And the Spirits Were Angry

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I am a bit frustrated right now. I wrote this intense expose blog eariler, and when I went to go back and publish it, it was gone. POOF...a work of art floating somewhere in cyberspace never to be found - by me at least. Perhaps it is just another example of our being "dust in the wind".

So, the blog will take on an entirely new rambling as I am not going to try and recreate the earier one.

The day was interesting to say the least. My students were vibrant, talkative, interested in stories and interaction with me. Sometimes I have to forgo art history for the student's own history, intertwined with mine. Together we forge a camraderie, understanding, empathy that crosses age barriers. The kids refuse to believe I am almost 50- they see me so much younger. Perhaps it is because I let them know I am human, have made mistakes, have not forgotten what it feels like to fall in love, to be loved, to experience something new. I do not pretend I know it all, have all the answers, though I have great wisdom that I feel can benefit those who are willing to listen.

I show them by example how to live life to its fullest and give them a glimpse of sensualtiy....in fresh ground coffee, breakfast offered on antique plates, lovely hand soaps and lotions. My students are nurtured and loved-----but they must meet my high expectations of them..and they usually pull through. I don't settle for mediocrity, and push them carefully to their limits of learning and experiencing art and life. Therein lies the beauty of my job.

This painting...ah, one of the most personal paintings I have made. Done while in grad school and undergoing the most intense and traumatic events of my life...my divorce. I have kept this painting hidden in dark corners, not given it the life it deserves. It is painfully potent in its tale...of isolationism, of disappointment, of great sadness and of magic. Influenced by trips to the desert on Indian Reservations, of court rooms, and trials. Of abuse and of healing.

I still wonder if I am on the outside looking in, in another realm and space, always analyzing, looking at life and relationships from another dimension; not bound to earthly laws, an arc of light, a flash of desire, a shower of musings, a backdrop of scenarios and dreams.....

patti

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