Kissing Repulsive Neil

I guess this is a dedication to Andre week. As her memorial approaches, I find myself looking through the things Julie asked me to scan for various purposes. It is amusing and whispers stories to me of a creative little girl who never forgot how to write stories all her 85 years.

This page is one from a handmade Valentine book Andre made for her mother in the 30's. It is precious. The illustrations are wonderful and have a naievity about them. I wondered who litte Neil was? Did "the then repulsive Neil" change? Andre must have been at an age when she thought all little boys were repulsive.

Come to think of it, I don't think I ever thought boys were repulsive. I remember having MAJOR crushes with boys in my 1st grade class and writing letters to them. My one true love was Gary. We acutally wrote love notes back and forth. Then one day he disappeared for a long time. I heard he had an accident with fire crackers and got hurt. When he came back to school it was frightening; he had burned up half his face. I don't remember what happened to him, I don't think he came back the following year. I was traumatized yet again in my life. But I never stopped liking boys and living in fantasy worlds with them which I created. I have a little black book of poems of loss and angst and unrequited love and lust and .... dreams of finding Mr. Right. It took 20 years and lots of dashed dreams and fantasies to find him. UGH and think of all the REPULSIVE NEILS I had to kiss to get there! LOL.

Now for more joyful thoughts; I have Alanna tomorrow which means that I will be forced to enjoy life at a more mellow pace. I have some work to do but we will get it done, only at a slower rate!

Tipping my rum to friday, patti


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