Tragically Romantic

I wrote a blog the other night about my being a hopeless romantic, but I have to admit, I was not being totally forthcoming. I forgot the part about my also being somewhat of a hopelessly TRAGIC romantic. Though I would love to believe in happily ever after stories, like The Sound of Music, the reality is, my life has been more like a crash and burn movie. The English Patient comes to mind. That by the way, was one of my favorite seriously tragic movies. I went to see it in the theater, and remember being devastated by it and unable to speak for days following. Beautifully filmed, GREAT hot love scenes, sadly sensual characters, and a good story line. It was reminiscent of a few relationships I had which left my heart in pieces for a long, long time.

There was B, a casual affair, who wanted more of a committment from me. My rejection made him angry and he drove his car into a tree after leaving me. He became partially handicapped the rest of his life, and was never mentally the same. Some years later I saw him on the street and he wanted another chance. I had to turn him down again, and he started yelling obscenities at me. Shaken, I walked away quickly, sad for him...but unable to change my feelings or the past.

Then there was R, a friend's brother who thought that a few dates made me his for life. I ended that quickly and then later found out shortly thereafter he was murdered in Miami.

Husband #1 could have been the poster child for The Burning Bed. I made him watch that too, thinking he might get the hint and change his wicked, evil ways. No chance. He never remarried and years later he would still call me up crying.

Almost husband #2 was another sad story, leaving me alone, high on a hill, lonely and deserted, with the snowflakes spinning round my world burying me in a cold, silent blanket, a scene right out of Dr. Zhivago. He has not been able to have a decent relationship since....but that had nothing to do with me.

Then there were the relationships that were reminiscent of The Girl With the Pearl Earring, were the tension builds, passion ignites, and love is never consumated; snuffed by life's circumstances.

There were a few black comedies, and actually a few who might have lived happily ever after, but I cannot verify this. They are far, far away from here.

Larry, don't get nervous. So, I didn't tell you everything... I hope the curse is over, and suspect it has been transferred to other areas of my life.

Oh and PS..tonight was a scene out of The Exorcist, as Alanna became violently ill and projectile vomitted all over my daugher and I, and the sofa, and the carpet, and my art.....

What a great way to end a day.

BUT I am always optimistic and laughing. What else is one to do?


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