderful, but I can't get a massage out of him) and a little walk in town.

I did manage to pick up a few gifts, took a nice stroll in the crisp air, and stopped into my friend's music store and my other friends gift shop. A few hugs and well wishes later I headed home. Damn, no wine, no beer, just tomato juice. OK, a Virgin Mary. Did not quite do the job. I called Larry. "Look", I tell him. "I got your sister her Christmas gifts, so can you PLEASE pick up a bottle of wine? I've run out of steam". He said he wasn't sure if the liquor store was open. I told him "what kind of a liquor store closes before 9 pm?!" Touche` says the demon in my ear. "no wine, no dinner!" sneers the other demon. (I am just having a flashback to a David Chapelle show...LOL) Man, I have GOT to calm down. SHUT UP I tell them, and flick them off my shoulders.

While waiting for the wine I decided to take a festive photograph of the outside of my house. Found the digital camera, found the card, the card reader. WHAT NO BATTERIES??? Off to search for some. Tried everything. The calculator, the scale, hmm...where else do I have batteries? Damn, those are dead too. Sigh. Ah, some in the freezer. NO WAY --- only 3? STILL READING NO CHARGE. OK. I give up. Find the battery charger and hope that the batteries I put in there are rechargables.

Finally, a photo of the house, the side door, complete with gargoyle. After all of this, I am trying to post to my blog, and something is wrong with the site. No picture, not loading. The demons are back and are dancing on the keys in a very angry manner. Eventually I will get the photo on.....augh.

I think I need a hot bath. The demons need to leave me now, and I plan on finding some quite music (Rasa is beautiful soothing music to listen to...check out the CD Temple of Love.

Larry bought home the wine, I cooked a nice dinner (shrimp in lemon, celery, garlic and butter, with organic sweet potatoes) and am beat. So this is the feeling of Christmas?

Cheers, Patti


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