I Don't Know

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I don't even know what to write about or where to start. I am emotionally and physically drained. I came off the past 10 days of intense work at school, the kids riled up with spring fever and vacation, making it nearly impossible to get my grading done for the semester. I had to do lots of accounting work at home, and, as of the past few days I have not been feeling well on any level, and I think the hormones are short circuiting a bit.

You are not here however, to listen to me whine. So I will get over it.

I will list the good things I did today and rejoice in them:

I got to see my friend Rob whom I have not seen in two months. We always have interesting conversations over some kind of drink and gnosh. On a whim we took off to Target and I bought myself a new piece luggage-an Eddie Bauer piece. 15 year warantee. I am sick of the luggage I have, all of which I have managed to mangle in some way; broken handles, missing wheels. I break luggage like I break corkscrews. So I will take off with my first ever new piece of luggage. OK to be fair, my mother did give me a suitcase set when I went to Italy when I was 19, but that has LONG since died.

I have some strange electrical things going on with my Honda CRV, and aside from that, I left my lights on for 15 mintues which drained my battery. It was dusk, we were ready to leave the mall, and there my car was DEAD. The good part is Rob knew that the mall security guards have a portable jumper and in no time they had my car jumped and running.

I got paid today which means I have a job and for that I am very thankful.

I leave for a five day break from my life on monday, and I will get to see a dear friend and just sit and relax and meditate on the direction of my life.

I am rambling here, mostly because what I really want to say I can't as it is just too personal. I can't get out of my head about it enough to make any sense out of life right now. All I can do is take it a day at a time.

A PS...Larry told me tonight that he thought I was too obsessed and hard on myself in many ways. I am driven, and I admit that. But I look at how far I have come in my life, and I don't know if I would be where I am without being driven. Well, while I am taking a break to renew myself, and will I think more on this. He thinks I drive myself crazy, a part of which is true. But then again, is he trying to tell me I drive HIM crazy? LOLOL......

And the artwork, mixed media piece that I did..which I have posted once here before, but it really depicts my mood oh-so-well.

Comments

Heather! said…
Hi..You can whine all you want!! You deserve to get it off your chest & if we don't like it, we can always read your next blog!! I too have a daughter struggling with an illness & she is only 13... this is the first time to ever visit your site here & just wanted to write & tell you I will be back to see what's on it often!!! Take it easy... Heather! www.heatherslittlestarfarm.blogspot.com or www.caringbridge.org/visit/sheridankayser
3:54 AM
Anonymous said…
Hi Patti.... I am wishing you a wonderful trip, hope you get some much needed R & R. I am touched by your words and wisdom everyday. I know you as an extraordinary woman, beautiful both inside and out. I admire your strength and honesty. We are both survivors and sometimes being a survivor is exhausting. My thoughts and prayers are with you everyday. Hugs, Janet
3:37 PM
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