Some Friday Night Healing

I checked my stats today and was HORRIFIED to see that no one had read my blog at all today. I waited a few hours and the result was the same. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA.

I checked the one for Megan. 148 hits.

I was crushed. I really had done it. Lost everyone due to my dark and somber writing as of late. I write for myself..but I always hope that someone is appreciating my musings. I sat in my chair at work and was numb.

I had a migrane and had taken copious amounts of drugs, and they were not tylenol either. Nothing worked. My head pounded and I was miserable. My misery had just been compounded by literary rejection.

However, being my analytical self, I checked the html on my blog, and sure enough, while messing around with templates and links, I had erradicated the code for the counter. WHEW. Saved.

Gina stopped in my room and saw how much pain I was in. Even though I had scheduled a massage with her later that afternoon, she massaged my head and some pressure points, I took more of my migrane medication, and voilla, the headache faded away. By now it was 2:00. Six hours of hell.

At 3:30 pm I found myself along the Hudson River again. I had been there a four days earlier and was shocked that the river had mostly frozen over with a thin coat of ice save for a channel that a barge had furrowed on its passage north. It's been quite cold the past few days, just enough to put an inch or so on the river. It was crystalline and crisp. I was disappointed again that I did not have a camera of any sort on me. I was thinking about painting and light and life and I passed the drive to Megan's house and ended up in the orchards a few miles south. (another great view and spot to paint).

Later I headed to Ginas for an hour massage. A glass of wine, Raja, and a wonderful massage left me looking like I had "that glow". For the first time in days I felt human and totally at peace and relaxed. I stopped by the local sushi place for take out and Larry and I had dinner by the fireplace with a bottle of wine....

A friend of mine called who has been calling me for a while now, trying to get me to come out and play. Not being in the mood these days, I could no longer say no, so once more I was off again. Let's just say we did a lot of laughing.

The fire is still burning, there are pillows on the floor. I think I will stretch out and lie there and feel the heat on my body till it fades away. I am smiling. It feels good. It has been too long. It is only 11:13 and I am hoping that in the next 45 minutes of the day I can think of just one more thing to do....



Anonymous said…
My heart goes out to you and your family! That is a lot to deal with! And having a migraine on top of that...I have some of that med in the event one starts to come for a visit. Massage...hmmm I just may call my son who is a massage therapist to get his happy hips over to my house and give his old Mom a massage!

Healing comes in many ways, individual to each person...writing your blog is a good way to deal with some things. Keep on journaling!
Judy said…
Your counter must be off because I read your blog yesterday, for one, and I bet a lot of other people did too. I never look at counters for anything I write online. If you are really just writing for yourself, then looking at counters tends to be counter-productive! Just my nickel of course - but please don't be discouraged about anything like that!

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