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Showing posts from November, 2006

That's What it Is

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Today was an interesting day on a cerebral level. I am fortunate to have a very active imagination that allows me to go to many different worlds when I don't want to be in the present situation whether due to boredom, frustration, a just a need to go on a vacation in my head. Daydreaming gives us endless, colorful, and exciting possibilities that might never exist in the real world. My night times dreams are as vivid as my day dreams, only they are more surreal and unpredictable. Today was filled with dreams on all levels. Right before i woke up I had a dream that I was going to get a massage from Marlon Brando. The YOUNG Marlon Brando. I googled him as a young man. He was hot. I was excited as someone had told me that he was quite interested in me. In my dream it didn't matter that I was married. It was he and I and everyone else was going to take a hike. I go into the room and there he is, in all his late life splendor; old, overweight, and in the dream he was miss

MY BLOG IS BACK

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I tried sending my blog to the new beta blog site on google last night. I am not sure what happened, I am not even sure it is even on the new beta site. I am just glad my blog is back. All I know is that for a 24 hour period I could not access my blog. Things changed, names, passwords, ways to get there etc. and I lost it. I broke down and cried. I have been blogging faithfully since the summer and had put tons of time and energy into it, only to lose it in cyberspace?! A tekkie told me that once in a while they escape and go partying. Well, I don't care where my blog went as long as it is back, like a wayward child, safe and sound. Speaking of wayward children, this is a picture of both of my children before they joined the military. Yes, I know it is blurry. My husband is a photographer and out of the whole role of film, this was his favorite shot. Sometimes he throws things out of focus on purpose. This has an eerieness and an impermanance to it. Megan, my daughter,

The Holiday Edition of Getting to Know You

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My friend forwarded me the 2006 Holiday edition of "Getting to Know You". Normally I delete forwards, and don't do chains or such, but I always LOVE to read and answer various questions and send them back to my friends. So, in keeping with my habit, I answered this one and sent it into the world. Thought I would include it here so you too can know more about me. Feel free to fill it out and send it onto my blog too! I LOVE learning things about people! 1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Cocoa-homemade of course 2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps 3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? WHITE ONLY 4. Do you hang mistletoe? I hang it around my waist 5. When do you put your decorations up? after Thanksgiving--usually Larry's job cause I am busy making things for shows. 6. What is your favourite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? PLEASE--I can't just pick ONE. Ok all the snacks I eat BEFORE the dinner, especially pickled

A Day in the STuDio

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I had a bit more energy today-good thing as I have so much work to do in preparation for the show. I made a trip to Michaels to get some supplies for both my work and for school. We are studying Roman art, so I decided to do a mosaic frame with the kids. For 1.00 each, I got a wood frame that they can mosaic onto with pieces of glass that I have. I have tons of "cullet" which is pieces of glass that are too small to use in stained glass projects, but PERFECT for making frames. They usually enjoy the project, and it will provide them with something that they can give as a gift too. I finished a few encaustic ornments (on Etsy and some on Ebay) and made a dozen cards, and worked on some other ornaments. Things are a mess in my studio and it is hard to believe that somehow by the end of the week I will have everything together for a show! YIKES. I don't have much time, and tomorrow I have a wake to go to, and Megan needs help with the baby. Great grandma has been babys

Self Portrait

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This monkey sort of looks how I feel-or if you ask Larry, he might even say that it really looks like me. Lookin' hangdog from lack of sleep, carrying my Breathe Deep tea around. Hey, you know, forget the BREATHE DEEP, how about BREATHE? I would settle for breathing never mind deep. Deep makes me cough up a storm. LOL. BUT the codeine worked and I slept for the first time in a week! I stopped by the art supply store as I needed more blank cards for my show, and found these great wood panels that have sides and if you prime and paint the entire thing you just need 2 hooks and a wire and TA DA! (as Alanna says) I am excited as I can collage on them, paint, do encaustics, etc. Even relief work. As long as you paint/finish the 1" or so edge, you can hang it on a wall! I have to figure out how to make at least 4 of them by next weekend for my show. I have lost so much time in the studio due to being sick. But I always surprise myself as I have art all over the place and I

BLACK FRIDAY

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Black friday-people lining up at the doors of the malls waiting for the stores to open as the sun began to grace the sky with its presence. I have never been part of the ritual; I don't have the patience. Instead, I opened up a few catalogs, marked what I was interested in and will shop online instead. I hate crowds, I hate circling the parking lot looking for a spot like a hawk zeroing in on its prey. I had to go back to the doctor to get some REAL cough medicine...one that will work- with codeine. I was so nauseaus today as I was filled with the tinctures and potions of both ancient and modern medicine. I have decided that I cannot stomach Cod Liver Oil by the spoon; I need to find an alternative way to ingest it. The homeopathic cough syrup tastes HORRID and the zithromax is wrecking havoc with my digestive system. Is not being sick enough without being tortured by medicines? I dragged myself over the Hudson to Rhinebeck which was bustling with shoppers on the main drag. Fo

SPAM NEVER SLEEPS

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It is late and we got home from dinner and I had to spend some time trying to outfit my daughter for work tomorrow as she and Alanna are staying here so I can watch Alanna while she gets up at 5 and goes to work at her job in the local mall. She is a waif (a beautiful waif) and I am a bit heavier than she is, so it is always difficult to find clothes that both fit her and that she likes enough to wear in public. (22 vs 49) After 1/2 hour of tearing thru closets and drawers we managed to find both clothes and shoes. (she had her own pants. No way would mine ever fit her) It saved her a trip home and an hour. It was fun and she looked lovely. And, quality mother/daughter time, so important at this stage in our life. I opened my email to find more spam. Sad to think that someone, on Thanksgiving, is still hitting the SEND button to spam millions. Everything from drugs, requests for money, mortgage deals, sex toys, blah blah blah was in my mailbox. Delete, delete, delete. The saving

Kindness and Salted Plums

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I was pretty sick today. I dragged myself to Ken, my chiropractor who re-adjusted my neck which was a MESS from sleeping on stacked pillows and coughing non-stop for days. He recommended lots of ginger which I have been sipping and ingesting all along, and COD LIVER OIL. Now I remember Cod Liver Oil from all the old books I had read. It was stuff that kids were forced to take by their mothers and it was gross and noone liked it. Turns out that in the Victorian era, kids were forced to take an emulsion of it which probably stunk to high heaven and tasted similar to its smell. Back in the day they did not have the lemon flavored variety I guess. On the way home I stopped by my neighborhood sushi restaurant- KYOTO. I craved some clear soup and some kind of spicy roll-Mexican roll being my favorites; crunchy salmon with rice and spicy sauce. While waiting, the hostess, Connie, set me up with a hot cup of tea, then proceeded to bring me something that they take in their country when

Pretty in Pink

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Tonites art is a card that I made from an antique print which is decorated with 100 year old plus glitter. I helped it along with some vintage pink trim and a piece of German gold metal decoration Non-denominational, perfect for saying Happy Holidays. (In my ebay store). I am really tired and sick and heading to bed. Went to the doc today and the doctor said BRONCHITIS, which did not surprise me as I already knew that. After years of having bronchitis and pneumonia, I can tell when the junk goes to my chest. Since I was a child I have always had bad lungs. I remember having to do these exercises that were supposed to make my "underdeveloped lungs" grow. I had to touch my toes, and as I came up take a deep breath, then let it go. As I think of it, I was doing yoga at 6! I missed tons of time in 2nd and 3rd grade due to bronchitis which I would get every 3 weeks. I think it was my bodies reaction to stress as a child, and it still happens now. I have ONE fond memory of

Creeping Thru the Day

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I hardly slept all night again as I was choking on the "crud" and in spite of the cold meds, I could not sleep. I am afraid to take my ambian in the event that I don't wake up if I am choking. Probably my neurosis, but I want to know if I am unable to breathe. I hardly take them, and it has been months since I needed them. So I was up at 4, pacing around, trying not to wake up the household, perseverating whether or not I should call in sick. The problem with being an art teacher and taking a sick day is the lesson plans. I teach 5-6 different classes, and it can literally take at least an hour to do lesson plans so that the sub survives, the kids don't wreck their art or rob me blind. I HATE doing sub plans. Let me repeat I HATE DOING SUB PLANS. And, almost every time I am out, there is some huge disaster. I work with at-risk teens who behave when I am there because they know my limits and do respect me, but when there is a sub, WATCH OUT! So I went to work

Slow Movin' Day

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The crud is still in my throat and now has moved to my lungs. I actually had to lie down for a few hours as I was tired and my chest hurt. I have no idea what the hell this is....allergies, or some strange illness, but I think I am going to HAVE to call the doc. I did not get much art done today. Redid my etsy banner, put in a few new things to that shop, a few new cards in the Ebay shop, tried to fix my website but that did not work out (just checked, links still not working etc.) and did some work in the studio, but not too much. Megan dropped Alanna off so that she could spend some time with her friend. Dinner and movie. I figured why not, the poor kid doesn't get out much and she may not be getting out much other than work once chemo starts. She has an oncologist appointment tuesday and a surgeon appointment on friday. I can only hope it goes as well as it can. That is probably why I am sick. The stress and sadness of it all. Thank God there are only 2 days of school th

Encaustic Workshop

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Today's workshop at R and F Encaustics was a good distraction from my life. I spent a few hours making ornaments (or trying to figure out how) for my upcoming holiday show. I made a set of 5 ornaments which combined hand painted lithographs from 1835 with encaustic on a small wooden rectangle. I still have to drill and add the chain, but this is one of the pieces. They all look pretty cool, and I was pleased with the outcome considering I only had a few hours to figure something out. If you live in the area, they offer mini-workshops for 40.00 for a class that is 4 hours long, AND you get to use their set up and materials! It is one of the areas best kept secrets. The process is quite complex and hard to control. An over simplification of the process is that you paint with liquid wax onto an absorbant ground, and fuse with heat. You can collage with papers, and do transfers etc., but it is hard to control it and get something good. I have done this workshop several times a

A Difficult Evening

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Today was Larry's birthday. I tried to make it joyful and light, but I think I failed. How could it be successful after today? I have been remiss in disclosing my source of angst the past week. I could not deal with it, and it give me insight on how my daughter has not been able to deal with it. Thank God I had therapy tonight. Though it hit me in the head and heart with such force, the facts and the plan were necessary. I broke down a few times today. I tried not to do it in front of my students. But how was I to cope? Last week my daughter informed me that she has a cancerous tumor. She is quite ill, the tumor is in a place they can't operate. They can't do radiation as she won't be able to eat and she weighs not much more that 100 lbs as it is now. She is 22, has a 2 year old and has been sick ever since she came back from Iraq. Enough said about that. No sense on blaming anyone at this point. The story is complex and I don't have the energy to tell it r

RUN LOLA RUN

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I did not want to go to German tonight. I was tired, it was POURING out, the wind was whipping around the house, and I would have rather locked myself in the studio. Yet once I got there, I unwound a bit, and we started watching a new movie WITHOUT the English subtitles, Run Lola Run. A surreal movie which we have not finished, but it is a movie about the different possibilites that could happen in life, and about questions which lead to answers which lead to more questions und so weider. I am hoping the movie ends on a happy note; thus far the two scenarios are rather grim. Imagine if we could re-run certain events in our lives and and change any number of factors, and view those outcomes, then pick the one that worked best and go from there? I sat and thought about which major things would I want to go back to and change one decision, one move, one word. I could not help think back to when I met my first husband. What if I never went to that bar that night? What if I left him t

Another Rainy Morning

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I did not post last night. It was an evening where I wanted to take a bath, I wanted to post, I wanted to list a few things on ebay, but I did nothing. I did take the phone upstairs, along with a glass of wine, and called a few close people to talk. I needed to talk to work out some angst I am having. I have therapy tomorrow, (good thing)and am trying to deal with life's injustices as best as possible. I did some work in the studio, got some glass slide ornaments foiled and ready for soldering, and try every day to get SOMETHING done for my upcoming fair. I have tons of work to do in the next few weeks and feel a bit overwhelmed, but my work is something that is difficult to hire someone to help me with. I have to go shower and get ready for my day. Another day of rain, more flood watches, and another day that I have to pray that the water does not flood my studio! I picked all perishables off the floor last night, but even with everything in plastic, something always gets r

Tree Farm

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This is the last of the sketches I made in the car this weekend. Done with oil pastels on watercolor stock, then lightly brushed with Turpenoid and scratched into, the latter part done on my studio. I don't travel with it turpenoid in a cup as I would confuse it for my car drink, so I leave using that to a controlled setting. (once I swigged a bottle of beer while I was fishing, only to realize too late that it was filled with creekwater and fish scales. PLEWGH.) It was a cute stand of trees -- it was a Christmas Tree farm, many of them lined up like little soldiers on the hill sides. They were so sweet and small and the world looked like a miniature surreal landscape; something you would put in your model railroad set up. (Lord, I LOVED my father's old train set and pieces that were set up every Christmas) Art has been going well for me. I am making enough to pay my business bills, and even got an inquiry into a larger piece that one of my customers saw in my studio. Even

Retired Cornfields

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I made it through the day. A few tears wept on route to work, a few more in school, but cleverly hidden behind my reading glasses and glances away. I had little to say today, and I am sure the kids were glad that I was less than my usual chatty self as it was monday, and they were all draggin butt. They welcome the break though some of them enjoy or perhaps even respect my energy and drive. Today was a day of reflection and work. They seem to take it in stride when I need space; I have to remember to give them theirs when THEIR worlds crash down upon them. Later this evening I joined up with Leah my co-worker for sushi. She was meeting me and was a bit late but that was fine. I had a book in hand and promptly ordered a glass of wine and settled in for some quiet time --- the first of the day. WHen she arrived, an entire table do food was served as she had called ahead and ordered - instant sushi gratification! That was a first for me and she made me smile. We shared some intim

Stockbridge Church

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It is sunday night and I am wiped. I am disturbed over some bad news. Sometimes I feel like a spectator observing a Fellini or Tarkovsky film. I wish that were all that I was; an outside observer, not a participant in the drama that unfolds like a prism; a constant reflection of my life past and present with its endless facets and possibilities. Life forces us to go places that palpate and grope at the tender and hidden areas of the heart and psyche. And it sqeezes. I always go back to a place where art exists. It calms the nerves and fills the mind with color and form and life and stories. Art can be such a voyeuristic journey into the very essence of an artist. The show at the Norman Rockwell Museum titled "More Than Words: Illustrated Letters from the Smithsonian’s Archives of American Art" was an afternoon where I immersed myself into the hearts,minds and passions of artists such as Frida Kahlo (complete with her red luscious lipstick kisses on the letter and art),

Sketch 1 - on the Taconic

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It is very late so I will keep this relatively short tonite, short for me hahaha. The mini vacation was wonderful, we managed to get to Williams College Museum yesterday and to the Norman Rockwell Museum today. The weather was splendid, the temperatures warm, and we kept our escape as free from stress as possible. For me, that is work at times. Both art shows were inspiring. I hungrily devoured the art I saw; the ancient artifacts of the Civilizations I cover in part one of my Studio Art 1 class, the textures and color of oil paintings, and the wonderful illustrations on letters done by various artists from the Smithsonian Collection. I made a few sketches as passenger in the car. I find that if forces me to be more spontaneous and loose as I have to work fast. The essense of the impression is caught rather than the detail. I hope to work these into larger pieces eventually, but I love to sketch and paint in the car. This piece was done on the Taconic Parkway. I made it befor

Birthday in the Berkshires

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Off to have breakfast with Megan and Alanna, then I am heading to the Berkshires for a few days to celebrate my 49th and Larry's 56th. I will be reporting back with information on the art shows at Williams College and at the Norman Rockwell Museum. Both promise to be intereting, as well as any other adventures we might encounter. See you all tomorrow night! patti

Loss of a Friend

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On the way home I stopped by the local arts society to pick up some artwork and visit my friend who works there. Much to my surprise my friend Rob was there, whom I had not seen in a month or two. We go back 30 years as students in art school. We have been through some difficult times in each others lives; death of a parent when we were 19, some very painful heartaches, and now dubious health issues. There have been periods of time where we have not seen each other in years, but in spite of his traveling around the world, we have reconnected at various points in time, and have a comforting and caring friendship. He told me today of the death yesterday morning of one of our mutual friends, a man whom I have spent many afternoons swimming, playing croquet, having drinks, dining, and conversing about the state of our lives, of mankind, and our kids. He died of a heart attack, a man not that much older than myself. He was a man who loved to live life to its fullest, sometimes too mu

FAB ANTIQUE COLLAGE

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There was a booth at the postcard show that had the most exquisite and expensive ephemera and books. Books about the photographers who took the photographs of the Adirondacks in the early 1900's for "REAL PHOTO" postcards. The history of these photographs which started around 1907 can be found in one of my favorite online free encyclopedias Wikipedia I have linked it so that it goes to the history of real photo postcards if you are interested. I was talking to this most lovely woman and told her I was a collage artist. She then proceeded to take out her collection of cards that were like the one I posted. She had them in postcard and calling card size. Due to my budget (damn budgets) I bought one that I am going to use as a business card. The collage is made of old US stamps from the first quarter of the 20th century and was probably made in Japan. Each card was meticulously well done and they were in great condition. I regret not asking for her card. I did leav

The Election Dinner

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I did not write last night as I got home late and had too much wine to have the energy to blog. A long day at school, and a busy one after too. Post Office, vote, chiropractor, masseuse, a hystercial phone call from my daughter because she lost her job (what is she going to do now- sick and a baby and no job or medical benefits?). But the evening was saved by the dinner my good friend Kip made while watching the votes come in. Great company, great ambiance, great food. And lots of wine. Too much wine, LOL. Squash soup, smoked salmon bits and cheese, Perch from Lake Victoria in Africa, potatoes, kale, and hot apple crisp WITH VANILLA HAAGEN DAAS!!!! It was all good. The Democrats won the House, and lets hope they can affect some change in America. Let's all keep our thoughts positive. I have to go shower and get ready for work, and look forward to picking up the paper to see who won regionally. I will be back later for another post later. The bonus for last night's de

Meet Jennie

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I walked into the paper show and was faced with some 20 booths filled with thousands upon thousands of postcards and pieces of paper. "Where do I start?" I thought. There were lots of people lining the sides, so I decided to go down the middle where there was less traffic. Postcard buyers are a very interesting and diverse crowd, and I was not honing in on someone's territory. There are some serious buyers out there who are not to be reckoned with! I spotted Wanda, whom I had bought from before. She always has interesting ephemera and is very nice, so I dallied a bit in her booth. In my digging, I found this piece of hand painted celluloid which was used to put onto cards, books, etc. It was simply done, but sang of the early 1900's. Wanda showed me a real photo card that was a picture of Jennie and said "here is a picture of the woman who made that. She was my cousin. She was a comely sort of gal." I looked at the photo and figured all she needed

THANKSGIVING IS SOON.....

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It's that time of the year again when I go to my local postcard show and indulge myself in a few hours of ephemera hunting. I am always on the prowl looking for things that grab me, and I am sure to always find a few cool items to use SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW. It just gets harder and harder to organize after 15 years of collecting antique paper. It was also a day where I closed myself into my studio with my recent hoarde, and mulled over the endless possibilities and then just grab one and start. I also always find a few things that I end up selling on ebay to help fray the costs of my paper addiction, oh, I mean supplies!! I have wonderful Thanksgiving Cards in my ebay store, and it is the perfect time to send a card to someone you are thinking of, but can't go and see. It is a time to give thanks for such friends and family, and you still can't beat a lovely card sent via the US Postal Service! Each is made with an antique postcard and embellished with glitter on qualit

ON A LIGHTER NOTE....

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The last several posts have been intense. Most of my life in general has been intense. I try and simplify things when I can, and today was a day of puppies, toddlers,tweens,family, and fun. I took Alanna to visit my sister and her family for a birthday party, and all was delightful. I did not turn on my cell phone, only made one call out, and for an afternoon lived in a world of peace. I came home to soft music and am helping myself to a glass of wine before bed. The moon is shining near full in the sky, the stars were twinking on my way home back to the mountains from Westchester, and I saw many paintings awaiting a canvas. I am struggling with my painting, but know that in order to grow I must just paint. JUST DO IT the voice tells me. Who cares if the first 50 paintings go in the garbage or are scanned as backgrounds for some other work. I have decided I need to really explore my colors and do some mixing and make some charts. It will force me to become familiar with my pal

Poem To Megan in Iraq

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This is the poem I wrote to my daughter in Iraq in response to the poem she sent to me. It is the last poem I have written. Ironically, the artwork that I chose is about infant mortality. It is a piece that I have given my husband. Thoughts While Shaving My Legs I miss you My Meggie-O 19 year old daughter raised on Cherrie-O's, Green Eggs and Ham. I imagine you fixing hummers strapped in the green Bush machine. My sapling, My baby, My daughter. I find myself trying to get close to you and find the razor that you used before you left. While I soak I watch how it glides and plows the foam road of my legs the same way it must have plowed yours. I pretend my legs are the same light pink long, lean, running machines that you sport. And I sigh. The meaning of it all in the tub. The razor so close to that edge... the one that we share.

Poem from Iraq

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This poem was written to me from Megan when she was in Iraq a few years ago. It was written while she was in battle, and was about 19, realizing that though she thought herself "street smart", she was not ready for what she was encountering. My small hands grip the warm plastic of the hand guards on my eight pounds of steel, pure killing power. The sounds around me grip my heart. I fear I will not kiss you one last time. I look at your picture, polaroid, smiling, radiant red hair, gleaming waves of beauty. Your serene smile, of sadness and hopefulness for a better day. Your struggles show in your bright, piercing eyes, knowing unspoken truths never to be unleashed from your amazing mind. I quickly wipe away tears and focus on my current fiasco hiding behind the barn. Too steep, I'm sliding, strong legs becoming rubber. Fear cannot grip me now. I must show true strength to survive this fiery nightmare. I don't feel him coming but I know he's there. Crosshairs on t

More War Illnesses?

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I have been doing a bit of research about some of the illnesses encoutered by our soldiers since the Gulf War. Reactions to Anthrax. Lupus like symtoms. Cancers. Strange and unexplainable illnesses. The government's denial of any danger that our soldiers are in when exposed to various vaccinations and substances such as DU.You can brush it off until it hits in your own home and you remember Agent Orange and wonder what will be discovered 10 years from now. My daughter is 22. Since her return to the US from Iraq she has had nothing but a slew of medical problems. Blood tests and symtoms that mimic lupus or other auto immune disorders. Kidney stones. Unexplainable stomach malfunction and vicious vomitting with blood. Blood counts that make doctors think one moment she has internal bleeding, then the next day are fine. Pre cancerous tumors that are there one month and gone the next. It is documented that her spine and hips are deteriorating. She is in periodic severe pain.