The Process of Writing

After every blog entry, usually late at night, I wonder, what am I going to write about tomorrow. I worry that I will be redundant, get boring, or run out of ideas. The reality is I cannot shut my brain off,therefore I have no problem with topics to blog about. By the time I sit down to write, I am battling with the various thoughts and feelings which are demanding to be front and center. I sit at the computer and start to write. The rest forms itself, much like my art. The muse visits and I run with her gifts.

Who am I blogging for? I blog mostly for myself, but there is somewhat of a sensual exhibitionism I get from revealing layers of my personae. I have paid big bucks to therapists over the years to do this, and here I can do it for free. Of course, most of the time it is one-sided, and I still see a therapist to help me heal and get the most out of what life and genetics have given me, but the process is therapeutic on many levels. And, in my fantasy world, I will assemble all these musings and have fodder for a bunch of books and articles I want to write when I have more time to do that. There is never enough time.......

Which leads on to the subject of censorship. I find myself having to censor what I what I write, which is probably a good thing. One of my students was discussing the possibility of tapping into brain waves, putting them into a computer so that it could speak your thoughts. We talked about how bad that would be! Can you imaging having something spitting out every thought that you have in your head? OY!

One steps into another realm when you discuss the passions of the human heart. People can be hurt, others shocked. I have no intention to hurt anyone, and some things are better left unsaid even though they are screaming to get out. BUT MAN DO I WANT TO REALLY TELL SOME GOOD STORIES AND WHAT I REALLY THINK because on some level, we all have those stories, we all think similar thoughts, and it is the sharing that makes us human and connected.

Maybe I should have a pen name like Anne Rice did.

Back to earth. The photo. This was taken last saturday night at an art opening by my friend Tibor. Tibor and his wife are amazing people, his story is a must read,about his escape from the Nazis as a Jew in Slovakia in his biography on his website titled ART AS WITNESS Be sure to visit his artwork when you are done. In spite of great pain and suffering Tibor lives his life with gusto, and gives the best hugs in the world.

Tibor carries his camera around everywhere and always takes a picture of me. He has documented my summer of the wheelchair, of my gallery openings, and of me and my lovely little angel of a grandchild. Thank you for giving me strength through your character and attitude. And for taking beautiful commemorative photographs.

Off to German class...I blogged intead of napping, so I must leave soon to pick up beer (my turn I think) and get gas. I am a bit tired, but glad that I blogged before, rather than after class. I spend a lot of time thinking and tweaking to get this done.

Thanks, my readers, for being there and all feedback is welcomed.

Patti (the 1/2 Lithuanian)

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