Easter Day Musing

This trip saved my sanity. I don’t know why I let myself get to the point of almost no return before I do something to help myself.

Perhaps it is old habits; it is what I have always done. I never go over the edge, but stick out my foot and test the waters, and waver in a twilight zone of sadness and struggle. Perhaps it is biochemical ; I suspect it is a combination of both.

During my trip I read Discovery’s latest magazine. Fascinating information about the latest research on development, disease, and functioning of the brain. I was especially interested in Kate Jamison-Redfield’s article on manic depression. She wrote the intense and informative book “An Unquiet Mind” and a book on Manic Depression and the artistic temperament.

Whatever the cause, I have come back in a calm state. I feel like I can deal with the issues in my life in a rational manner, and I have learned things about myself that enlightened me and I have gained strength in order to grow and to change. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Thank you Bardet for providing the safety, the love, and the environment to heal and be inspired. You are indeed a goddess.

I spent today with Megan, Alanna, and Dole, Megan’s boyfriend. We had a lovely time eating, coloring eggs, hiding them, then watching Alanna seek them out. It was an atmosphere of warmth and comfort. I thank the universe for this time with my daughter as I don’t know what the future holds. But every day that we can smile and laugh is a day that we hold love close in our hearts.

I also went to visit my mom in the nursing home. She is always glad to see me. We spent the time chatting, and watching an old Judy Garland/Fred Astaire movie.

I made dinner for Larry tonight, perhaps for the first time in weeks. Veloute du Cresson (crème of watercress soup) and a salad with goat cheese, apples, and walnuts. A healthy, yet filling and tasty treat. It has been 30 years or more since I have made watercress soup. We would pick the watercress growing wild in the swampy areas, near drainage ditches and such by the road.. Tonight’s epicurean delight took me back to another time, when I was 17, and full of wonder and lust. At 49, I still feel 17 at times, and hope that I will feel that way ‘till I move to the next realm.

Tonight’s picture was taken coming back over the Hudson. I love California, but I still love my Hudson River, and sunset tonight was fab.

Peace to you all, xx patti


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