A Patch of Blue
I was driving Alanna back home from pre-school today as Megan was too sick to get her. I did not mind, I had some time to spare before my chiropractor appointment.
I kept to the main routes, and only traveled on the back roads that I knew were free of water. I passed by many corn fields submerged still under flood waters, and taught Alanna a new word as we drove by the fields. FLOOD. She looked out the car window and promptly said MUD.
As I was driving along, a patch of blue shone through the greyness that has been literally and figuratively in my life for a LONG time. It was a crisp, clear, beautiful blue, especially brilliant against the somber grey clouds. I smiled.
As I drove along I had many things on my mind, but I was feeling especially grateful for the special people in my life - those who have loved or accepted me unconditionally and whose non judgemental manners have let me be who I am. There is no greater gift to give to a person.
At one point in my drive I became infused with the most wonderful feeling of pure white light love in my heart. It was beautiful, it was peaceful. It was one of those moments when you know that we are only a small part of a larger entity, and that entity is the source of love and great joy.
I felt honored to have briefly held such beauty in my heart. It made me smile, it gave me peace.
There was a time in my life when I did not know love, could not feel love, could not give love. It has been something that I have had to learn from others as I had no role models to teach me such skills. It has been a difficult journey; I have been hurt and I have hurt others. I still struggle with it; I think many of us do. But experience and learning that comes from hard work and age has given me the gift of feeling and learning how to accept and give unconditional love.
Such moments of clarity are dear to me, and with that I will sleep tonight with a smile on my lips and in my heart.