I tried sending my blog to the new beta blog site on google last night. I am not sure what happened, I am not even sure it is even on the new beta site. I am just glad my blog is back. All I know is that for a 24 hour period I could not access my blog. Things changed, names, passwords, ways to get there etc. and I lost it. I broke down and cried. I have been blogging faithfully since the summer and had put tons of time and energy into it, only to lose it in cyberspace?! A tekkie told me that once in a while they escape and go partying. Well, I don't care where my blog went as long as it is back, like a wayward child, safe and sound.

Speaking of wayward children, this is a picture of both of my children before they joined the military. Yes, I know it is blurry. My husband is a photographer and out of the whole role of film, this was his favorite shot. Sometimes he throws things out of focus on purpose. This has an eerieness and an impermanance to it. Megan, my daughter, is on the right. She looks like a baby. She was about to go into boot camp for the Army. Never would we realize she would end up in Iraq, pregnant, and now have cancer. Will is on the left. Look at his eyes. He joined the Air Force a bit later. He did not last. Perhaps he was the smarter of the two.

I cannot look back, I cannot look forward; I maintain a steady course in the present. Megan has started chemo. It is too early to tell how she will react to it. Will is employed for some 4-5 months now and has a room in a nice house. I never know when the other proverbial shoe is going to fall, but I take each day a ginger step at a time.

I was in the craft store today buying chain for these fabulous wood dolls that I have made for the show, and they were playing upbeat Christmas carols. I thought of my daughter starting her chemo and I started to cry behind the garland. I quickly composed myself and continued on as if nothing happened. Everyone has sorrow and pain. That is what life is made out of. It is also made of laughter and joy and I have to hold that close to my heart when I start to crumble.

I have lots of work to do but when I found my blog I had to dash off an entry. It felt like an old friend or lover had returned to me. Ah, the joy of simple things.

Till tomrorow, Patti


Anonymous said…
Hi Patti,
I bought the zine (whats that)? "Eat Man Drink Water" on e-bay, I didn't know you needed to make it that makes it even more interesting. I love victorian things I sold my 116 year old victorian house to move to Alaska. It had a cemetary in the yard.
Sorry about your current heartache life is messy but sometimes its wonderful.
Peace and Blessings to you
Judy Vars

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