ACOA

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In spite of my being horridly sick with allergies, I went to my first ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meeting with a close friend .

I am no stranger to 12 step programs, as I have attended them a few times in my life. I have had and still have more than my share of “qualifiers” in my life. The program, as well as good therapists AND hard work, have kept me out of the psych ward, and given me strength to go on when I did not think it possible.

I have always attended these meetings in times of crisis, and this is the first time I going when I am not in crisis, but wanting the tools in order to be ready for the next one. And I know there will be a next one.

Interesting that after all these years I never addressed the fact that my mother was an alcoholic. She was very quiet about it, and I was so innocent and ignorant about it that I did not even realize she drank until I was in my mid to late 20’s, when she drank herself into a severe stroke. I just knew she was vacant, and was having a lot of “accidents” and did not protect us from our father.

Now as I near 50 I am desperately searching for serenity and peace in my life. I have come to see the workings of dysfunction in my life and how IN SPITE OF all the hard work I have done, I still have ghosts and deeply entrenched habits and thought patterns built upon living with those sick with alcoholism and mental illness.

I am willing to work hard, no, even harder than ever before. It is challenging at times, often painful, but out of that comes healing, and I hope to find peace.

Here's to peace in all of our hearts, Patti

Comments

Judy Vars said…
Patti,
Life is mysterious. Today I learned my brother had a stroke, cardiac arrest and is now brain dead all this is because of drug addiction. I too am no stranger to 12 step programs. If not for the tools that I have learned I too would be unable to cope with the life I was handed. The 12 steps saved my bacon and in times of crisis I instinctively find shelter and peace there. Bless you and your family. May the peace and love of the program be with you.
Love
Judy
12:25 AM
Anonymous said…
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juliana

Pennsylvania Drug Addiction
5:02 AM
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