Museday....those mornings when I go back to work after a holiday and no matter what day of the week it is, it is still monday....and while sitting on the toilet or taking a shower, I muse as to why the hell I have to work in the first place, how there are so many millionaires in the world and I don't understand why can't one of them be me.....and why can't I just make art and write all the time AND be a millionaire.
But for now I like the steady salary I am making after 15 years of teaching, and I muse myself right into my car and head to work.
Every tuesday is a museday as Megan goes for more chemo and radiation, or has more tests, and I think about her fate, her daughter's, my own fate, and how impermanent and fleeting everything is. I find myself frantic, trying to make every moment count in case tomorrow it has slipped away, morphed into a nebulous memory that drifts though the mind like a fog. I attempt to hold onto every experience, but it moves too fast and indeed all is in the moment.
So in the moment I make art, in the moment I write. In the moment I find someone to hold onto in case I lose strength, in the moment I seek love and wisdom to give me sight. In the moment I give my spirit and heart to anyone who will hold it sacred.
Self Reflection: digital